I think that I finally understand!

[judgeofsin]

Well, I've had a crush on this girl for 2 school years. Around the time of our second year in school together, (7th grade) We began to call each other brother and sister. It was like that for awhile. During that time, I began to think of her as much more than that. We called each other brother and sister for the equivalent of 1 school year. (The second half of 7th grade plus a short amount of summer) During the summer I shared my true feelings with her. I said "I Love You". She has told me that she loved me twice and that she would go out with me twice. The only problem is that she says she thinks of me as a brother. I thought she was telling the truth. At first. Now that i've thought back on it, I think she might be lying to me. She's told me honestly that she loved and that she would go out with me. But yet, she continues to push this whole "brother" thing in my face. Every time she gets a chance, she WILL tell me that as much as she can. I think that she's just afraid that it she tells me that she feels the same way, it will change the things i've always done for her. It won't at all. I love her in every possible. She's never really had a good boyfriend before, so i think she's just afraid. What do you think? Am I right or am I wrong?

[Azunite]

Hmm
I think this girl of yours THOUGHT she loved you, though then she remembered this whole brother thing...
An advice, if you are brother-sister with a girl, don't go out with her.
I have the same situation and I am quite happy that I halted my progress when we were talking like sister-bro.
Dates come and go, but this brother and sister thing will go on maybe until the end of high school ( provided you still see each other ).
If you are dating, she shouldn't call you brother under any circumstances.
This has a low possibilty: but maybe she is implying that she doesn't want to go out anymore, by calling you bro...

Anyway, my advice: end this, if you want to be close friends in the future

[judgeofsin]

well we aren't dating and she hasn't called me her brother in a good while. during that time she openly told me how much she cares for me and how much she loves me.

[judgeofsin]

she has also told me she thinks i'm amazing and that she can trust me with ANYTHING.

[judgeofsin]

i still think this might still be a possibility.

[Azunite]

Wait wait, "We are not dating for a while" "She keeps tellin she loves me"?
by not dating you mean like you don't hang around for a while ?

[judgeofsin]

what i mean is that:
1.we are not dating right now, nor have we ever dated.
2. we can't talk in person all that often, but we talk for HOURS on facebook.
and 3. she has said all of the above things to me MANY times. she still does now.

do you understand now?

[Kahn]

Alright, I'll do it. But, can you give me some advice on how I should do it? I rarely see her at school and when I do see her, there are a lot of people around. I don't want to make her feel awkward. The only time that we talk A LOT is on Facebook. So how should I do this?

From your last thread, you should've kept that one and posted this in there.

Anyway. Did you try? If you didn't here's how you do it. When she's at her locker, see if she's alone, if she's not oh well. Walk up to her and talk to her, flirt with her. If she flirts back, try. Take the shot. If she doesn't, still try. Do it subtly though, don't walk right up and ask. If you need anything else PM me, or I'll check in on this again.

[judgeofsin]

From your last thread, you should've kept that one and posted this in there.

Anyway. Did you try? If you didn't here's how you do it. When she's at her locker, see if she's alone, if she's not oh well. Walk up to her and talk to her, flirt with her. If she flirts back, try. Take the shot. If she doesn't, still try. Do it subtly though, don't walk right up and ask. If you need anything else PM me, or I'll check in on this again.


well, we don't have lockers at my school (because of weapons) so that won't work. we can't be alone at lunch because her friends are ALWAYS around. it also seems like they don't want me to get close to her. i've always been friendly to them. i guess they don't like me? i did get to talk to her today though. we are going to plan out a day where we can go somewhere to talk, just the two of us alone. we had an argument last sunday though. she says she forgives me, but i don't forgive myself yet. that's what i wanted to talk to her about alone. but now i'm thinking about doing a bit "more" after i say i'm sorry. what do you think? should i do it?

[Kahn]

I think you should. It's a good idea. Hopefully, she will see your sorrow and she will understand how much you love her. You need to be ready for anything though, and that also means being ready for a rejection. Don't let the idea of rejection stop you though, because everyone gets rejected. It's something you need to get used to.

When something happens, no matter what, stand by her decision. Don't argue, don't fight. It's her decision. If you fight, it will ruin your relationship. I know you don't want that.

