FtM - Female to Male

[iMukuro]

I don't like reading long stories, so I'm sure some of you don't so I'll summarize.

I've been a girl my whole life, but I feel as if I'm all male. I'm 16 and go to a Catholic School where I must wear a skirt. My legal name is Emily but I'd love to be called Liam some day.
My father says I will never become a man, and my mother is silent about the topic. I'm not going to live for my parents, so I will eventually become the man I want to be, but I feel horrible for not being the daughter my parents wanted.

I always beg to nothing for the flat chest, the narrow body, and even the dick of a man.
My chest isn't small, and I'm growing my hair out until I finish high school, then I'll cut it short. I hate being seen as someone I'm not.
There's nothing much I can do at this moment, but maybe some of you guys know what can make me feel better.
At times, my mood spikes down to incredible depression to where I want to die.

I'm sure some of you can relate, so maybe some tips on how I can be more like myself.

[CuriousDestruction]

i'm sorry to hear about that Liam. life can be incredibly difficult in your kind of situation. You're right, you shouldn't live for your parents, be yourself. so if you really want to feel a little more like a guy maybe you should try doing some more masculine things and add masculine attributes. you can get a prescription for testosterone if needed. can you transfer to a school with a looser dress code and no uniform? you can bind your chest with tape or certain fabrics if that'll help at all.

i also go to a catholic school so i know it can be oppressive. and more than that, i know what it's like to have to hide who you are because the school doesn't want to see it. it sucks. but if you can find people who understand you and friends that accept you it helps A LOT. trust me on that.

i'm not really good at making people feel better but i wanna just say that it gets easier. once we get out, the stupidity of high school is over. no more teachers, admins, or gossip queens. whether you go on to college or not, after high school it gets to be so much better. just stay strong and remember you are who you are no matter what you look like or what anyone tells you.

[Captor K]

I will try to be very delicate in how I respond to this, as I know very little of how transgender-ism works. I cannot personally relate to you on that aspect of your post, but being gay, I have room to offer support on other fronts.

I've been a girl my whole life, but I feel as if I'm all male.

I've been gay my whole life, but I've had to come off as "straight." In much the same way, I know the feeling of frustration you must be experiencing at the moment. You may be able to change yourself one day, but it doesn't seem likely as of right now. That is no reason for you to worry, though.

My father says I will never become a man, and my mother is silent about the topic. I'm not going to live for my parents, so I will eventually become the man I want to be, but I feel horrible for not being the daughter my parents wanted.

Parents are...well, parents. When it comes to a sensitive topic like sexuality or transgender, unless they have ever been in our shoes, they will never have a full understanding about what our lives are like day in and day out. They usually do want what's best for us, but that's often according to their views. There's nothing really wrong with that, except when what our parents want and what we, their kids, need don't align. That's when problems arise.

What we have to do is educate ourselves about ourselves, so that we can at least be prepared to educate our parents. Does that make sense? I didn't know what it meant to be gay - socially, biologically, environmentally, etc - so when I started studying sexuality, I gained knowledge and insight into homosexuality, as well as other sexualities. If you haven't done so, you should read and find all you can about what it means to be transgender. It may help your parents understand and accept it, but even if it doesn't, at least do these things for yourself.

Third, let go of the guilt. You have enough on your plate without additional emotional baggage. I perfectly understand why you may feel guilt for not being the perfect daughter that meets all the expectations of your parents. I'm gay, therefore I cannot be the straight son with the wife and kids that my mother wants. Your transgender-ism and my gayness are innate, immutable pieces of ourselves. We can't keep apologizing for them. They aren't inconveniences, they're simply parts of our makeup that's all in our nature.

Life's not fair and it's not always easy. Sometimes we will have to do the hard and honest thing, rather than the easy and dishonest. Your parents can't have everything they want from you, no more than my mother can from me. It's nobody's fault we are the way we are, it's just life. Life goes on.

You seem to be on the self-accepting side, and I applaud that. Keep your chin up and love who you are, even when you face adversity for it.

[samnthaa]

Hello,
Yes this happens with many persons. i know a man who feels like a girl so he just changed his sex in to woman. so some people have this type of thing.

thanks!!

[ShatteredWings]

I don't like reading long stories, so I'm sure some of you don't so I'll summarize.

I've been a girl my whole life, but I feel as if I'm all male. I'm 16 and go to a Catholic School where I must wear a skirt. My legal name is Emily but I'd love to be called Liam some day.
My father says I will never become a man, and my mother is silent about the topic. I'm not going to live for my parents, so I will eventually become the man I want to be, but I feel horrible for not being the daughter my parents wanted.

