Confused again. Accept myself or take time?

[NVerson]

Ok im officially tired of being "curious".
This has been such a long journey finding myself and i want to end it.
I want to accept myself as who i am and then move on.
But then some people here say that it's just the hormones and that i should wait until my puberty ends.
But i no longer want to live in this confusion. A year and a half of a nightmare is more than enough!
Ive been so caught up with this issue that it made me have depression, affected my school life, and even made me cut myself...
Seeing my blood come out, i feel relaxed and it just feels good..

Now i want to move on.... I have my goals and dreams i have to achieve. *And most importantly i want to be happy :(

So yesterday i read Billy's posting saying that he finally accepted that he's gay and today when i woke up, i had this courage to accept the fact that im bisexual. But again this hormone thing keeps me from doing so. I NEED YOUR HELP!

Pls give me some advice..

So this is how i feel about girls and guys

Girls : i have rarely been sexually attracted to girls for last 2yrs. I never masterbated on a str8/lesbian porn though i sometimes did imagine havin an oral sex with girls. But I usually feel disgusted when i imagine a vagina.
Well i did feel emotionally attracted to a girl in my class and i loved her. Well i did go out with her and broke up in 2-3weeks. After breaking up i felt very depressed and i still do. I kinda still love her. Before i had feelings for this girl i actually thought i was gay coz i never had that kind of attraction for girls :P

Boys : I dont know if im "emotionally" attracted to guys (this makes me confused). Im apparently attracted to guys sexually, since i only watch gay porns and whenever i see a cute guy i magine him naked and imagine*
me having sex with him. They're so beautiful :)

So do you think im bi or just curious??

Thx in advance

[Bananasmoothie]

Its difficult, i think, for anyone to say who you are. Only you really know the answer for that. I would say, as i have to others and myself, go with what your head and heart want. The label of being "bi" is not really releavnt, because it is that that appears to be confusing you. You seem to know in what way you like girls and boys, so just go with the moment and try to ignore the label....if that makes sense.

Just be who you are mate. The label is something that society gives you, but its clearly causing you difficulty, so shed the label and try to accept yourself as a male who likes what and who he likes. I hope this helps in some way mate

Rob

[JimSauce]

I think what you need to do is let go of the labels. Don't worry so much about ascribing yourself to some dictionary definition, because it's causing you grief and making your life hell.

Whether you're bisexual or gay or a tap-dancing Buddhist Martian doesn't matter. What matters is that you are YOU! To be truly happy, forget about the labels and social groups; don't question why you feel a certain way and just go with it. So you love a girl? Then fight for her! So you like gay porn! Then jack off to it!

I had this problem last year. "Am I gay? Am I bi? Why do I like her? Why does he turn me on?" A whirlwind of questions and anxiety that only made me depressed.

Then I came out. My dad gave me some golden advice: he simply told me not to think about it. He said that I should stop worrying and just live out my teenage years enjoying whoever I crushed on or whichever person I decided to go out with. Who cares if I don't know whether I'm gay or straight or bi? All that matters is I feel a certain way, and I know that this thing makes me happy. Even if I did finally decide on a "label", would that change anything? Definitely not. All it would do is put me in a group with millions of other teens out there.

I can speak from experience. I expected the "accepting" process to be a huge milestone, but it really wasn't. Once I stopped caring about giving myself a label like some meat at the supermarket, I naturally came to terms with what I was. Even now, after never being sexually attracted to a female, if a girl suddenly turned me on I wouldn't question it. Questioning only leads you to a useless answer; not to mention said answer could be totally wrong because we're only teenagers going through puberty.

So, my advice to you is not to take any decisive action, but the opposite. Let go of the anxiety and worries of "What Am I?" and enjoy your life. It'll all work out in the end anyway. Before you know it your feelings will mature and you won't have to do strenuous soul-searching to find out who you are.

