I love being the good child.

[AutumnDae]

Being the good child has many perks.

However, being the bad child must suck for my brother.

He's 14. And just got suspended for 5 days. He got caught at school with marijuana and cigarettes along with a bowl.

He'll be grounded for about a billion years now.

Not only, I'm fucking embarrassed to show my face at school now. I've spent the last 5 years building up my reputation for him to shatter it. My entire family is embarrassed, and it basically sucks.

Luckily, I have my friends to keep me strong.

I am disgusted with my brother at this point in time and do not plan on talking to him.

[Sage]

I've spent the last 5 years building up my reputation for him to shatter it.

Funny thing about reputations in school is, in the real world, nobody cares. You're not your brother. You're you, and no one else. So you don't get to be some shining paragon of innocence and purity from a perfect family, so what? Nobody really is.

I don't see why you should let this bother you. It's unhealthy to let things like reputation bring you down.

[AutumnDae]

It bothers me because I live in a very small town. The whole town and school population already knows. People are yelling things at me while I walk down the hallway and girls on the volleyball team were talking about it while I was sitting right there.

I never claimed that my family was perfect, because we aren't. However, being the sister of the boy who got caught with pot at school will stick with me until I graduate, which bothers me.

[Sage]

It bothers me because I live in a very small town. The whole town and school population already knows. People are yelling things at me while I walk down the hallway and girls on the volleyball team were talking about it while I was sitting right there.

Such is the nature of small towns. If it truly bothers you so much, you can move in two years or so once you're 18.

[AutumnDae]

I don't have anything against my town, I love it, actually. I have something against my brother.

[Sage]

I don't have anything against my town, I love it, actually. I have something against my brother.

You shouldn't. He lives his own life, he's made his choice. It bothers you because the small community you live in is shaming you day by day over it. Would this bother you as much if your family were less aghast by it, or if your reputation were unharmed?

If you think he's made a poor choice, you should help him. He's your family. You shouldn't join the crowd in pointing fingers at the scapegoat.

[disassociation2016]

I can't really relate unfortunately. I live in a small town, but I don't hear anyone talking about me negatively. If I did then we'd I would confront anyone running their mouth. My sister got pregnant at 16, and I don't get any grief about it. My parents did though.

[Dive to Survive]

You should try to talk to your brother. If anything, he might need someone to talk to right now and someone to forgive him if he's really sorry.

[Rutherford The Brave]

The kid had some pot and got caught. It happens to stupid kids who aren't smart about it. Don't get super duper pissed at it, if your mad pissed it isn't helping him. Why walk away and be like OmG he totally embarrassed me. When you could be guiding his young ass in the right direction and smarten him the fuck up.

[Clawhammer]

I think it's kinda... wrong to be more worried about your reputation than your brother. I, for one, don't care about what people think about me. What matters to me is what I know about me. Trying to impress people never got me far in life. The contrary has indeed. And besides, family is a valuable thing. Try to take good care of it. He's your brother, whether he smokes pot or not. A brother is a good thing to be on good terms with.

[1_21Guns]

That's your brothers problem, not yours.
Yes, girls will be girls, and bitch and kids will shout and whatever,
but at the end of the day, you're better than that, you're the good child that knows all that stuffs wrong, and as has been said, your brother did it, not you.
There's no doubt that kids will be kids, and poke about it for a while, and your brother may never live it down, but eventually they'll get bored of giving you earache about it.
it's not directly your reputation thats taken a beating, more the family and the one of your parents, but your an example that the family isn't all that bad, he's just lost his way.
we live in a world which has forced many to care what people think of us, when we all know we shouldn't, but your so much better than it all.
:hug:

[Nicky97]

What a wonderful opportunity to confirm all your beliefs about who is your friend and who isn't. I'll bet there are even a few surprises to be discovered. There's nothing wrong with thinking you are better than them... if it's true.

[Abigballofdust]

You're older, you're the good child, you're the clean one, you're the one everyone loves. Use it, build your reputation upon that and don't give yourself down.
Plus, do not stop talking to your brother, in fact, try to be the older brother, try to understand why he did that, try to get him never do it again...Getting grounded makes people just more angry, so if someone doesn't help him, once he's out he'll do even worse stuff...

[KodieBear]

okay...please don't stop talking to your brother. that will only make everything worse. he obviously has some insecurities or is having to deal with something that he doesn't want anyone to know about so the least you could do is try and talk to him. just ask him what's the matter and try to help him out. and people in high school normally don't care about stuff like that. i highly doubt he ruined your rep so don't ruin his by making him feel his family hates him. that's the WORST thing anyone could do in my opinion...a lot of people get bullied for that kind of thing if you haven't noticed.

