I'm not even sure...

[darth alex]

I used to just cut for haemotalagnia (bloodlust). I won't bother explaining that, cuz either you appreciate it and understand why it's so beautiful, or you wouldn't understand if i, or anyone, tried. But then, about half a year later, i got depression pretty bad (again, i won't bore anyone with details). Now, i might be crying and reach for the glass, and i just don't know if it's for depression, haemotalagnia, or just because i'm used to it and like it, and i keep wanting to go really deep, but whenever i get the urge, i'll be in a class or in the living room surrounded with people and i never get the chance. I haven't tasted my blood in more than large drops for weeks, and i have anger bouts toward myself whenever i'm stuck without it...any advice on any of that, please...? :S

[georgiamay]

Ok, first of all, cutting is an addiction, whether you want it for the blood, or the pain.

I'm guessing by the fact that you've posted here asking for advice that you want to stop, right? Well, the best thing to do is to tell someone. Say to someone that you've been cutting yourself, and that you think you need help so you can stop. I'm sure your family will help you. Also, try distracting yourself whenever you feel like you want to cut in any way you can. Go for a run, write down how you feel, or snap an elastic band agaisnt your wrist if it's the pain you want at that moment.

Also, everyone here is willing to help you. People on this forum know what you're going through, and we've all been there before ourselves, so posting in here would be a good idea to get things out.

You can PM me anytime if you ever need someone to talk to :hug:

Take care.

[Fiction]

As Georgia said, cutting is an addiction and many people who cut, including myself, enjoy the blood. Maybe because you have always enjoyed cutting, when you are upset or depressed you naturally try to find something to cope, so you choose what you have always done to enjoy yourself.

[darth alex]

Thanks for the advice, but i don't really want to stop, i just don't want to do it for the wrong reasons, i.e. because i'm upset :) it just doesn't seem right. Also, i wanted to know if there was some way i could distract myself when i crave blood in inappropriate places, because it can get really horrible sometimes :S

[georgiamay]

Well, first of all, you could get involved in whatever situation you're in. Like if you're with a group of people and you have a craving, then jump into the conversation and be as lively as you can. Or do something creative, or maybe just make yourself busy.
Find some stuff to do, and just do it until the urges go.

By the way, I know you might say you don't want to stop, but I strongly recommend that you do. You might one day get carried away and cut too deep, and end up in hospital or something, or even worse. I know it seems like you can't live without it, but whatever reason you have for cutting, you can live without it. Maybe get some help. See a councellor maybe, because cutting is dangerous, and can have VERY nasty consequences.

[darth alex]

Thanks for the advice, i'll try that :)

My friend made me get a councillor for a few weeks, and it did absolutely nothing for me...we just sat there and talked about how miserable i was/am :S not helpful at all.

Also, i know i COULD live without it, i just don't want to. It's something i enjoy that is special to me, and i dont want to live without it; it's just one less thing to do