I just don't understand.

[Seth48]

They there VT, I've had this problem for a very long time now, and I think you might be able to help.

For a while now, I've known some special people that I love. Some are around my age, and some... well, are a bit older than me, but I love them dearly. I've run into the problem that they do not live near me, and it upsets me greatly. One in particular, we will call Boyd. Boyd is someone I met on a game called "Aion" and fell deeply in love with him. So deeply that the thought of him basically consumes my life. I've done a lot for Boyd, worrying about my appearances, and once I even starved myself when I hit a wall of depression, worrying that he would think I am fat. Boyd has lifted me up and shot me down, but I love him, and from what I'm told, he loves me. Lately we started slipping away, and if that isn't upsetting enough, my other friend who is a bit older than me, (he is a friend from a game) can only think about my AV, or he feels like a pedophile. I don't blame him, but I felt horrible the other night when I tried to come onto him. Recently I just met ANOTHER guy. (we can refer to him as Em) Em is the sweetest little guy from cali, and I think hes great, but hes dating some guy, so I feel horrible about flirting with him. I love all three of these guys, they are great. The only problem is that they do not live near me, and it makes me want to seriously DIE. On top of this, my parents don't know I'm bi. This makes for a stressful situation. With the addition of two big performances coming up as well. I know I'm stressed, but I'm used to being stressed out. I'm not used to having a situation in which I'm stressed by love, and this is what is freaking me out. I want Boyd and Em so badly, but I know at this point it is pointless in my life, and I'm upset about Boyd slipping away, but I know its going to happen... I don't know whats wrong with me. I have emotional screaming fits about this stuff, and I've gotten very depressed lately. Even my ignorant parents are worried at this point.

Help if you can, it would be appreciated.

[Fiction]

There are many people who walk in and out of our lives. Some will be for the better some will be for the worse. Although you may be upset about Boyd leaving your life you have to realise that it is all a part of your life, that other people will woalk in in the future who mean just as much, maybe more. Maybe one day when your older you will be able to meet these other friends. You really just have to live for hope for the future.
Vm me if you would like to talk :)

[myskias]

Maybe what you are feeling isn't really love. have you thought of it at that standpoint? It seems as if your meaning of "love" is very vague and weak. It could be possible that you just really care for these people through other reasons.. maybe you're lonely? And so you're covering up your loneliness by "falling in in love" with multiple people at a time.

Loneliness is like a void, and what people try to do is fill that void with people that might not fit. Filling a loneliness void is hard but it cannot be done by finding someone else or falling in love. The only way to solve it is to work on it yourself and to try to stay single for a period of time and work on self development. Once you're happy and LOVE WHO YOU TRULY ARE, thats when you will experience true compassionate love.

If you need anything send me a message :)