has anyone ever been so angry at themselves they just want to take their life?

[welcome_to_chaos]

i cant take this much longer...ive tryed and tryed but no matter how much i try i cant forgive myself for what ive done...i regret it so much...i wish i could go back and change everything but i cant. my life has become a bunch of lies. a bunch of things trying to keep my secret locked up in my heart. Ive become so worried that someone will find out its tearing me apart..everywhere i look now i wonder if they will ever find out. i cant take it much longer...the pain is just too much. i cant forgive myself even tho it happened years ago. how can i learn to forgive myself before the guilt makes me kill myself??? i need help...this thing has caused me so much pain..its made me punish myself by cutting..made me develop an ed cuz i didnt think i deserved food and caused me bad panic attacks....help...i cant last much longer

[enjoying_my_insanity]

ray youre strong and you can get through this i know its hard to get through something tough and scaring if you need to talk im here pm me or email me ill listen and try to give advice and yes ive been in your postion where im so upset with myself that i want to just take my life if you need anything im here
-Sandy

[Fiction]

I've been in this position before, twice actually. One of the things happened nearly 3 years ago now, although i haven't fully forgiven myself, it's better. Time is the greatest healer. Maybe you should tell somone about this... just one person you can trust. Just so that you can vent to them, and feel honest with one person. I know it is also hard to build up a relationship like that with someone, where you can tell them your biggest secrets, especailly if you've hidden them for so long but i think that would help alot.
You can pm me if you want to talk :)