Why do I keep coming back to this?

[ShatteredWings]

Yeah. I don't necessarily see the problem, but I also see that my own actions are the exact things I tell people not to do because it'll harm them.

I've barely eaten since wensday.
I barely ate ANYTHING yesterday.

I want to loose weight. I know i know; "you look fine" "you're not fat".
But I'm certainly not healthy at how heavy I am. Medically I'm NOT healthy unless i'm under 165 or so. And I'm a good 15 pounds heavier. Again. Because I can't get past this fucking range where I'm overweight but "carry it well"

Well you know fucking what?
it only looks like I 'carry it well" because on a daily fucking basis this weight is flattend down on my body so you can't see it.
My wardrobe is 85% BLACK. Of course you can't see the fucking weight you morons. If I wore clothes "my size", in lighter colors, and didn't flatten things, YOU'D BE ABLE TO FUCKING SEE IT.

But I know my behavores are going face down again. And that scares me.

But what can I do? I'm too thin to be able to loose weight the 'healthy' way, and I don't have the control to take that method anyway. Everything or nothing.


....I don't want to be a girl.....

God that was a lot of text. I'm done for now.

[welcome_to_chaos]

well first off not eating accually slows the bodies motabilism which makes it store fat instead of burn it...second not eating is not the way to loose weight its a serious problem for many and i bet for u. but pick healthier ways to burn it off but dont deprive urself of the nutrients u need

god i feel like such a hypocrite writing that

[Sith Lord 13]

Kyle,

No. Just no. No starving yourself. We'll talk more in private.

[Quick_Sylver]

:hug:

I know how you feel. Talk to me hun.

[Triceratops]

You know I know exactly how you feel. <3

[Razz]

your not alone i know how you feel... but starving yourself will kill your metabolism.. when you start eating again you'll gain more then what you've started with... but it will get back to normal once your body knows it's no longer starving itself... stay strong hun *huggles* i'm here for you.. you are not alone.. exercise is a great way to burn off calories also eating less carbs mroe fruits and veggies. small portions of meat. if you drink a glass of water before eating you'll feel more full. Water boosts metabolism well helps it out and helps you not get dehydrated so make sure your drinking!!!

[ShatteredWings]

I need to grow a spine and respond to this shit in a more timely manner.

And quit skipping lunch, because if I don't go I'll binge later.
But if I show up, even if I don't eat, somehow I'm not hungry later. Must be tricking my brain into thinking i've eaten or something.

well first off not eating accually slows the bodies motabilism which makes it store fat instead of burn it...second not eating is not the way to loose weight its a serious problem for many and i bet for u. but pick healthier ways to burn it off but dont deprive urself of the nutrients u need

god i feel like such a hypocrite writing that
Yeah. I know.
Why does logic elude me when I need it the most?
I feel like I can't burn it off though. No matter what I do if I'm consuming over a certain amount, which seems to be in mass rather than calories, I can't burn it off.

Kyle,

No. Just no. No starving yourself. We'll talk more in private.
Heh. We need to talk about this. Preferably without giving you any stupid ideas.

:hug:

I know how you feel. Talk to me hun.
You know I know exactly how you feel. <3
Of course.
Again, logic is failing me.
...I hate my brain sometimes.

your not alone i know how you feel... but starving yourself will kill your metabolism.. when you start eating again you'll gain more then what you've started with... but it will get back to normal once your body knows it's no longer starving itself... stay strong hun *huggles* i'm here for you.. you are not alone.. exercise is a great way to burn off calories also eating less carbs mroe fruits and veggies. small portions of meat. if you drink a glass of water before eating you'll feel more full. Water boosts metabolism well helps it out and helps you not get dehydrated so make sure your drinking!!!
I'm responding to this despite the poster being banned.
1) I'm aware it'll kill my metabolism. I've been doing this shit on/off since i was 12/13, and every time I gain back more weight than where I started from. My highest was 195 -.- Lowest... 140? 130? I'm not sure. But that was awhile ago and I want back down to that weight.
2) It is, however, it's never enough.
3) it does, however, when you live in a house where your parents are fat fucks.... (as in, makes my highest weight look normal)