[Tyler-Jay]

People make mistakes don't stop talking to your brother because he made one.

[Errr]

I live in a small town to...your the people i feel bad for. Because you cant be YOU can you? Nope, its all about how you seem to people,eh? Well like someone above me said. The real world, doesnt care about who you were in high school. And its not like it was crack or heroin or anything. GET over it.

[The Joker]

Obviously you're not the good child. The good child would help out their brother, see what's wrong, how he's feeling, and help him out.

Put family before your reputation.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Reputation is overrated to begin with but honestly who gives a piss? Its pot kids they smoke pot, its what they do. My step sister got caught pot, my pot in fact. I live in a small town and no one gave a fuck. They were like ok that girl has reefer.

[The Joker]

Exactly. As Greg said, a little reefer isn't a terrible thing and could help relax him.

[Apollo.]

Not talking to your brother will only mak things worse try talking to him about it

[AutumnDae]

Obviously you're not the good child. The good child would help out their brother, see what's wrong, how he's feeling, and help him out.

Put family before your reputation.
I do put my family before my reputation, thanks. However, as a family, we have a reputation as well. Which he has soiled.

Reputation is overrated to begin with but honestly who gives a piss? Its pot kids they smoke pot, its what they do. My step sister got caught pot, my pot in fact. I live in a small town and no one gave a fuck. They were like ok that girl has reefer.

That's your town, in my town, people DO care about that sort of thing.

Exactly. As Greg said, a little reefer isn't a terrible thing and could help relax him.
In my opinion, it is a terrible thing considering it's illegal. I don't agree with drinking or drugs, so yeah, I would rather have my own family respect that and at least do it in private so I don't know about it and have to deal with it.




Thanks to my brother, the dogs were brought in with the police officers. 3 more kids had pot in their locker. Since my brother hasn't been back to blame for it, I'm being blamed. Half the kids in the hallway don't look at me anymore, they're mad at me because now everyone's parents are being more strict, because my brother got caught with the pot.


Yeah, it seems like I'm a bitch and care more about my personal reputation than my brother's feelings, and honestly I do. You all keep telling me that I am my own person and what not, so then why care about how my brother feels? He made the bad decision of bringing it to school and doing it in the first place, and he got caught. His own fault. However, I am forced to deal with the consequences of his actions as well as him. My mother is head of the PTA, she's afraid to hold another meeting. She does a bunch of charity work, how are people going to look at her now? My dad is a member of numerous organizations in this town, people are looking at us like we are the ones that did it. My mom thinks she's a terrible parent. I'm a member of NHS, yearbook, student council, among a gazillion other things and now my brother is smoking marijuana and people ask me all the time if I'm doing it too. It sucks, and people don't realize that I've been against this my entire life, I've made speeches on it to school kids.

[Sage]

Yeah, it seems like I'm a bitch and care more about my personal reputation than my brother's feelings, and honestly I do.

And that, ultimately, is the problem. If you can't realize that as every single other poster has stated, what do you hope to get out of this thread?

[Sith Lord 13]

I have to say, I'm 90% with Autumn on this one. She's suffering for his choices. It's not fair or right to her, and she has every right to be pissed at him. He did a stupid ass thing (bringing the pot to school and getting caught) and the fact she has to suffer for it is not right.

That said, depending on the kind of person your brother is, the silent treatment could be a little harsh. You can make your anger and disappointment clear without going that far.

[Rutherford The Brave]

My point is, since you won't let your brother handle his own shame, and you continously say that it bothers you and its so stupid. It will never end. That's that. Just because you care so much about it, makes it to harder to move on.

[AutumnDae]

I have to say, I'm 90% with Autumn on this one. She's suffering for his choices. It's not fair or right to her, and she has every right to be pissed at him. He did a stupid ass thing (bringing the pot to school and getting caught) and the fact she has to suffer for it is not right.

That said, depending on the kind of person your brother is, the silent treatment could be a little harsh. You can make your anger and disappointment clear without going that far.
Thank you. Basically, it's not the silent treatment he's getting from me. I refuse to talk to him about the incident because I know he doesn't regret it.

My point is, since you won't let your brother handle his own shame, and you continously say that it bothers you and its so stupid. It will never end. That's that. Just because you care so much about it, makes it to harder to move on.

I'll move on as soon as he owns up that it was a mistake and apologizes to everyone. He isn't sorry, he doesn't care. I can hear him talking to his friends "Yeah, got caught that time, next time I'll be smarter."

He smoked last night, obviously he has no remorse.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Thank you. Basically, it's not the silent treatment he's getting from me. I refuse to talk to him about the incident because I know he doesn't regret it.



