Asylum
September 8th, 2010, 09:08 PM
there are sometimes lows that i get where i don't care... i dont care how many cuts, i want to look as ugly as possible, ijust don't care anymore. i don't care if i hurt people, or how deep i cut. now i'm sure some of you can relate. we need to know we are not worthless... we don't deserve to feel this pain we do on a daily basis. we shouldn't have to rely on our on self medicated devices to make ourselves feel normal. we are loved. we need to stay strong becuause we can get trhough this. if your upset bout somethign... know that emtion doesn't ast forever. what ur feeling now is going to end. try avoiding self harm with the 5 minute rule. keep at this util the urge goes way. now i'm at that very low... i'm trying i'm resisting.. it's so hard... :( but i'm not just resisting for myself, i'm resisting for somene i ove... i'm not going to hurt him tongiht... i'm not going to hurt myself. i want a job.. i don't want my kids to ask mommy... why do u have all these scars, and for them to feel ashamed of me... cuz right now i feel worthless... what's the point in living...? seriously... i'ts just easier to throw all his away... then i think about all those people i'd hurt... i couldn't do that to them... i'm sick of my life... but.. .they may get bettter... since i'm a pessimist... i'm saying they won't get better for me...but who knows... they might.. i just feel very alone... right now and unloved... i'm sick of my parents... my neighbors, the people at school... i'm juist so sick of it all... i'm trying so hard to stay strong... i really ammm.. so many things are goign wrong right now in my lie that i'll explain in another post... i just really hate my life and myself right now.. :( i'm at a low...