Drowning

[Asylum]

I feel like i'm drowning I can't stand up... i can't hold onto anything.. i feel like i'm going to give up and self harm tonight.. i've gone two days without it.. and i can't be emotionally stable ithout cutting. i know it makes no sense... i know i'm crazy.. i dont care anymore.. i just need to feel sane, stabile. Self medicated and real agan. i'm sorry for this waste of post... i really am, but i needed to talk about my feeligns iwth someone because i'm sick of being alone... I'm soooo anxious,... however i'm afraid i'll go too deep, so i'm trying not to, because i don't want a hospital visit. a few days ago i was going to grab a steak knive.. i was angry and depressed, i was going to go deeper then ever before, luckily i talked myself out of it.. Songul calm down.. if you do this you'll be in the hospital.. and life will suck worse.. my mom and i got into a fight this morning i was three minutes exactly late in the car.. 3 minutes.. usually i'm five. we arrived in time the bus didn't leave for 7 minutes it wasn't rush or anyting.. however she screamed, cursed and hit me in the head... :'( i can't take this anymore. then i come home she screams at me for not doing projects not due until the end of the year, that i've accomplised more on then anyone else, and just a whole bunch of other things.. i'm a mess right now and soon she'll be talking away all devices of communication seperating my friends from me, which means... no distractions... no way to avoid cutting.. i'll get flashbacks from past abse... (usuallly what happnes) and my anxiety willl worsen in a fast rapid rate. i've got a wonderful night ahead of me... NOT!! School tomorrow will suck, i'll be alone again... i hate myself.. i'm a mess. i'm a failure who can do nothing right... i can never please my parents...

[welcome_to_chaos]

keep holding on..were here for u through it. even if u do fall. its ok. were here for u. and through everything u might go through just know that were here for u through everything :)
if u ever need anything just pm me k?

[Asylum]

thank you Ray that truely means alot to me :)

[welcome_to_chaos]

your very welcome :) i care about everyone here on vt and i try to help suprot them in anything there struggling in..specially people who i relate too

[Abdus Salaam]

Don't hate yourself my love, I'm here for you. You are not a failure at all. You may be alone during the school day, which I am terribly sorry for :'( .. You will never be alone as long as I'm alive, and you certainly are not crazy. Hang in there my dear. You can call me whenever you need to; the time of day doesn't matter. If you need to talk, you need to talk, and that's that :)

[enjoying_my_insanity]

im very sorry you had a bad day :( just be strong and think of how much you DONT wanna go to the hospital and how you dont want people asking about the cuts. if you ever need to talk to me email or pm me ill help you through this hun :hug:

[Asylum]

I can't help hating myself.. i'm repulsive... Thank you for being here for me. Oh.. but I am a failure.. I'm not going to succeed in life at all.. there's nothing i've done.. i feel alone, like people hate me... and are out to get me. I don't beleive that you are of course. but stilll.. my life is a living hell.. i can't stand my insanity. I can't stand this anxiety!! I can'tstand how I look or how I feel.. or anything... :( Honey.. my mother called me insane today... she's called me that multiple times.. she's threatened to send me to a mental hospital... my thoughts, the way I am, i'm crazy.... :'( no wonder i have no friends.. and people don't like me... i'm trying to hang in here... but it's hard when i'm already falling. thank you hun <3

Sandy- very true thank you hun.

[Syvelocin]

I like you, though :)
There's a difference between you and a real insane person. You, you have anxiety and psychiatric problems. An insane person? In a high-security asylum or prison, murderer of the sorts. I don't see an insane person when I look at you (or rather, read your posts).
You're GORGEOUS. Smart, kind, successful. I know how it is to be that worried. But, if I can make something of myself, you can :) It's amazing how far I've come in the past three years. Back then, you probably wouldn't even think that I would finish high school. I'm a college student now. If I can do something with myself, you certainly can and will.

You just have to hold on. That's the key. Just a little bit longer, bear it. You'll get there.