urgh, AGAIN!?! kinda.

[georgiamay]

I'm not sure whether I need to start at day one again.
I fucking hope not. I almost fucked up again.
I had the deoderant the right distance from my skin for it to burn like hell, but pulled away at the exact moment that I sprayed, because I changed my mind, I didn't want to fuck up. Yet again.
I was just really pissed off at a stupid fight with my step mum, and, surprise surprise, it was my fault again.
It actually was though, I was rude to her, and that's how it all kicked off.

I shut myself in my room, completely incapable of crying. I had a flashback of shit happening in the past, and I started shaking.
I wanted to just let it burn me. I didn't care.
Kinda pointless, really, me posting this. Not sure why I bothered, it won't change anything.

So, would it send me back to day one or not? There's a tiny little red mark, but nothing that caused pain, I pulled away soon enough.

Pretty soon I'm going to have to slip back again.
Hopefully the karate tournament this weekend should help, punching people in the face seems very appealing to me right now.

[Fiction]

Why would you have to start again? You didn't harm yourself. You pulled away. Keep going though georgia your doing well :) And good luck with the karate tournament. :)

[myskias]

sweety listen, just because you had a little incident doesnt mean youre starting from day one or anything is ruined. your progress you have done so far is not waisted at all! you need to push past the urges to harm yourself, and look on the brighter side of life! there is so much to look for in life that you are missing out on! just relax and be proud of who you are! if you keep a positive attitude and just... simply be happy, life will be so much better! everythings going to be okay :) i know it will be! stay strong!!

[enjoying_my_insanity]

georgia you are strong for not hurting yourself and good luck at the tornament punching ppl will help you a lot itll get some anger out! best of luck sweety<3 :)

[Mike321]

You are very strong for not hurting yourself, and thats really good.
Your not back to square one by any means, keep on fighting
Enjoy your tornament the weekend, will relieve some of the stress
Good luck!

[georgiamay]

thanks guys :)
:hug: