Best Friend...Confused

[coolkid719]

So I currently judge myself as bi-curious...which is just a physical attraction towards guys.
I've had emotional attractions towards girls but never towards guys.
I cannot imagine myself dating or marrying a guy.

But I have this funny feeling where I'm attracted (emotionally) to my best friend who is a guy.
I think about him, imagine what I'd do with him, talk to him, be nice to him etc.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel disgusted with myself.

It would be awkward to tell my best friend how I feel...and also I have the fear that I might lose him, and cut my own self-respect.
Well...according to him...he did have a gay best friend before, and he was perfectly OK with that...but I'm not gay...I know I'm straight...but I'm attracted to him.

The person I really want by my side is him right now...

I feel very depressed about this...

Help.

[Bananasmoothie]

It is really awful when we dont understand ourselves. I know i still dont and have been curious/confused since I was 14. But i would ask why you feel disgusted, because there is nothing wrong with identifying as liking guys or girls, or both. You are who you are and like who you like. You might only like your friend, because he has everything you would find attractive in a person such as a great personality that you connect with, but he just happens to be a guy. He might be the only guy you ever really like. On the other side, you may end up liking both guys and girls, which is equally fine. Id go with what your head and heart say and try to stear away from labels. I find labels are often the most damaging part of us questioning our sexuality. Please do not feel disgusted with who you like, because it is perfectly normal to like guys and/or girls and to fantasise over them. In my opinion, it is other bigoted people who would tell you otherwise and who we should feel disgusted at...not ourselves.

Rob

[coolkid719]

I guess I'd feel disgusted by thinking about the fact how society would treat me back.

But I guess I thought myself wrong...
Thank you so much for your advice. :)

[sildavin]

Personally, I don't think this is a sexuality issue, I think you may be over thinking it too much if I may say.

My question, do you find him sexually attractive? or is it JUST emotionally? When you can answer that, you will have a better understanding.

I have a friend like that myself, and I do say that I love him, because, well, I do. Would i ever marry him no? But as a side note, if he ever wanted sex, lets just say I wouldn't refuse... ;)

BACK ON TOPIC: It sounds like, TO ME anyway, that you love him, but not in a, "I wanna be with you for the rest of my life" kinda way, more like a Batman and Robin kind of thing, or Scooby and Shaggy, see where I'm going with this? I hope its making sense, I'm pretty tired. haha.

For me, my friend has always been the one I look to, guidance, help, company, I love being with him, and I want him to be a permanent part of my life, and quite frankly, I cant imagine my life without him, it would be very dull, that I do know.

Thats just my take on it, and i probably don't know the whole story. Hope a different view on things will help you out!

[DrkZ90]

Well you already know he would be ok with having a Gay friend, which, for most straight guys, is a thousand times more difficult to handle than just his best friend having feelings for him. I think you should tell him how you feel, specially in the way that sildavin said, in not wanting him to stop being a part of your life.

[coolkid719]

Personally, I don't think this is a sexuality issue, I think you may be over thinking it too much if I may say.

My question, do you find him sexually attractive? or is it JUST emotionally? When you can answer that, you will have a better understanding.

I have a friend like that myself, and I do say that I love him, because, well, I do. Would i ever marry him no? But as a side note, if he ever wanted sex, lets just say I wouldn't refuse... ;)

BACK ON TOPIC: It sounds like, TO ME anyway, that you love him, but not in a, "I wanna be with you for the rest of my life" kinda way, more like a Batman and Robin kind of thing, or Scooby and Shaggy, see where I'm going with this? I hope its making sense, I'm pretty tired. haha.

For me, my friend has always been the one I look to, guidance, help, company, I love being with him, and I want him to be a permanent part of my life, and quite frankly, I cant imagine my life without him, it would be very dull, that I do know.

Thats just my take on it, and i probably don't know the whole story. Hope a different view on things will help you out!


Well, I wasn't really sexually attracted to him, but like you said lol, if he wants sex, I wouldn't refuse too.

But this is all mainly emotional. I love him a lot, and I want to be with him all the time.
I guess it's just a friend thing, a very deep friend thing...

[coolkid719]

Well you already know he would be ok with having a Gay friend, which, for most straight guys, is a thousand times more difficult to handle than just his best friend having feelings for him. I think you should tell him how you feel, specially in the way that sildavin said, in not wanting him to stop being a part of your life.

Well, between my best friend and I, it would be kinda awkward to tell him how I feel...
but...I could say it to him...but...when and where's a good situation to tell him?

[mmmark1985]

if he's okay with a gay friend and you're not gay then just tell him maybe that some guys are cute but you're not gay. If he asks who just say that he's kinda cute lol