Either Bi or Extremely Jealous...

[UkNoWn PeRsOn]

I started the second year of High School not long ago, and I have started to struggle with a difficult time.

To explain things as simple as possible, there's a guy named Daniel in our class. He is not the most popular, but he hangs with the "cool" guys in our class. He is one of those "couldn't care less"-guys. His only interest is hanging with friends. He does not do any homework, skips a few classes, and get bad grades. He goes to parties, and walks around with a "proud" history of banging a girl at a party whilst being drunk.
He is also proud of his looks. He is liked by all the girls, and has built up a personal style as a dangerous, but also pretty random guy (if someone makes him mad, just standing up scares everyone) and he has this crazy random humor that everyone laughs at.

I am kind of the opposite. I have an eye handicap (I see perfectly fine, but I'm colorblind) which has caused me to be on the other side of the popularity line. I have never even gotten the chance to go to a party and I have missed a lot of the "youth" activities. I mean, I'm 17 and I talk like an adult, using words like "whilst". I'm not a nerd, though.

Anyway, back to the topic, he has gone through life without any problems. He didn't know ANYONE in our class, and yet he has still managed to enter the cool crowd. He gets so bad grades he should've been kicked from the study line we are at, but because there was no applicant, he was lucky enough to get back in. He banged a girl at a party and instead of winding up as a father like so many couples on TV, his life just continues as normal and he seems to be a little proud of that "one-night stand". He has had plenty of girlfriends and banged a few of them. In comparison, I've never had a girlfriend.

So, a feeling recently started growing inside me that I can't quite put a finger on. I am either extremely jealous of this guy Daniel who basically has the life I never had, or I am actually in love with him (in which I will be bi, as I have a crush on a girl in my class as well).

Can someone please help me determine which it is? I'll answer any questions you might have.

P.S. I don't know exactly if this is the right place to put this, btw. I'm new

[Kaius]

It sounds to me its more jealousy than the fact you like him. Its a difficult thing to have a friend that's in with the "In" crowd when you're out standing on the side lines. Some part of you probably admires him for it, another part resents him for what you haven't got that he has. Is there any reason you feel you may like him a bit more than a friend?

[LittleMonsterMike]

that by far is the most difficult thing i've ever read on here. well first you have to decide what your feelings are,then you need to decide what your going to do about them. if you like him find out if he's interested in guys or not. If your jealous just try and move on.

[chris4]

With what you have stated: jealousy.

You never once mentioned you were attracted to him.

[UkNoWn PeRsOn]

With what you have stated: jealousy.

You never once mentioned you were attracted to him.

I must have forgotten to mention this, sorry:

What makes me wonder is the fact that I want to be around him all the time. Not kiss him or sleep with him, but just being around him. That could, if the feeling is wanting to be like him, just meaning I want to be part of the cool crowd. If I actually want to be with him, then that makes me bi. And this is the question I can't answer on my own. When we are in the same room, I look at what he wears and how we behaves; that seems like someone who wants to be like him. However, when I am not in the same room with him, I think about him. That sounds like someone who wants to be with him, but it could also be that I am considering how he would act in that situation, which would be like him. And I don't have any of the same feelings about anyone else in the cool crowd. It's only him.

Damn, this just made it harder to determine... xD

[Judas]

It sounds like jealousy. You envy the fact that he gets to be popular just because he does what he wants and thus gains popularity.

[UkNoWn PeRsOn]

OK, everyone, I figured out the answer and I... am bi. I actually do have feelings for this boy. The sad part about it isn't that I'm bi, cause I can handle that, but what makes me a little sad is the fact that he is not gay nor bi (I haven't asked him, but his Facebook profile clearly says "Straight" :/)

Any thoughts about this? I'm asking as I want to see some of your reactions towards this.

[johny88]

Firts of all be happy with your life, you never know if others really are happy.
And to answer your question: I think you are obsessed with that guy. You are not in love with him or really jealous, you just like everything about him and want to be with him/him. Obsession its a very strange feeling very difficult to explain. I think thats what you are experiebcing right now. Hope I helped you a bit.

[wtblife]

Although your situation just sounds like jealousy, I misinterpreted my feelings for guys as just admiration for a long time.

[Dalman]

I think that you are jealous / obsessed - you seem to fanticize about him and being in the cool crowd. Have you had a conversation with him. I think you over emphasize his good qualities and under emphasize your own good qualities. You said that you are not in the cool crowd because you are color blind, would it be weird if he was color blind too. Try having a normal conversation with him first - then decide how you feel.

[UkNoWn PeRsOn]

Wow, that was a lot of comments xD well, maybe you are right. I mean, I don't feel this way about other boys, so perhaps I'm mistaking my feelings :/ just feels like I'm bi since I definately feel like I wanna be with him now.

And to answer Dalman: I have regular every-day conversations with him all the time. It's just that every time he talks I get nervous about what to say and I get those classic red chins, which are (if I'm not mistaking) signs of being in-love with a person. But I'll take some time to analyze my feelings properly. I'm in puberty anyway, so I guess I don't really know my sexuality until the puberty actually ends.

[The Redlight Bandit]

jealousy