Panic Attack today :(

[Art_dude]

Well... where do I even start? I'm usually the one helping out in these threads.. not the one asking for some.

This morning I woke up and had a panic attack. I don't know how to describe it, but I initially woke up dissociated and out of touch with reality. I felt like I was experiencing an intense solipsistic paranoia.. I didn't know if my reality was real. my sensory perception was crazy sensitive. My mom was out as usual, and after going downstairs and trying to figure out what was going on I felt an incredible feeling of loneliness... I looked out the window to see if anyone was there and no one wasn't... I was COMPLETELY paranoid. Up was down and down was up. I called my mom, asking where she was, begging her to come home, I was in complete hysterics crying and shaking. I was hyperventilating, and my heart was racing. I felt like I was going to throw up and die....

My mom called my pediatrician who told us to go to the ER. By that time I had managed to calm down some and they took my blood for testing. They ran a ton of tests and I turned out to be biologically fine. Two people from the psychiatric department came down and evaluated me. Turns out I was fine and probably had a panic attack... they were able to discharge me and set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for some time next week.

I'm so embarrassed by what happened... my mom was so patient throughout the day and I feel awful for putting her through this. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but feel awful for interrupting her entire day. All of the staff at the hospital were so nice and understanding, so everything went really well, it's just... I don't know.. I guess I just feel embarrassed and Im still concerned if I have another episode... :(

[DarkHorses]

Hey Alex :)

I'm really sorry this happened. =/ I can see why you would be embarrassed and feel kind of guilty because of your mom. But none of this was in your control, and it's far from your fault. You were the victim in this situation. You couldn't have caused or prevented this from happening. And I'm sure that your mom realizes and understands this, and isn't angry with you or upset whatsoever. She's your mom, she's meant to help and be there for you in these situations.

As for feeling embarrassed, the people at the hospital see this kind of thing a lot. In fact, I'm sure they see people who have a lot more to be embarrassed about. It probably wasn't a big deal to them, and more than likely you're just another patient they saw who ended up being fine. So I wouldn't worry about that at all.

Unfortunately we all have something like this that we have to deal with, and it's difficult sometimes. But luckily everything ended up being fine, and you got through it. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty. You couldn't help it.

[PJay]

Sounds very frightening. I've kind of felt like that when I've had a temperature and had some freaky dreams and i wasn't sure if i was awake or not, and i've heard thats because you can get into a state of consciousness (eg like hypnotism) where bits of your brain aren't working and others are going overtime or something. So not a lot you can do about that really as you said, and i'm sure it will be a relief when you understand what it was all about.
I'm going to have to google solipsistic paranoia now lol.

[Art_dude]

Thanks Amanda :whoops:

Yea my mom was soo helpful and was constantly reassuring me everything was fine, as did the hospital people. I think I've managed to get rid of the guilt, it's just the embarrassment is still a little present - I know there's nothing to be embarrassed about but I guess it's just my natural tendency in these situations :/ My real issue I guess is the fear of having one happen again... the nurses were saying it was bizarre since I've never had one before, but that it could very possibly be the first and last one I have. But that it's very possible I could have another episode... idk.... I just need to chill out xD But thanks hun :whoops: you've helped so much!

EDIT: thanks you too pjay1. It was a relief to finally snap out of it.

[Fruit_Tart.]

i've had one of these. it's not at all pleasant. the cause of mine is all the anger or sadness that builds up because i don't show much of it. i'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. i hope that it doesn't ever happen to you again and i wish you the best of luck of fixing this.

[Scarface]

:hug3:

You sure had a stressful day. You went through a lot and it's scary to be that paranoid. To feel that way. Like you're helpless and alone. Everything that was once rational is irrational. Just feels awful and I'm really sorry you had to experience that. The good thing is, is that you're okay and you were discharged. Do you think anything may have triggered this?

At least your mother was there for you. Don't feel bad for her, she is your mother she is blood and she will be there for you regardless. She was probably very concerned, but she isn't disappointed in you and you shouldn't be disappointed in yourself. No in the slightest. It was a serious situation and you needed some assistance. It's perfectly okay, but never blame yourself because your family is always going to be there for you.

The psychiatrist is going to help you. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help because everyone needs a helping hand sometime Alex, this time is was you, and you're going to be okay. I know this was a terrifying experience, but you can work through it because you have a support system here as well as with your mother. So you're never truly alone okay?

I'm always here to help whenever you need it. PM/VM me anytime. Don't feel scared because you're never alone. You can work through this. :hug3:

[[[chickaroo92]]]

Hey Alex,
I know this is kind of a late response, but better late than never.

Anyway, everyone experiences these panic attacks sometime in their lives. It isn't your fault at all. Generally they can be caused by stress or random crap one has gone through lately. The most important thing is that you are healthy and in control, and thank God nothing major happened from this.

Like everyone said before, don't feel embarrassed. Everyone who works at the hospital are used to having these types of situations; and know exactly what to do. Heck, there are far worse problems then a panic attack, but still, don't ever feel embarrassed around people who are there to care you, or love you so much.

With your mom, if she really had a problem, she'd say "screw it, I'm not coming. Grow up Alexander!" But she didn't instead she dropped everything and helped you. So you shouldn't feel bad.

Remember, we all care about you, so if you need to talk, etc. You know where to find us :) I hope things turn out better.