Increasing number of lonely people?

[steve1234]

Do you think there are an increasing number of 'lonely' people?

I did have a more lengthy post, but I deleted it, before I saw the great reply from Captor K.

[The Dark Lord]

Why is this post in ROTW?

[steve1234]

Why is this post in ROTW?

Sorry, wasn't really sure where to put it.

[Captor K]

I think technology has had an even bigger impact. People aren't as social as they once were. If two people are sitting on a bench at a bus stop, waiting for their ride, it's more likely that one or both of them will be involved with their little gadgets (phones, laptops, whatever). They might greet each other, and usually it won't too go too far past that. Why talk to the random mofo beside you when you can text your buddy who's only ten minutes away?

I was slow to the cell phone world, mainly because I didn't give two shits about them. I hate talking on the phone, so I deliberately turned them down time after time. Now I have one mainly because it's convenient, but for me, words on a screen, or a "disembodied" voice on the other end doesn't beat talking to someone in person. A few weeks ago, in college, I and some people were all sort of grouped together. I looked around and saw that almost all of them were off into their cell phones. Conversation among us was practically non-existent. Why was that?

It seems interpersonal communication/socializing is taking a slow death. Most teenagers don't always directly address an issue they have with someone these days; they don't to often bother talking to someone (be it the person they have an issue with, or a friend, etc), and they find comfort in their computers (or the internet), video games, phones, and God knows whatever else. People aren't being challenged to know how to deal with uncomfortable situations. It's not very healthy, in my opinion, because they [we] aren't learning how to express ourselves verbally to others; it seems to be on the decline (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20060703/ai_n16512921/). I laugh sadly whenever I see a seven-year-old walking around engrossed in a cell phone.

Call me old school, but although I don't mind instant messaging and texting and all that jazz, I still heavily prefer talking to people face-to-face rather than on a screen. I love all the quirks and kinks that come with the people that I know, and those that I don't. I love how my best friend tilts his head back and throws up his hand when he does a slightly pitched belly laugh. On the screen, all I'll get is an "Lmao." It's just not the same.

Oddly enough, folks have told me that I am very much a people person. This is ironic to me because I am still relatively shy and often very quiet, though not as much as I used to be. I love my space, and I love being alone. I'm very much introverted, but I guess when I interact with others, I come off as extroverted. Then again, I tend to be a little bold and crazy sometimes, so maybe that doesn't help my case when I tell them that I am not a very social person. They usually don't believe me.

I wouldn't describe myself as lonely. I can go hang out with friends at any given moment, I just often prefer not to. I love curling up with a good book or magazine. On the other hand, I don't get uncomfortable or feel awkward in social situations, even though I'm usually silent most of the time. But I'm silent because I hate small-talk. I either say what I have to say and be done, or have a lengthy conversation. Other than that, I'm probably spacing out and daydreaming.

But, as stated in the original post, it's not just us teenagers who are experiencing that isolation. It seems to be many people, from adults to children, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it anymore.

*Another note: I'm not bashing technology; I'm not anti-cell phone, anti-laptop, anti-World of Warcraft. They all have pros and cons. I am simply amazed and curious at the idea of whether, socially, we are controlling our gadgets or if our gadgets are controlling us.

I talk too much. *blah blah blah blah*

[Jess]

some people say that computers makes you social too though...but you have a point, Captor K *nods*

[Captor K]

some people say that computers makes you social too though...but you have a point, Captor K *nods*

Ahh, yes and no [and thanks for agreeing].

Yes, because hundreds of millions of people use the internet, therefore you can connect and interact with potentially millions of people that you don't know in person. Just as well, you can interact with people you don't see often or very rarely. So, yes, definitely, computer do make you more social in a way. I don't think there's any denying that, ya know?

But for the no part, when dealing with computers and the internet...it's the internet. I personally believe the quality of interaction with other people is lesser. They're just words and smileys on a screen pretty much. I mean no offense, but that's basically what it comes down to. If you have never met the person on the other side of the screen, he/she is no more than words, and you have to take them at what they say about themselves. You don't get a lot of true experience in dealing with them. I hope that makes sense.

And also, people can be dicks on the internet. If they have a computer to hide behind, they will and can be vicious. Sure, we all know some dicks in real life, but we know how to deal with those people. But this Text-Only Person, you know nothing about him, who he is, where he comes from, who he is as a human being. People can hide and lie about who they are. How do you address that? Do you just "delete" them out of your cyber life? You could, and it frequently happens. But that's not always how it works in real life. If someone pisses you off, you just don't "delete" them, you know? You might not speak to them for a long time, but eventually, they'll probably get back in your good graces. Over the computer, you deal with people almost in a totally different way than you might if you were dealing with them face-to-face.

Just my two cents, eh? :P