Mirrorplay

[Cosmic]

I don't get a chance to write that much any more; so this is the first in a while. I appreciate it doesn't flow as particularly well as it should, so any suggestions that might help the piece move along would be greatly appreciated.

I realise I can be quite ambiguous and cryptic with my poetry sometimes, so the intended meaning is at the end of the poem, for those that struggled with it or simply wanted to know my take on the words.

Mirrorplay

A Mirror in front;
An attack from behind,
Your own criticism;
everyone elses' mind.

You stand up straight,
Pull in tight,
Hope melting words,
Will reforge it back right.

Try on another face,
A perspective less familiar,
Amas opinion from outside,
Show the culprit who they are.

A change from within,
The absurdity of the feud,
You'd turn on the light,
A happiness imbued.

Instead, alone,
you continue trying on faces.
Fan your file through and through,
Observe the broken, tired cases.

A love from within,
Destruction outside,
You damage those around you,
then run and hide.

Meaning: This poem largely documents an outsider perceiving a person who is destructive in the relationships they forge around them. This is a person struggling to understand why so many relationships, both romantic and familial/friendship, fall to pieces, and looks to blame it on others. The mirror image is to symbolise their detachment from responsibility, and that's furthered by the idea of "trying on faces".

Hope you enjoyed it! Any comments, criticisms, ideas or your own interpretations are very welcome!

Thanks for reading. :)

[Dorsum Oppel]

Rhyming is a cripple and shortcut to creating rhythm. Never rhyme.

[Cosmic]

Rhyming is a cripple and shortcut to creating rhythm. Never rhyme.

Rhyme is difficult to work with, no doubt, and can lower the quality of the language used if employed badly; but it is by no means a shortcut to creating rhythm (that's not possible, rhythm is a very physical attribute of writing)... and is also enjoyable to read (hence its existence in the first place). There's also plenty of close readings that have recognised rhyme as a very powerful mood setter, particularly when juxtaposing a typically "happy" rhyme scheme with darker topics.