Good luck! :D

[CuriousDestruction]

forget porn for this instance, what kind of porn you watch has no impact on your sexuality.

for guys, you said your attracted to them sexually. and that emotionally they make you confused. is that because you like them emotionally? if so that probably makes you gay or bi.

for women, you haven't really answered whether you like them sexually or not?

for everything. why so anxious? why must we define ourselves at this point in time? do you really think labeling yourself bi or gay or straight will change your life? can't we just be attracted to people regardless? personally i think you should worry about labels later in life. they won't help you now. don't worry about whether it's hormones or not. just go with the wind and love who you want to love.

[teenmanchester]

i think that you did love the girl you talked about but you might not have been inlove with her. for guys if you haven't had feelings for someone then you don't know whether you are emotionally linked to guys, but in the end its you that has to figure your sexuality out.

[Billy15]

Brian, I've been there and done all that (ever since I was 12) and if I'm the Billy that you mentioned in your post, yea I finally have admitted that I am gay to myself (thank god) but only to myself (and you guys) because I don't have the balls to tell anyone else
and probably never will as long as I still live at home. So, in lots of ways, I'm still right
there where you are and your right it sucks.

As far as telling you if your gay or bi, well friend unfortunately, only you can answer that question truthfully but from what you wrote (sounds a lot like me actually) if you have emotional feelings for boys (want to fall in love, hold them, kiss them, make love to them) then again that sounds a lot like me and I am gay.

Hang in there friend and PLEASE don't cut because that only hurts you and your family and doesn't change a single thing about your sexuality or dreams. Once you do accept who and what you are, things do get better because you then know who you are and you can start loving that person. Yes there are still obsticals (and I won't lie about that) but inside you will find peace and you will be able to dream and plan your future
for when you can 100% be yourself and enjoy your life. That is where all my dreams are.

It sucks that in 2010 we still have to feel like we have to hide and that by us being ourselves still seems to effect other people (including parents Grrrrrrrr) in a negative way
but times are changing and we are getting older, so trust me, it won't always be this way and one day we both will be very very happy. So DON'T CUT!!!!!!!

Billy

[mchboy1]

I feel exactly the same as you do. I love girls but i want nothing AND I MEAN NOTHING to do with them sexually. I have a physical and emotional attraction to guys. But if you really want to have a label and get it 'over with', Sexuality is defined by the gender you want to have sex with. I dont want to rush you but you can always change the way you feel and alter your supposed label. I myself like to have a label. Gay.

[TheFame]

You seem gay. I think your hoping so much that you can live a normal life, that you labeled yourself bisexual.

Just dont try to hide your gay feelings, that will do nothing. Instead embrace them. Act like it was normal. If the feelings get stronger then you most likely are gay.

[NVerson]

Thank you so much guys!
VT's the only place I can ask for advice on this kind of issues so you guys really do help me a lot.
Thanks again.

FYI i'm leaning toward to accepting myself.. But still, who knows. I frequently change my mind so i'll keep posting here...... and hopefully you guys can help me out again :)

THX Rob, Jim, Michael, TeenManchester, William, Michael, and Adam!

[Billy15]

Brian, if your anything like me at all, you will change your mind a hundred times and will literally try to talk yourself into being straight but for me anyways, it didn't work and I think I was just fooling myself. Accepting that you are totally different then most (and for me, all of my friends) is a very hard thing to do but ya know what, eventually you hit a wall and just realize that no matter what you do, no matter what you wish, we are what we are and have to learn to love ourselves for the way God chose to make us and I figure he/her doesn't make to many mistakes lol.

[tinkergenius]

I'm gay - FULL OUT, and everything you've described, is a recall of my journey trying to figure-out what my sexuality/sexual identity was. And after that, I didn't care what other people thought of me, because I found a joy...a sense of happiness, that was all mine.

We as a human race, seem to find more things to "worry about" versus being productive.

We worry about our hair, our bodies, our jobs, our food, our sexual identities....we just worry...worry...worry..ALL THE DAMN TIME!!

Am I getting thru to you??

My GrandPaPa says: Be PASSIONATE about EVERYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE (including sex...and he "leaned-over" and "snickered" when he said this)...OR DON'T DO IT!!

I hope this helped.