[Bisexuality]I need a bit of help.

[Anonymous.]

So, here's my dilemma.

I'm bisexual, and I've admitted it to myself. Finally. Now, a bit about my background. I'm male, I'm from London, and I'm 16. I'm also a Muslim.

My family has strong religious views, and this in return has issues with having a relationship with another boy. Homosexuality (even if it is partial) is not allowed. I can't exactly admit it, or I would forever be disowned by my parents. They're not exactly homophobic, but it is deeply frowned upon.

So, what exactly am I supposed to do? Forever keep it a secret from my family and parents? Or, admit it, and face the consequences? I know what I am, but revealing it to those around me may have a bad outcome.

Thanks for reading. It's great to finally get this off my chest.

[Harley Quinn]

Depends on what's best for you, and what would help you in the long run. Hiding it all your life won't do you any good though, will only make you more guilty, and hurt a lot more. I hide it for three years before I told anyone really, I figured that if people couldn't accept me for who I was, then they weren't good people in the first place and that you can always tell true friends and people if they stick around. Your parents may not like it but your their child, they'll love you no matter what, it's their job as parents and guardians of you. Remember that you dont have to come out now, you have plenty of time, weigh up all the pros and cons and go from there!

[Apollo.]

You should'nt have to hide who you are from your family and friends but I know how it is my family isn't even against gays in any way but if I am gay i think i might be I would never be able to tell them I don't know why i would just feel like i was a dissapointment so it really depends if you are ready to tell them go ahead it will probably make you feel better but if it will affect your lofe negatively then I would think twice about it. Also if it would put you in any danger telling those around you then i really cant give any advice on that. But either way if you tell them or not at least you know you can talk to people about it on vt and its always good to talk things over with someone before doing anything important like coming out.

[Anonymous.]

It's pretty much facing the dissapointment coming from my family.

Anyways, thanks for the help, both of you. I guess I'll give it time and just think over it.

[jovien]

ok well since u admited it to urself then u have to think about ur slef (ill explain) to admit it is like telling ur self its ok and u wont lie anymore now u have to apply that to ur life its ok and u dont have to lie about it so date guys and girls and bring them home to say hi to them ive never personally thought that anyone should have to "come out" or whatever becuase strait people dont have to so why do u (just my thoughts u dont have to adopt them just take them into concideration and if u like it make them ur own)

[nick]

In your situation I would probably not come out until I was old enough to leave home and live independantly. Once you are an adult you may need to be prepared to risk losing your family in order to be able to live your own life in a fullfilling way.

[jovien]

In your situation I would probably not come out until I was old enough to leave home and live independantly. Once you are an adult you may need to be prepared to risk losing your family in order to be able to live your own life in a fullfilling way.

i almost agree with u but what if he loses his drive to do it or what if the stress builds up i mean i agree he should have a back up plan but waiting till he is an adult thats basicly saying be strait till u get ur own place and thats not right

[Lights]

This is why I get so frustrated with religious ethics.
The question pending, is: Do you want to commit to a relationship with a male?

If so, you need to wait until you find someone who you know you can commit to. The last thing you want is to be disowned by your family and have nowhere else to turn. Make sure you're absolutely certain of your sexuality, because there's no turning back.

If not, I wouldn't see the need to say anything. If you're wanting to commit to a female, you're really going to be doing yourself no good by saying anything.

[TheAppleGeek]

religion is BULL S**T. I would confront ur parents and say with confidents and pride.

"I WILL DATE WHO I WANT TO DATE AND YOU CANT STOP ME!!! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD LET ME DATE WHO I WANNA DATE NO WATTER WHAT GENDER THEY ARE!!!!!"

Good luck