I'll move on as soon as he owns up that it was a mistake and apologizes to everyone. He isn't sorry, he doesn't care. I can hear him talking to his friends "Yeah, got caught that time, next time I'll be smarter."

He smoked last night, obviously he has no remorse.

It is what it is. But if you keep waiting for him and complaining about it, it'll never come to you. That's just how it is. He won't apologize, so I don't know how long you plan to wait.

[Mzor203]

You know, this might sound odd coming from me, but sometimes people just need a good beating.

And your brother's one of those people.

[artex]

Obviously you're not the good child. The good child would help out their brother, see what's wrong, how he's feeling, and help him out.

Put family before your reputation.

I agree!!! and all those that say your reputation doesnt matter, well they are not you!! if it matters to you then OK. that said id have a talk with my brother if he did that. in my opinion it does matter what people think and your reputation its called integrity.
You parents can have this talk with him but i think you need to also. he needs to know what hes done and that it didnt only affect him but you too.

[Sage]

He smoked last night, obviously he has no remorse.

I'd want to get stoned if my entire family rejected me for my mistakes too.

[Sith Lord 13]

I'd want to get stoned if my entire family rejected me for my mistakes too.

As understandable as that may be, one would think a caring person would refrain for at least a little while out of remorse for injuring the rest of the family. He doesn't have remorse for the act itself, that's fine, it's up to him. But to not have remorse for how your actions impact others? That's just wrong.

[Mzor203]

I'd want to get stoned if my entire family rejected me for my mistakes too.

So if your entire family rejected you for your mistakes, and that impacted you to that point, you'd repeat those mistakes without a second thought?

Yea, makes a lot of sense to me.

[The Joker]

I think the "mistake" is a way of relaxing himself.

[AutumnDae]

...Relaxing him from what? He has no stress in his life. He doesn't take hard classes at school, isn't in any extra curricular activities, doesn't have a job, doesn't play any sports...He goes to school, sleeps during classes and plays Xbox.

How much more relaxed can you get?

My issue isn't so much with the pot (Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed that he would smoke pot) but more with the fact that he has no remorse for his actions causing so many other people harm.

[Clawhammer]

Well then, it seems hopeless. What do you wish to accomplish? My advice, get on with life, it's in the past, and I'm sure on your dying day you won't say your only regret was that your brother smoked pot and people gave you the cold shoulder.

[The Joker]

...Relaxing him from what? He has no stress in his life. He doesn't take hard classes at school, isn't in any extra curricular activities, doesn't have a job, doesn't play any sports...He goes to school, sleeps during classes and plays Xbox.

How much more relaxed can you get?

My issue isn't so much with the pot (Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed that he would smoke pot) but more with the fact that he has no remorse for his actions causing so many other people harm.

I'm assuming that he smoked after getting in trouble for relaxation, because it sounds like everyone was on his ass.

I don't think that it has to do with him having no remorse, more of him not understanding why it's a problem to begin with.

[Aves]

Obviously you're not the good child. The good child would help out their brother, see what's wrong, how he's feeling, and help him out.

Put family before your reputation.

The kid had some pot and got caught. It happens to stupid kids who aren't smart about it. Don't get super duper pissed at it, if your mad pissed it isn't helping him. Why walk away and be like OmG he totally embarrassed me. When you could be guiding his young ass in the right direction and smarten him the fuck up.

I'd want to get stoned if my entire family rejected me for my mistakes too.

All of these.

Autumn, you may be the good child. But honestly, if you can't realize something is wrong with your brother, then you aren't being a very good sister. He's your brother for crying out loud. Just because he smokes pot, cigarettes, etc. doesn't make him a bad person. He could be one of those kids that does it all for the attention (I could be wrong, I dunno). But the point is he probably needs someone there for him. Especially now. You must not know how it bad it hurts when your family decides to reject you for your mistakes. You screw up, who's supposed to be there for you? Friends? Yes, but more importantly, family. You take care of your family, no matter what they have done wrong. If it's not gonna throw you in jail, then it's worth it to help family.

Main point: Be there for your brother Autumn. Stop being a bitch and at least try to care for him. If you cared enough to "try and raise his reputation" then care enough to help him through this. Sorry for sounding harsh, but it's the truth. The way you're treating him right now, putting yourself first, is just a bitchy thing to do.

/rant

[AutumnDae]

He isn't being rejected by my family for his mistakes, guys.

My parents didn't disown him.

He and I didn't have a relationship to begin with even before this, so to just go and talk to him after would be a bit weird.

You guys are all saying support my brother and shit, but how many people have 'family' members that they dislike and everyone accepts that?

[Rutherford The Brave]

He isn't being rejected by my family for his mistakes, guys.

My parents didn't disown him.