[judgeofsin]

I think you should. It's a good idea. Hopefully, she will see your sorrow and she will understand how much you love her. You need to be ready for anything though, and that also means being ready for a rejection. Don't let the idea of rejection stop you though, because everyone gets rejected. It's something you need to get used to.

When something happens, no matter what, stand by her decision. Don't argue, don't fight. It's her decision. If you fight, it will ruin your relationship. I know you don't want that.

I'm already used to rejection. It's been like that all my life to be honest. In a way, me and her share that pain. the same thing has been happening to her for a long time as well, and i've ALWAYS been there for her. the only difference is that she has had a boyfriend before. So when we do work out a day for us to be alone, if I get rejected, i'll be fine. As i've always told myself whenever I faced rejection, "Love is a game, it looks like i've lost, but now I know that my heart will defrost. I'm not gonna end here, even though i'm in strife. Because now I know, I can go on with my life." After I apologize, i'm going to try and push the door to her boundry wide open. I'm going to try and get my hand as close as possible to her's and when i say something meaningful, i will try to hold her hand. When I feel that I should, I will give her a hug. After i've said all I can say, I will say "I Love You." Only if her reaction is truly positive will I try this. I will try to kiss her. I will always be there for her, rejection or not. Do you think I should try that? Or not?

[Kahn]

I'm already used to rejection. It's been like that all my life to be honest. In a way, me and her share that pain. the same thing has been happening to her for a long time as well, and i've ALWAYS been there for her. the only difference is that she has had a boyfriend before. So when we do work out a day for us to be alone, if I get rejected, i'll be fine. As i've always told myself whenever I faced rejection, "Love is a game, it looks like i've lost, but now I know that my heart will defrost. I'm not gonna end here, even though i'm in strife. Because now I know, I can go on with my life." After I apologize, i'm going to try and push the door to her boundry wide open. I'm going to try and get my hand as close as possible to her's and when i say something meaningful, i will try to hold her hand. When I feel that I should, I will give her a hug. After i've said all I can say, I will say "I Love You." Only if her reaction is truly positive will I try this. I will try to kiss her. I will always be there for her, rejection or not. Do you think I should try that? Or not?

It sounds good, but go slow. You don't want to overwhelm her. If she does react positive, though, do it. It seems like you've had this planned, so I see no reason in me being here. I have a good feeling that you will get this girl. You just need to try.

Good luck. :yes:

[Paladino]

Dont ask her out if she sees you as a "brother" it will reuin your friendship in the long run with her.

[judgeofsin]

It sounds good, but go slow. You don't want to overwhelm her. If she does react positive, though, do it. It seems like you've had this planned, so I see no reason in me being here. I have a good feeling that you will get this girl. You just need to try.

Good luck. :yes:

I'm going to take this as slow as possible, trust me. After i've apologized, i'm going to hug her right after. When I begin to speak my feelings, I will slowly but surely ease my hand closer to her's. She probably won't expect that because she will be so focused on me and what I say. The element of surprise. If the previous things work out and her reaction to both my words and my actions are good, only then will I try to kiss her. The only question that remains is: "How should I kiss her?" Should I make it a surprise? Or should I just go for it? I've never kissed anyone before, or even come close to it. So how should I do it?

any ideas?

[Kahn]

I'm going to take this as slow as possible, trust me. After i've apologized, i'm going to hug her right after. When I begin to speak my feelings, I will slowly but surely ease my hand closer to her's. She probably won't expect that because she will be so focused on me and what I say. The element of surprise. If the previous things work out and her reaction to both my words and my actions are good, only then will I try to kiss her. The only question that remains is: "How should I kiss her?" Should I make it a surprise? Or should I just go for it? I've never kissed anyone before, or even come close to it. So how should I do it?

Just look her in the eye, and see if she feels it is right. You'll know. Trust me. Your first kiss should be special. Make it special, make it memorable.

If it doesn't feel right, or you feel uncomfortable don't go for it. Just hug her. Make the moment memorable, and make it right.

[Daniel_]

Your in what, 8th grade?

A little early to be throwing "I love you"s around, so I'd just take it easy... But just tell her to stop calling you brother, but try and be with her as much as you can and show her your NOT like a brother, and that you want to be her boyfriend.

[judgeofsin]

Just look her in the eye, and see if she feels it is right. You'll know. Trust me. Your first kiss should be special. Make it special, make it memorable.

