I miss the days when I wasn't judged

[Alyssia]

Everyday at lunch time my friends judge me there always saying shit like yourbjust going to have water for lunch today and it pissis me off ughhh i just want to knock them the fuck out some times because they don't know how bad I feel inside about mh body altho what other people might see I don't and that's all that matters! I realy feel alone in this world and I think that being skinny is going to change things for me maybe make me not want to hurt myself all the time!

[Rutherford The Brave]

There probably not saying it to piss you off, not that you would see it because your acting stubborn. They are probably doing it because they are worried and care for you.

[Asylum]

Gregory is right. They aren't doing it to piss you off. They are worried about you. They care enough to ask why your not eating. "Normal" people eat lunch... when smeone isn't doing something "normal" they question it. You having just water bothers them because it's unhealthy and as a friend they are like... oh no.. something is wrong.. People tend not o eat when osmehting is wrong. Not always in an eating disorder sense, but it could be like i'm having a bad day i'm nto eating... or it could be an eating disorder sense. I think for you it is an eating disorder thing by what you have said it has to do with your image. However... note this... not eating will make you gain twice as much when you recover. I know this.. This is because when your body thinks it's starving itself, it will hold onto anything you give it, and turn it into fat so that it can eat that when its hungry and not your organs. Not to mention hair loss for malnutrition. When my eating disorder got really bad, i lost a lot of hair... it wasn't good. You may think... well it's only to drop a few pounds.. yes it will be at first, then you'll obsess over it. Every day having to weigh yourself multiple times then gettign upset because you were so hungry and you felt like you were going to pass out or get sick from hunger you ate, and you gained .25 of a pound. So out of frustration you end up taking out on yourself. Now... i'm not trying to scare you, and i apologize if i am. I'm just being real with you. I have stomach ulcers which hurt constantly because my stomach has tried to digest itself from lack of food.. and i can't even explain to you how much those hurt :'(. Even when i am trying to eat and recover i actually feel sick because my stomach doesn't liek the food in me. I think that is also mentally though too. Being skinny... doesn't change anything. It's the truth. Because when your skinny, you won't think your skinny, you'll just want to get skinner. You could be 102 lbs, and think your 180 lbs because when you look in the mirror that's all you will see. Not eating will make you not being able to cope with things you would usually be able to. For instance i was a lot mooder when i stopped eating. Even my dad he gets angry and pissed off when he doesn't eat. So it'll make you want to hurt yourself more. Because eating disorder will make you want to be skinner and skinner, you'll never feel pretty.. which will make you feel like you'll have to self punish for perhaps eating or jsut feeling horrible about yourself. Not only that but it hurts people around you.

Now what i'd like you to do is to loook in the mirror once a day. As you look into the mirror say three positive things about your appearance. For example: "I'm having a good hair day today." I think i look cute in this shirt. My shoes complimant my outfit welll. Do this every day. It will be hard at first but you will get into the routine of doing it, and it will help you boost your confidence.

Now you want to be thinner right? Well obviously from what i stated starving or throwing up isn't a good option. But here is something that is a healthy way to a thinner you. Try exercising. I know people who eat sooooo much, like seriously a whole pizza just for dinner and they are really thin. There secret is exercise. Sit ups are a great way to a flat tummy. Also running, it burns a lot of calories. Running up and down the stairs can get you into shape. Dont' overwork yourself. It will take a little bit to see some change, but i can grantee you'll feel better after the first week of working out. You don't even have to go to the gym!! Now another way is eatin healthy. Eat a lot of fruits and veggies, drink a lot of water. Cut back on sodas and sugar. You'll definately lose eight that way. Don't skip breakfast, or any meal, ti's not healthy, and your body will hold onto it. Plus it will help you have energy you need to exercise.

Now your probably thinking... shoot!!! I've been skipping... there's no way in hell i can go back now because i don't want to gain weight or fat.. Well all i can say is you will lsoe it. Plus you won't gain that much. Just start eating small amounts and work yourself up to normal amounts to et yoru body reagusted, and you'll be fine.

Thus exercise and healhty eating will get yoru friends off your back, and you won't be hurting yourself or anybody. :) i hope this has helped.