Im back.... :(

[Aceso]

So....things were going great....Until I saw him.

I have always worried about getting overweight, and recently I have been feeling like im gaining weight. (BMI 18.1 . I weight eight stone, a.k.a 112 pounts, im thirteen years, three months and I am five foot seven.)
Anyway I was at a barbeque and I felt like I had eaten a ton....He was there, and looking at what I was taking off the food table, looking at me as if to say You fat cow. When he was my friend he was always telling me to stop being a pig and I knew just by looking at him he was thinking it. within this past month I have been trying to throw up, unsucesfully. I just walked away, until I knew they couldnt hear me and vomited...I diddnt feel great at all....I just felt nothing.
But even though it felt awful after, and absolutley terrifying (knowing possible consiquences) I cant seem to be able to stop...I just want to do it again, get rid of all the extra food I eat, and stop feeling discusting and gross.

Damn, its like self harm. Once you start, you cant stop. Its just as hard to cover up as well. Its all his fault. He triggered me that night. Im self harming again as well...after being clean for two months...I cant seem to escape...

[MacMilker]

I know what you're going through. My ex purged, he told me he just wanted to shed a few pounds because he felt fat, but he didn't stop, and I hope he has now.
In a way, I know what you feel, because I felt they way he felt. But you have realize some of us, love food, and some of us gain weight easily more than others. You can still eat what you want, when you want. But be considerate. Instead of taking a big plate and filling it up with food. Start eating on smaller plates, scientific tests have shown that eating on smaller plates encourage us to eat less. You don't need to get rid of all your weight, because you really aren't that over weight at all. You're fairly tall, and honestly for that height, being under 100 pounds would just be unhealthy at that height.
So instead of trying to get rid of what you eat, start to be more food conscious. Try eating less, and keeping all your food in. For at least a week. If it doesn't work you can go back to what you've been doing before, but you should try this.
And if problems progress you should tell someone. Whether it be your boyfriend (unless hes your crush?) Or your mom, or your dad. Or even friends, and secondary family.

I hope you work all this out, and a guy who doesn't love you for who you are, over weight, under weight, is not worth your time hun. You should have someone who loves you for all that you are, body, face, personality, everything. And if he doesn't then he simply isn't worth your time.

Best of luck to you. And if you ever want to PM, VM, or whatever. Please do, I'm here for you. As all of us are.