I can't stop.

[Brittany123]

In my life I cut for a lot of reasons, I can't seem to stop. My life has always been a mess. My parents don't care about me, I was always bullied. the bullying has stopped now that I've been in highschool (except for the odd mean note or comment) but I still feel worthless. When I was bullied it had gotten to the point where people told me I should kill myself. For a long time I thought all of those comments were true. By the middle of 7th grade I was writing it on my skin in marker. Near the beginning of 8th grade (I was now being homeschooled because I attempted suicide) I started to cut the words into my skin. Now I am in 10th grade for a while during grade 9 and during the summer I stopped cutting because I was happy. I was in love I still felt like my parents don't care and hate me (I was in love with a girl and my parents are homophobic) But I was happy. My girlfriend eventually dumped me, I believe because of my looks (I'm a bit over-weight). I'm back in my slump but it's worse. Now I just cut to feel pain, to know I'm alive.

I need help, how do I stop cutting?

P.S. my parents have known about my cutting in the past but ignored it:mad:. I cut on my legs. 3 friends know about it, they don't help at all.

[Painted_Indian_Horse]

welcome to VT :)

i have been in a similar situation, so know that you're not the only one. high school definitely is easier to handle.
i don't think your parents truly don't care about you. i think they do, on some level. they are probably upset that you are partaking in behaviors such as cutting and don't know how to handle it. i know, the first time my mom found out, it was like talking to a brick wall. after a little bit of time, it became easier to talk about and confront the issue. i do not know your situation, but this seems like a plausible excuse.
as for the cutting, please try to stop. it may not upset your parents or your friends, but it upsets me. i think you're worth too much for that. just think, when you're successful and awesome, all of these people who look down on you now will have to look UP.
yes, the right now, the current moment, is tough. it seems like there's nothing to look forward to or no one to run to, but that's just right now. just pull through, okay? it'll all be okay in the end; if it's not okay, then it's not the end. :hug:

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

First off, I can relate to you almost 100%. So I totally know where ur comming from. U are certainly not worthless! I know how much it sucks when ur parents dont care, and even more so when they arent excepting of the kind of person u are. My parents are both abusive and homophobic. Maybe ur just misreading the situation though, they could just be upset with what ur doing and not know how to handle it. Love knows no gender, so f*ck narrowminded ass*oles. Secondly, U shouldnt ever let any Jerkoff tell u ur less then a beautiful importent human being that has just as much value and meaning as the next person, Bullies are weak,insecure pricks who have to make themselves feel better by putting down others, so if anything pity them. Thirdly, when uve been triggered try snapping a band againest ur wrist, holding a icecube, or biting into ginger root. U could always tell someone u love and trust. Sometimes people dont know what to do in situations like this Im sure ur friends care But maybe tell a counselor or something? Asking for help is the first step. Im proud of u ^^. If u ever need anything feel free to contact me.

[Weeping]

Just.. PM me or smt if you want to.. Can relate to like.. a lot of this.. >_<

[Brittany123]

Thanks everyone, I'm trying my best to stop but I kow it will be hard. But, it doesn't help my friend is telling me a lot of stuff and saying she's suicidal. It's day 4 without cutting though :)

[Mike321]

Well done on the 4 days, hopefully your still going and havent cut since you posted.
As for you friend, maybe tell her that you will be there for her and to support her through it, and that suicide is never worth it.
Good luck

[Brittany123]

Okay so throughout the time that I haven't been on a lot of crap has happened, I don't know if I will cut again but it's been almost a month. I still cry when I see the scars but I can handle it. I'm in the new positive spaces (an LGBTQ group) at school and am one of the main people. I feel accepted and my parents are starting to care more. My dad said he was just happy that I'm still alive because I did attempt suicide. Me and my ex did get back together for a time but, now I know that she was just a bitch who wants affection (through her trying to convince me that she should date me and 4 other people at the same time) So whatever. I'm not talking to her anymore and me and one of my friends may start dating sometime. I have to admit it's been hard but I know I can get through it.

[Mike321]

A month is really good, well done, thats something to be proud of
I'm glad to hear things are starting to look up for you, and nothing in life is ever easy, but its good to know you are determind to get through it
Good luck and keep going :)