I'm Finished Looking At You Through The Glass

[Zephyr]

No responses needed, just need to get this out somewhere.

There's nothing that breaks your heart more than seeing your dad on his knees crying. The pain and loneliness that I see in his eyes, it makes me cry. How tight he holds me when he's in need of a hug is almost worrying, it's like he's afraid that if he lets go, that I'll be gone forever. I hate seeing him in so much pain. He's never been one to appear emotional, but he's been a train wreck lately. He's never been one to open up, and he's been telling me everything on his mind lately. I know that some people are shaking their heads at me moving back into his house, but if they only knew the magnitude of what he's been going through to make him like this; My dad's well being is more important to me than being able to say, "Look at me, I'm out on my own!". I don't want him to do something stupid as a result of going on as he has been. When somebody needs me, I'm there, no questions asked. When he's calling me, sober, asking me to come back and that he wants to civilly mend our torn relationship, I know that there's something going on and that I'm needed because he isn't the type to reach out at all. I know that I'm overly empathetic, much so that it can be sickening, but I also know what I need to do for the greater good; Seldom do I do things because it's in my best interest, I do things when they are in the best interest of those I care about the most.

[/fin]

[Scarface]

(I know I didn't need to reply, I just wanted to)
I think you're doing a great thing here. My father has completely drowned me as well as my brother completely out of his life. I know absolutely nothing about him, I know nothing about what he's been through. He's just that old man that drinks and the man that's haunted my nightmares since I was a child. Similar to your father he is never one to open up or ask anyone for anything/reach out, it's so wonderful to see that he is. Even though it maybe some very unfortunate circumstances, it's so great that he wants to make amends. I'm pretty sure I'll never get that from my father. My father has never been sincere about what he says, of course he'll say, "It'll never happen again Anthony, it'll never happen again." Though it always does. Your dad may have realized that you're growing up and that's you're beginning your own life and he may or may not have missed out on things. So he's trying to do what he can to make things better.

I think this is a wonderful thing. I think you're doing the right thing Stephanie, I think by going back to him will open back up some of the things lost for him as well as gaining your father back. It should be a great thing to have as a support system as well as a mutual help. You're a wonderful daughter Stephanie, I think you're doing the right thing. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope for the best between you and your dad.

~Ronnie

[Zephyr]

Yeah, my dad's missed out on the last 8 years or so essentially; For 5 years of that it was him putting his second wife before my sister and I, so I lived with my mum mostly during those years; and the next year with drinking too much, kicking me out, and the last 2 years it's been him getting drunk and leaving me messages about how he thinks I'm fake, I'm a bitch, I'm selfish, I'm irresponsible... his first reaction to everything used to be anger and assumptions. I'm guessing he had a chat with my mum, who I'm very close to, and she's helping him understanding how to communicate with me since I'm not the easiest person to get talking, as I've never been much of a talker.

That's too bad about your dad, unfortunately I know a lot of people who are in the same shoes as yourself.

Oh well though, every family has it's secrets and no family is perfect no matter how solid it looks on the surface.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

Wow, honestly I wouldn't be sure how to take that...

It's great in a sense that you're moving back in with him, it shows you really care. Other then being there for him the best you can, just listen to what he has to say, and see if you can help him through it all. Mending broken relationships can be hard, but can be very much worth it. =]
I hope everything goes well.