Chivalry's role in the 21st Century

[ShyGuyInChicago]

What forms of chivalry do you think are still relevant today?
Is it still relevant today?
Are some forms of chivalry old-fashioned such as walking on the outside of a sidewalk with a woman?
Are some forms of chivalry sexist towards women and men?
Do they suggest that women are superior?
Do they suggest that women are weak and must rely on men to protect them?
Are some from of chivalry controlling and abusive?

[Asylum]

well my one friend Benjamen thought that my boyfriend was making a sexual joke towards me and he stood up for me :) There are a few people who are chilvalrous. I don't see the old- fashioned walking on the outside of the side-walk. But i see things like not kissing until marriage, no holding hands in public, that sort of stuff, i odn't know if that counts. I don't think chilvary is sexist. No they are just respecting women. I don't think it makes women look weak, i think it's actually sweet when a guy is chilvaros. I odn't think it's controlling or abusive. But from a woman's view - i am just asgood a man, and i'd rather open doors and things for myself, i can defend and suppport myself, but i think it's nice when a man is chilvarous, t just shows respect, and that he cares and wants to take care of you too.

[Jenna.]

well my one friend Benjamen thought that my boyfriend was making a sexual joke towards me and he stood up for me :) There are a few people who are chilvalrous. I don't see the old- fashioned walking on the outside of the side-walk. But i see things like not kissing until marriage, no holding hands in public, that sort of stuff, i odn't know if that counts. I don't think chilvary is sexist. No they are just respecting women. I don't think it makes women look weak, i think it's actually sweet when a guy is chilvaros. I odn't think it's controlling or abusive. But from a woman's view - i am just asgood a man, and i'd rather open doors and things for myself, i can defend and suppport myself, but i think it's nice when a man is chilvarous, t just shows respect, and that he cares and wants to take care of you too.

This. I like when guys are chivalrous, it's not being sexist it's just showing respect. It's better than a guy pushing you around and generally acting like an asshole, cause I've seen that and I don't know why girls stay with guys like that, but anyway... I personally find it sweet when guys open doors for me and I always thank them. One thing I can't stand is a girl who is so self righteous she can't even utter a measly "thanks" to a guy who waited there to help her. (Chivalry is not dead people. That's all a matter of opinion. For example, my boyfriend is chivalrous towards me and I love it. He is very traditional, not in the sense that we don't kiss and do stuff but in the sense that he believes there's only one girl for him, etc. And we want to get married so it works. :P)

[Sage]

Chivalry is a ploy by men to get laid. If it's merely respect, why do people only act chivalrous towards women? I also think it's incredibly sexist and unfair. If a girl doesn't want a guy because he won't carry her in his arms across a puddle and do oh so difficult tasks like opening doors and pulling up chairs for her, then she's a conceited blight on the gene pool. Call me crazy, but one thing I look for in women is the ability to take care of themselves. My notion of "love" does not include babysitting.

Chivalry isn't dead, but it's dying, and rightfully so. This is the 21st century, and I'd prefer to have my feet on the ground than my head in the clouds.

[steve1234]

Chivalry is a ploy by men to get laid. If it's merely respect, why do people only act chivalrous towards women? I also think it's incredibly sexist and unfair. If a girl doesn't want a guy because he won't carry her in his arms across a puddle and do oh so difficult tasks like opening doors and pulling up chairs for her, then she's a conceited blight on the gene pool. Call me crazy, but one thing I look for in women is the ability to take care of themselves. My notion of "love" does not include babysitting.

Chivalry isn't dead, but it's dying, and rightfully so. This is the 21st century, and I'd prefer to have my feet on the ground than my head in the clouds.

Fair enough, some men might act all polite to women so that they have a higher chance of getting laid. But, not all men are obsessed with getting laid. And people don't always act like this towards women, but any gender.
If a girl doesn't want a guy because he doesn't pull a chair out for her or whatever, then that is stupid, but it would be an added bonus if they are polite.
I would like a girl who is in between, is able to take care of themselves, but also doesn't mind being cared for by her boyfriend. The same goes for me, I would like to take care of myself, and also wouldn't mind being cared for by my girlfriend. Thats what relationships are about..caring for each other.

