SadlyMistaken
September 29th, 2010, 12:03 AM
I am in a bit of an emotional bind at the moment, and when I get to this point, I usually tend to have suicidal thoughts.
I recently turned twenty years old. I have been verbally abused by my mother since I was sixteen. I live with her, but this is not due to choice. I have no other place to go, and I am currently unemployed due to the fact that my last employer up and fired me in July. My fiance may have found us a place to live, so I may be out of this situation very soon, but I don't know if I can gather up the strength to wait even that long.
I also have a one year old son, and she calls me these things in front of him; She even swears violently in front of him.
I don't know what triggers her to do it, but she is constantly calling me and my fourteen year old sister "bitches". She tells me I am a cruel, basically no good mother and constantly threatens to call child protective services on me. I am so scared she is going to end up doing it one day and they are going to take him away from me. I could not live without my son. He is my life. This type of thing happens every day, and I really feel as if all she wants for me is to be unhappy. Before my fiance and I got engaged, she used to tell me I was a slut and a whore. She also used to tell me that I was just a piece of ass to him...
I feel so worthless, unloved, like my life really isn't worth living. I feel that if I were dead, maybe she would be happy. I know it may sound selfish of me, but when you are constantly degraded, well, it is hard not to feel this way. I really don't know anymore. I just wish I had a job and a car, I need a way out.
It's hard living with an abusive person, and for years I thought that this was normal until I realized that none of my friends' mothers treated them like this growing up. I don't know what to do. There has to be a way out of this situation.
I recently turned twenty years old. I have been verbally abused by my mother since I was sixteen. I live with her, but this is not due to choice. I have no other place to go, and I am currently unemployed due to the fact that my last employer up and fired me in July. My fiance may have found us a place to live, so I may be out of this situation very soon, but I don't know if I can gather up the strength to wait even that long.
I also have a one year old son, and she calls me these things in front of him; She even swears violently in front of him.
I don't know what triggers her to do it, but she is constantly calling me and my fourteen year old sister "bitches". She tells me I am a cruel, basically no good mother and constantly threatens to call child protective services on me. I am so scared she is going to end up doing it one day and they are going to take him away from me. I could not live without my son. He is my life. This type of thing happens every day, and I really feel as if all she wants for me is to be unhappy. Before my fiance and I got engaged, she used to tell me I was a slut and a whore. She also used to tell me that I was just a piece of ass to him...
I feel so worthless, unloved, like my life really isn't worth living. I feel that if I were dead, maybe she would be happy. I know it may sound selfish of me, but when you are constantly degraded, well, it is hard not to feel this way. I really don't know anymore. I just wish I had a job and a car, I need a way out.
It's hard living with an abusive person, and for years I thought that this was normal until I realized that none of my friends' mothers treated them like this growing up. I don't know what to do. There has to be a way out of this situation.