He and I didn't have a relationship to begin with even before this, so to just go and talk to him after would be a bit weird.

You guys are all saying support my brother and shit, but how many people have 'family' members that they dislike and everyone accepts that?

I hate my step sister, in above post I mentioned that she got caught with my...MY POT. She steals stuff (Mainly money) from my room which is locked when I am not home. Yet I still talk to her, to tell her not to fucking steal stuff because she'll get her ass in jail.

[Aves]

He isn't being rejected by my family for his mistakes, guys.

My parents didn't disown him.

He and I didn't have a relationship to begin with even before this, so to just go and talk to him after would be a bit weird.

You guys are all saying support my brother and shit, but how many people have 'family' members that they dislike and everyone accepts that?

He needs support right now. He's in deep shit, he knows it. Your parents might not have disowned him, but he knows their upset with him. Even if you hate your parents, like me, you still feel like shit when you've upset them (somewhat at least). You and him might not have had a good relationship to begin with, but my brother, who normally hates me, is there when I fuck up on small stuff even. And you know what? I appreciate him for that. It showed he really cared, even though we're always fighting.

If your own family won't care for you, then who will? That could very well be a reason he smoked last night. He felt alone and terrible. So, he smoked. Probably a better decision, than hiding his emotions, or worse, becoming extremely depressed. You have to realize, Autumn, that he just needs someone right now. That someone, could very easily be you.

[AutumnDae]

Yeah, my parents are upset with him, but IT'S HIS OWN FAULT. Why should I sympathize with him when he could have avoided the situation altogether?

Or why should I sympathize someone who doesn't even have enough self respect to apologize.

[Sage]

Yeah, my parents are upset with him, but IT'S HIS OWN FAULT. Why should I sympathize with him when he could have avoided the situation altogether?

Or why should I sympathize someone who doesn't even have enough self respect to apologize.

Well, what do you want to get out of this thread then?

[AutumnDae]

I wasn't expecting to get anything in particular. I was ranting. I wasn't looking for advice or anything, I didn't even have a question. I just wanted to get it all out instead of bits and pieces to people in real life.

[Sage]

I wasn't expecting to get anything in particular. I was ranting. I wasn't looking for advice or anything, I didn't even have a question. I just wanted to get it all out instead of bits and pieces to people in real life.

Oh. Okay then.

[Mzor203]

Forum descriptions help!

This is the place to let off some steam and escape from that world you need to get away from.

[CairAndros]

I can sorta relate to where you are coming from in terms of reputation. I too have a younger brother who is two years below me at the school. I am also in a similar position to yourself as regards 'reputation'; im the kid thats known as the smart one, the good one, the one that helps out etc. And, in short, i feel sorry for my wee bro if im honest. Cause he has that to deal with as he is coming up through the school; he is just as smart as me but my exam results will always be compared to his - he will always be compared to me at the school purely because I have been such a big part of it - I am the head boy of my school which i think is the same as the valedictorian(not entirely sure on that one). So, perhaps your brother was in a similar situation. I know you aren't asking for help; but maybe talking to him about it - looking at it from his point of view - might help you understand why he did what he did. If you can talk to him, reconcile with him and come out united. Yes, people make mistakes and things happen but look at it this way; he has been caught at a young age with pot - that means you can step in now and exert a positive influence over him to steer him away from that for good. Would you rather that he hadnt been caught and your reputation remained intact and then 5-10-15 years down the line have him die from a drugs overdose or get into serious trouble with drug dealers or something terrible like that. Because if that was what happened then I can guarantee you that you would want to trade everything in the world to go back and stop him when he was young/just started doing pot.

[AutumnDae]

Forum descriptions help!

Why thank you. :P

[MadManWithaBox]

What's a bowl?

[Rutherford The Brave]

What's a bowl?

Sarcasm?

Its pipe, generally a small one.

[Fact]

if you enjoy being the good child - continue to be good by helping your brother.
if you're worried about reputation, which you shouldn't be, then being seen to be helping your brother who's caught up in drugs would make you seem like a better person.
not sure if this has been said already - i didn't read everyones responses after the first page.
hope this helps!

[Trevoooor]

Don't worry about reputation. If anyone tries to bring you into this, just tell them that you're not your brother, and you know he fucked up. Try not to focus on it, and just go about your daily life as if it never happened.

[Theatheist of doom]

I don't think anyone will judge you except morons who hate you anyway and only make fun of you for having a marijuana smoking brother because they hated you anyway. It's not like your the one who was caught with drugs.

[CaseyS7onner]

I was always the good child and my brother the bad. :D Everything it was done, my parrent thought he has done it. :D

[Nihilus]

5 days suspended for that? Damn, my brother got expelled for bringing a stun gun to school. He didn't even use it.