Depressed, suicidal... it's all happening again.

[laurita_21]

Im suicidal again, I know what I can do to myself and I will have the guts to do it some day. This would be my sixth attempt. Why can't I just die?

People say it will get better, everyone has been saying that for years, and nothing. There are some good things in my life but most of it is just shit, absolotely nothing worth living for. The only reason is my friend I guess, not even friends anymore. Just one friend.
Also my boyfriend, he means too much but I even get depressed thinking about how I can't be with him. I don't even get why he's with me. Im a mess, im a liar, a whiny little girl who can't do anything right.

Plus my family, their just never there. My dad, he doesn't care, he's never cared. My mum hates me. My sister just makes everything harder, she does everything right and she's just perfect. I like her but everyone expects me to be just like her, I can't do that. They just don't understand that I can't.
Bullies, they won't leave me alone... I am overly sensitive and really easily hurt, Im an easy target, I can't stand up for myself sometimes so I don't bother, it hurts, really bad eventhough it doesn't show.

There is so much more to add to that list but I really don't see the point of writing that, not many people would bother reading something that long anyway.

There was no point in this I just wanted some comfort, sorry if I wasted your time...

[Fiction]

You didn't waste my time.
I know how you feel, but there is always a future that's worth living for. Even if things are shit now they can get batter. I know you say people have been telling you that for years but in that time have things really changed in your life? I guess they haven't. In a few years you'll be leaving home, and then it'll change alot. Most likely for the better.
Sometimes parents put across that they hate you, or don't care, but really they do. They just feel as though they don't know what they can do to help you. Or they don't even realise something is wrong. There are so mnay possibilities, don't assume they don't care.
You can always edit your post and add more, it might help to vent it. I promise i'll read it.
You cam pm or vm me anytime you want to talk :)

[PJay]

Wow I am really sad to read this, and you were still able to say nice things in my thread just earlier. If you can do that for a stranger it makes me think you'd leave a big hole in peoples lives who know you.
Sounds like the problem isn't you but (some of) the people around you. I can only imagine how hard it must be not to have your parents on your side. But you have a bf which is better than a lot of people manage (me for eg) so the fact you dont understand why he loves you is not really important because obviously you are loveable and have good qualities. If some people you want to love you dont seem to, thats their loss.
You've lost friends and so have i. I figure it isn't really a loss in my case, they just couldn't deal with who i am, so f**ck them. A lot of people have lots of 'friends' who are really just people they know a bit. I'd rather have a few close friends any day and i've made more better friends since then.
Thats all i can say, but i hope it helps.