How Modest, is too Modest?

[schrei jess]

Am I too modest? I dont like talking about anything sexual, with like...anyone. When my mom tells me stuff about like her bras or whatever (she's always telling me they hurt because she wears DD!) and Im like, "Mom, please stop" and she says "You act like we arent the same gender!". Is it bad that I cant stand to talk about any of that with anyone? I hated having the sex talk with my mom, I always felt like I was too young, I had it in 5th grade and they had a class on it at school.

I dont like my mom talking about underwear and junk in front of my dad or anyone else, and I hate having to tell my dad Im on my period but he knows when I am and asks me if I am. I just hate having to deal with all that.

If I ever had like a sexual problem, Im not sure I could tell anyone, Id be too modest or scared. I dont think I could even tell a doctor, and Im absolutely scared to death of the day I have to see a gynocologist. I cant even imagine what they have to do, Ill be really uncomfortable. What do I do about all of this?!

[BillyWitchDoctor.com]

well, im a guy and i can reasonibly see how u'd be afraid to see a gynacologist, id be fucking nervous too. im alot like this, but im comfortable talking about sexrelated stuff in situations like health class, or with my friends, with them ill say anytyhing. but i do hate it when my mom is like "i dont want you learning about sex through porn, sex is a beutiful thing" i hate it when she goes on about that stuff. its normal to be scared to talk about sexrelated things and ur body together, but i think you need to "bight the lip" a little more because if something is oging on that you think is wrong, then you need to be able to pull through at get help from a doctor. its hard, i know from experience, but it's necesary for your health and you need to put it before your nervousness

[schrei jess]

Uhm, what? That's kind of an odd question.

[Bobby]

Jessika it's just a spammer... ignore it.

[mRojas2000]

Another spammer...

I'm just like you jess... but with my family specially... I don't mind talking with my friends about sex, (even if we don't much) but we always get a laugh outta it, and stuff... to me, when my dad was talking with me about pornography, masturbation, condoms, how to put them and stuff (as a sex ed class, not like a normal day topic) I would start laughing for some reason, and when he asked I would say "its the cold, don't worry"... I just felt uncoftarble talking with him about it, for some reason...

Don't worry, you'll be fine!!

Miguel :)

[schrei jess]

Thanks miguel, but I cant really talk about it with anyone. Im so embarrased and modest that I cant even say the proper names for things!!

And spammer, go away please, Im looking for real help -_-

[mRojas2000]

Even if its with family, or friends I think it should be almost the same... if you dont like talking about it, just don't and eather go away of the convo, if they are inviting you to talk, or ask your oppinion, or just shut up, and say you don't wanna talk, and listen if you want...

Thing is, just don't do it if you don't want to...

[0=]

It might help for you to sit down and familiarize yourself with your body and become more comfortable with it before you're comfortable talking to others about it. Just take some time to take a look at yourself in a mirror, say the names of all your body parts out loud, then when you feel comfortable doing this maybe you could try talking to your mom about any problems or w/e, ask her what it was like when she went through puberty. Eventually you'll be more comfortable with your body and sexuality and learn to like it. I wasn't very comfortable with my body, but now I go nude much of the time, and I talk to people about sexuality on vt, and learning to accept their bodies and who they are.

[schrei jess]

I could never do that, never ever. I dont like to look at myself at all. See my problem?

[Elscire]

why? you look very attactive so why not?

[iluvlamp1414]

yea... you look like a pretty girl to me. :)

[schrei jess]

Well, thanks, but he said like look at myself naked (if I read that correctly), that I couldnt do.

[0=]

What don't you like about your body?

[schrei jess]

Everything, i cant think of one thing I like...

[0=]

I think that's sad, start by looking at your hands and feet, work your way to your face, try to see how pretty you are.

[Aηdy]

Everything, i cant think of one thing I like...
You should consider yourself lucky, some girls are fat and ugly, your the total opposite of both!! :D your not fat and your very pretty.

[DouggyO.o]

You should consider yourself lucky, some girls are fat and ugly, your the total opposite of both!! :D your not fat and your very pretty.


word to that lol, but seriously dont be ashamed of who you are

[~Ðarç~]

some girls would love to look like you :D (a bit late, but i saw your pic in your old sig)
you should be happy about what you look like

[kurlyopapa]

Am I too modest? I dont like talking about anything sexual, with like...anyone. When my mom tells me stuff about like her bras or whatever (she's always telling me they hurt because she wears DD!) and Im like, "Mom, please stop" and she says "You act like we arent the same gender!". Is it bad that I cant stand to talk about any of that with anyone? I hated having the sex talk with my mom, I always felt like I was too young, I had it in 5th grade and they had a class on it at school.