I don't think just men should be polite and courteous to just women. Women should be courteous to men (some women seem to think they dont have to be polite to men), and men should be courteous to other men, and women to other women.

I don't think the term chivalry should be around anymore, as its just about men being courteous to women. Everyone should be courteous to everyone.

[Clawhammer]

Everyone should be courteous to everyone.

This pretty much sums up my opinion.

[Jenna.]

Chivalry is a ploy by men to get laid. If it's merely respect, why do people only act chivalrous towards women? I also think it's incredibly sexist and unfair. If a girl doesn't want a guy because he won't carry her in his arms across a puddle and do oh so difficult tasks like opening doors and pulling up chairs for her, then she's a conceited blight on the gene pool. Call me crazy, but one thing I look for in women is the ability to take care of themselves. My notion of "love" does not include babysitting.

Chivalry isn't dead, but it's dying, and rightfully so. This is the 21st century, and I'd prefer to have my feet on the ground than my head in the clouds.

I just want to point out not every man is obsessed with getting laid and generalizing insults the men out there who aren't obsessive horndogs. I consider chivalry respect because women shouldn't act all high and mighty and expect chivalry from men; they should be polite to the men who act this way thus creating what's called mutual respect. But one of the definitions of chivalry (from Dictionary.com) is "courteous behavior especially towards women." That being said, I do think everyone should respect everyone, however chivalry was originally intended to be something that men practiced, and that's what I was centering my answer around. I am more than capable of taking care of myself, I'm just a sucker for a sweet, polite gentleman.

[Sage]

I just want to point out not every man is obsessed with getting laid and generalizing insults the men out there who aren't obsessive horndogs.
Today's word of the day: Hyperbole. Look into it.

[Jenna.]

Today's word of the day: Hyperbole. Look into it.

I believe you are the one who technically used a hyperbole first, by claiming that men use chivalry as a ploy to get laid, when not all of them do that. There are some true, nice guys out there. It might be hard to believe, but there are. :rolleyes: Just saying.

[Sage]

I believe you are the one who technically used a hyperbole first, by claiming that men use chivalry as a ploy to get laid, when not all of them do that.

Uh, yes? That's the exact thing that I was trying to make clear to you. When I said chivalry is just a ploy to get laid, that was hyperbole, and you responded to that post as though it were not. Some men have little interest in getting laid, in which case, it's a ploy to get emotional affection.

Which is essentially getting emotionally laid.

[Andrew0017]

As a partner in a serious relationship, I can proudly say that I always act chivalrous towards my girlfriend, and she shows me respect as well. (From a guy's perspective...chivalry is not a ploy to get laid, why would someone even suggest that. There are some men out there who actually care about things besides sex. Like me for instance.)

[Sage]

As a partner in a serious relationship
In other words: The following is strongly biased.

(From a guy's perspective...chivalry is not a ploy to get laid
From another guy's perspective (ie. myself), it is. Last I checked, neither you nor I speak for all males.

There are some men out there who actually care about things besides sex.)
See my previous post. It's a ploy for affection, be it emotional or physical.

[Andrew0017]

Acting chivalrous helped me get the girl I love. So I'm satisfied with my polite ways. I wouldn't call it being a ploy for emotional or physical affection in my case, it was simply being respectful towards her. But like you said Sage, I can't speak for all other males.

[Sage]

Acting chivalrous helped me get the girl I love.
I wouldn't call it being a ploy
A ploy is something done with a specific result or reward in mind. People just dislike the word's connotation.

[Andrew0017]

A ploy is something done with a specific result or reward in mind. People just dislike the word's connotation.

Well, in that case I suppose one would call what I did a ploy, however I was trying to avoid using that word because as you said - it is typically associated with negativity. :)

[Sage]

I was trying to avoid using that word because as you said - it is typically associated with negativity. :)

'Tis most unwise, I think, to bend the truth when the truth comes with a bitter taste. By claiming what you did was not a ploy, simply because you do not like the sound of ploy is in essence a lie, is it not?

Just some friendly debate advice.

[Andrew0017]

'Tis most unwise, I think, to bend the truth when the truth comes with a bitter taste. By claiming what you did was not a ploy, simply because you do not like the sound of ploy is in essence a lie, is it not?

Just some friendly debate advice.

Very true, I didn't think to look at it that way. Thanks for the advice.