I always beg to nothing for the flat chest, the narrow body, and even the dick of a man.
My chest isn't small, and I'm growing my hair out until I finish high school, then I'll cut it short. I hate being seen as someone I'm not.
There's nothing much I can do at this moment, but maybe some of you guys know what can make me feel better.
At times, my mood spikes down to incredible depression to where I want to die.

I'm sure some of you can relate, so maybe some tips on how I can be more like myself.

Yeah. I can kind of relate - don't go to catholic school thank fucking god.
Your parents are dicks. You are a man, just stuck in a womans body for now. Only for now. If they can't see it (and I bet they won't, since they're pushing you in religious school) then fuck 'em. tehy dont need you and you dont need them , then.

if it wasn't this, there'd probably be something else that would be "not what your parents wanted", and i bet you wouldn't feel guilty about that (be it not wanting kids, or going into the "wrong field" for work)

in the mean time, since you obvioually can't do shit socially w/school [wonders of public school, 'randomlly' changing your name is less "OMG WTF?!?112!!#"], I guess all you can do is start yer research.
where you're gonna go next yknow?

you can get a prescription for testosterone if needed. can you transfer to a school with a looser dress code and no uniform? you can bind your chest with tape or certain fabrics if that'll help at all.
Okay. There are 2 things wrong with this statement, though im not attacking you they're not exactly common knowledge.
1) T is controlled, since it's also used for illicit purposes (bodybuilding steroids), it's not that easy to get a persciption and people around him would NOTICE, quickly. even the most oblivious people would notice a voice change :P
2. NO BIND WITH TAPE. Just don't. Ever. Duct tape + skin = bad result. And other tapes wouldn't be strong enough for most people so that's a pointless endevor (lolfancy)


and. try to transfer into public school. if you know they have programs you want/need for the college thing that could be a positive for you to get your point across.
[and be allowed to wear pants! FFS even the catholic schools here allow pants on girls]

[CuriousDestruction]

Okay. There are 2 things wrong with this statement, though im not attacking you they're not exactly common knowledge.
1) T is controlled, since it's also used for illicit purposes (bodybuilding steroids), it's not that easy to get a persciption and people around him would NOTICE, quickly. even the most oblivious people would notice a voice change :P
2. NO BIND WITH TAPE. Just don't. Ever. Duct tape + skin = bad result. And other tapes wouldn't be strong enough for most people so that's a pointless endevor (lolfancy)


That's true, T is very controlled but with a prescription it's not a problem. and yes, people would notice quickly, but if you want to come off as more male then T is usually necessary in the long run.

lol, yes, tape directly on skin, bad idea. tape over undershirt, not such a bad idea. i won't go into details but i've had friends(girls) who have dressed as guys before, i know something about this stuff. and you'd be surprised how strong duct tape is. it works pretty well.

[ShatteredWings]

michael, i know that (trust me.. i know that). But for now, him going on hormones in a catholic school with an unaccepting family is a really bad idea.
also the 'under 18 thing' complicates everything.
because, yknow... a teenager can't know their gender, we're too stupid.

The tape might work, it's not something i've tried due to the idea of destroying skin and being unable to bind for over a week while it heals (hellll no) but i think your second thing with fabric is better. Wider if you're going to do that to keep it from cutting into your skin too much
[I don't have much that's too wide to use, so 1 1/2 in wide leaves all these marks over my chest when I undo it, which is annoying and painful]

[Nevfx]

I don't like reading long stories, so I'm sure some of you don't so I'll summarize.

I've been a girl my whole life, but I feel as if I'm all male. I'm 16 and go to a Catholic School where I must wear a skirt. My legal name is Emily but I'd love to be called Liam some day.
My father says I will never become a man, and my mother is silent about the topic. I'm not going to live for my parents, so I will eventually become the man I want to be, but I feel horrible for not being the daughter my parents wanted.

I always beg to nothing for the flat chest, the narrow body, and even the dick of a man.
My chest isn't small, and I'm growing my hair out until I finish high school, then I'll cut it short. I hate being seen as someone I'm not.
There's nothing much I can do at this moment, but maybe some of you guys know what can make me feel better.
At times, my mood spikes down to incredible depression to where I want to die.

I'm sure some of you can relate, so maybe some tips on how I can be more like myself.

While I myself cannot relate to this, Im sorry to hear you can get depressed Liam (I will call you that because that is who you feel you truly are).

All I can do is offer support and be someone to talk to.

[RobbieK1]

I hear what your going through. life has it's ups and it's downs but it's you who chooses how you let it affect you. be who you want to be don't care about what your parents want you to be. and they do have full-on sex changes ( balls, dick, no boobs,) you get the pic

[ShatteredWings]

User banned, thread from september
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