Monster (I would like some tips to improve my poems/songs)

[The Joker]

Are you the monster or the victim?
Or are you nothing special?
Because you're gentle
They use you abuse you and then try to booze you

Maybe you're the innocent one
But we've all got that secret gun
Trying to form yourself
Before they break the mould
Before they break the mould

Tick tick boom
Why do you even bother?
Working yourself into bloom
Your perception invented by the imperfect father

[Perseus]

That made me feel like there was no ending; just an abrupt stop.

[Spreadingwings]

feel when you are your writing & read to make sure what you're saying sounds right thats all.

[Spreadingwings]

this one was good though, sad but good. Although I do agree with Perseus about the ending.

[Syvelocin]

Loved it.

My only recommendation is to not let rhymes restrict you. I do both rhyming and free-form, and I usually choose one to accommodate the theme I'm trying to put out there. If it's a raw poem, I usually let the words flow freely without having to stop every minute to look up what rhymes I could include. If it's a pretty piece that I want to be impressive, I use structure.