If it doesn't feel right, or you feel uncomfortable don't go for it. Just hug her. Make the moment memorable, and make it right.

Alright. Thanks for all the help. I believe that I can do this. I believe in my heart.

[Kahn]

Alright. Thanks for all the help. I believe that I can do this. I believe in my heart.

Good luck :)

[judgeofsin]

Good luck :)

The only thing left to do now is to plan a day for just us. Until then, i'm going to do my best to make her feel special. Without over doing it. I want her to see me as a little bit more than what she does now. I still remember that she still has a crush on another guy right now and that she gets crushes easy. So with that in mind, I just have to be the best I can be for her. No guy has ever made her truly happy before. They've always hurt her in the end. I feel like I could be the guy that could make her happy. I just want her to see that and how much I care about her. I love her.

[judgeofsin]

Good luck :)

Well, she doesn't like me right now. That's not a problem. What I plan to do now is be the absolute best that a friend can be for awhile. I'll talk with her every chance I get without being clingy. I'll go places with her every chance I get. Just an all around great friend :). Months, a few years, whatever it takes. I'll act like this as long as I need to. After the accumulated time passes, I will slowly put myself back into the point I was at now. Who knows? Maybe her feelings will have changed by then :). This is my new plan and it starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.

[Kahn]

Good luck. :)

I'm happy you confronted her confident, and that she told you honestly how she feels. Just stick through it, and maybe one day she'll like you. You just got to be the best friend she can have. Don't ever put yourself down over it. You'll be able to get her, trust me.

[judgeofsin]

Good luck. :)

I'm happy you confronted her confident, and that she told you honestly how she feels. Just stick through it, and maybe one day she'll like you. You just got to be the best friend she can have. Don't ever put yourself down over it. You'll be able to get her, trust me.

You think so? She found out about my previous plan... and my friend told me she was creeped out by it. She's a very moody person so i'm not entirely sure if she really was. Is this just a bump on my road?

[judgeofsin]

I talked to her last night and I brought up the fact that getting into a relationship with a friend can be one of the best you can ever have. I also said that most people are afraid to do that because they fear that a break up might ruin their friendship. I told her that it takes a true friend (which I believe I am. do you think I am?) to be able to still be as great friends as they were before the relationship. I hope that she learned something from that.

[judgeofsin]

Well, today's my birthday. i'm really hoping that today i'll get lucky. i only asked for 1 thing on my birthday this year. for me and "her" (do you want to know her name?) to be pushed closer together in some way. i know how much she cares about me, so maybe i'll get a hug from her today. (i'm not going to ask for a hug. i would only want her to hug me out of her own free will as a person.) and if she feels like "pushing it," and i would have to be like the luckiest guy in school for this to happen but, maybe she'll hold my hand. i don't know what will happen today. i'm just going to believe in my heart and hope for the best. wish me luck! :)

[judgeofsin]

Good luck. :)

I'm happy you confronted her confident, and that she told you honestly how she feels. Just stick through it, and maybe one day she'll like you. You just got to be the best friend she can have. Don't ever put yourself down over it. You'll be able to get her, trust me.

You don't know how happy I am right now! No, weren't not going out. Yet. :) I came clean about the plan. She doesn't think any less of me at all! I also learned that since she has never lied to about literally ANYTHING, every word she's ever said to me still holds true. :) Remember when she said that she would go out with me because i'm "sweet, funny, cute, and i would never hurt her?" She told me that those words are still true. She even told me that she once had a crush on me! <3 In fact the only reason why she won't go out with me right now is because of drama. (She HATES drama) This whole thing put us both into an ocean worth of it. Middle School Drama. Two people can't have a relationship because they get watched like hawks and they get their relationship pushed forward by other people, not by the two people in the relationship. That's sounds bad for me right? You'll be happy to know that your wrong! She made me a promise last night. We both happily agree on it. We promised that in the future, when there is MUCH LESS drama, (there will always be drama. but there can always be less of it.) we'll give the two of us a chance for love. :) Until that moment, we'll just be the same as we always were. Just two amazing friends.

[Jhon]

I don't get the hole brother sister thing she might be doing that to not have to go out with you

[judgeofsin]

I don't get the hole brother sister thing she might be doing that to not have to go out with you

not at all actuallly. she doesn't play around with people's feelings. plus if she was, she would have told me.