I miss being 'skinny'

[ChristianaValle]

Im a 17 year old girl at 5'10" and I weight 145.
Im a little underweight, but I wish I was skinnier.
I have had my ups and downs, and i have had bulimia and anorexia I was actually at the point wher I had a feeding tube.
And I actually miss the feeding tube, cuz i never felt bad for eating too much, but then I gradually gained enough weight to just be forced into eating. Months and onths later I am now 'cured' so now I can just have an emotionao breakdown and still be forced to eat. :(

But, i just wanted to write this because am tired of feeling fat, and I would really like some advice/help about this.

[closed]

I'm not a doctor, but i am still gonna try to help you.
try to see the process you've done, and be proud of yourself for handling this much weight. i think talking about it really should help, so i'm glad you've came here :)
you can talk with everyone on this section of th eforum and they wil be supportive and understanding :)

[LiveLife23]

Well in life, its not always about being skinny like the models and celebrities, its about being healthy. I know its extremely hard, trust me i know, but you just gotta push through and eat fruits, vegetables, meats all that stuff. Eating these will help you be skinny and healthy rather then just skinny where being skinny has very bad consequences for your body. haveing fat doesnt nescesarily mean your fat, fat is just a way to store energy to be used later, so if you eat less foods with fats, then you have less energy to store, but make sure you eat plenty of carbs because carbs are you ebergy source for the day. also keep some fat in case becasue its actually healthy to have fat but not an excessive amount. By how much you weigh, your height,and that your a girl your perfectly fine just the way you are.

[ChristianaValle]

Thank you both.
For me, being healthy is the same thing as fat.
It always has.
Being average is just the same as failing. :/
I dunno what to do anymore.
I know if I get the chance I will push myself til I either pass out, end up in the hospital, or get really really sick.

Do you have any ideas on how i can get these negative thoughts out of my head?

[Charleigh]

your not fat. im heavier than you ! i dont look it but im actually 9 stone 8 and im 13 and im 5 ft 7. keep strong and eat !!! if there is anything just pm me x

[Syvelocin]

Back before media had such a huge toll on us, Victorian times even, it was the curvy, average to a bit overweight girls who were seen as the attractive, desirable ones. Never be ashamed of you weight, though that statement is hypocritical for me. It's not fun to be 2st (almost 30 lbs) underweight, you're fine where you are.

[ChristianaValle]

I really hope so.. Im trying to eat as healthy as i can.
Trying to stay away from junk food, cuz i dont want too binge.
But thank you all for giving me such great advice.