I dont like my mom talking about underwear and junk in front of my dad or anyone else, and I hate having to tell my dad Im on my period but he knows when I am and asks me if I am. I just hate having to deal with all that.

If I ever had like a sexual problem, Im not sure I could tell anyone, Id be too modest or scared. I dont think I could even tell a doctor, and Im absolutely scared to death of the day I have to see a gynocologist. I cant even imagine what they have to do, Ill be really uncomfortable. What do I do about all of this?!

i have the same feelings wen my mom talks 2 me about the same stuff. She told me about a gynecologists she says its nothin but i don't know . i hate it when i have to get a physical b/c the doctor always looks down there and i just don't like him touching me.

[Barelythere]

i have the same feelings wen my mom talks 2 me about the same stuff. She told me about a gynecologists she says its nothin but i don't know . i hate it when i have to get a physical b/c the doctor always looks down there and i just don't like him touching me.


the gynecologists arent that bad, just think of it this way, they see loads of girls down there everyday, they will not remeber yours, and if your unconfortable with a guy just ask for a female doctor or nurse, they wnt b affended they uderstand, its better to go threw feeling unconfortable for 10/15 mins that to get something worng with you and end up ill or infeertile!!!
hope that helps a lil cya hun xoxo

[smart0ne05]

you seem to be able to give everyone else advice maybe you should take some of your own im not meaning that mean either you seem to have the answer your just not sure yet if your right lol i hope LL WORKS OUT WELL

[Andy J]

Just know that you have every right to be as modest as you are. Everyone is different and ther is nothing wrong with you. I am exactly the same way.

As far as gynocologists and other doctors go, first, you can say "NO" to these violating exams! You don't have to do anything, especially go to the gynocologist or have any exam between your legs. If you are having symptoms between your legs then, fine go, otherwise don't if you're not comfortable.

I would suggest you go to the blog below. Grown up women are posting their experiences and some of the posts have links to good articles with a lot of good information/facts. Educating yourself will empower you to have control over your own body.

http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/unnecessary-pap-smears/

read the blog and tell your girl friends about the blog...FYI - You are way too young to be having these exams anyway...even 21 is too young. Not only are you too young but cervical cancer is very rare (only 1% of very sexually active women will get it). Virgins can not get it since it is a sexually transmitted virus and the rest have less than 1% chance of getting it. Papsmears are also unreliable because they produce a lot of false positive
results which then leads to tests where they take a piece of your cervix out, causing women physical damage and emotional trauma.

Do NOT be talked into (which is a form of force) having genital exams as part of your annual physical, pap smears, or pelvic exams if you are not sexually active, or not having symptoms down there, or are not comfortable having someone remove your underwear, spreading your legs open, and having fingers and metal instruments shoved up your vagina and rectum.

Doctors are not gods...you will not get struck down by lightning if you say "NO" to these exams. It's your body, not the doctor's or
nurse's body so the fact "they see it all the time" means sh!t. Their point of view means nothing! You can say "NO' to the doctor or nurse when it comes to genital exams, pap smears, and pelvic exams (even as a kid).

Girls in our country are brainwashed into thinking that having these violating and humiliating exams is part of being female and you'll just have to live with it, but that is a lie. Many women do not have these exams because they are not sick in that part of their body and because the exams are so violating. If they do have a problem down there, then they go to the doctor.

I pretty much told any doctors I have seen to F'off...that I do not allow doctors to examine my privates. I don't allow them to remove
my underwear, actually I refuse to undress below shorts since the only reason they would want me down to my underwear is easier access
to my private parts which I won't allow...period! My a'hole doctor actually lied to me saying that I wouldn't be allowed in high school
without a genital exam. So I told him "I guess I won't be going to high school then!". Well, guess what, I'm in high school without the
exam, though I was perfectly ready not to go to high school if it came to that because I refuse to be forced into that kind of exam.
So Expect that doctors will try to scare or bully you into these exams, but know that they won't and can't force you into these type
of exams.

Question the system and fight back for your bodily rights!

[Aspiringanonymous]

Please do not bump old threads. :locked: