The Red Devil
September 5th, 2010, 06:39 AM
Okay, I wasnt sure where to put it exactly so I'll put it here because it seemed the most appropriate.
I have been feeling this way for a long time but I've only recently started looking it up and come to the conclusion that I'm suffering from stress. This stress is causing me abit of depression, and it think it may be related to Trichotillomania. I am kind of embarrassed to admit this but I have a really bad habit of pulling my hair. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania Its not noticeable but I do have a small patch just above my fringe.
Anyway thats not what I want help with (directly) Im hoping if I can sort out my stress issues then hopefully I will be able to manage my 'habit'. I have been feeling like this for along time but its worse lately. Everything I do is try and fit in and be 'cool'. I dont have a big friend group, and I have very few ( basically no one) who I feel comfortable talking to about this. I dont have any close friends who are girls and this makes me depressed to. Ive changed my hair, my clothes, the music I listen to, my appearance, my behaviour and my language and pretty much everything to try and fit in and get people to like me and I still dont feel like I fit in. I've changed so much about me, I don't even know who I am anymore. It's like I've hidden behind a mask which has become a part of me, and I've lost sight of who I am.
I always feel tired, and I'm grumpy a lot. I have no motivation and very little energy and now my grades are suffering. I have no one to talk to about this, and I would feel really uncomfortable talking to my parents about it. Sometimes I just wish I could become someone else, one of the 'cool' kids who everyone likes. I just hate who I am and its depressing me. I have no confidence and very low self-esteem and I feel I'm dragging myself constantly into a deeper and deeper hole, yet I'm powerless to stop myself.
Also my only girlfriend Ive ever had broke up with me a while ago. We were friends and then she told me she liked me. I asked her and began to really like her too but I was always to scared and frightened about getting rejected or doing something wrong that I never made the first move to kiss her or anything, and eventually of course we broke up. That was 3 months ago and since then we have barely talked at all and yet I still have feelings for her! Is this normal? I either really need to move on, or talk to her about how I feel, we didnt even have that good a relationship! But I still cant stop obseesing about her its making me so confused which another cause of my stress.
Im just really confused and had to get this of my chest, if I just felt like SOMEONE was listening I might feel better...
I have been feeling this way for a long time but I've only recently started looking it up and come to the conclusion that I'm suffering from stress. This stress is causing me abit of depression, and it think it may be related to Trichotillomania. I am kind of embarrassed to admit this but I have a really bad habit of pulling my hair. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania Its not noticeable but I do have a small patch just above my fringe.
Anyway thats not what I want help with (directly) Im hoping if I can sort out my stress issues then hopefully I will be able to manage my 'habit'. I have been feeling like this for along time but its worse lately. Everything I do is try and fit in and be 'cool'. I dont have a big friend group, and I have very few ( basically no one) who I feel comfortable talking to about this. I dont have any close friends who are girls and this makes me depressed to. Ive changed my hair, my clothes, the music I listen to, my appearance, my behaviour and my language and pretty much everything to try and fit in and get people to like me and I still dont feel like I fit in. I've changed so much about me, I don't even know who I am anymore. It's like I've hidden behind a mask which has become a part of me, and I've lost sight of who I am.
I always feel tired, and I'm grumpy a lot. I have no motivation and very little energy and now my grades are suffering. I have no one to talk to about this, and I would feel really uncomfortable talking to my parents about it. Sometimes I just wish I could become someone else, one of the 'cool' kids who everyone likes. I just hate who I am and its depressing me. I have no confidence and very low self-esteem and I feel I'm dragging myself constantly into a deeper and deeper hole, yet I'm powerless to stop myself.
Also my only girlfriend Ive ever had broke up with me a while ago. We were friends and then she told me she liked me. I asked her and began to really like her too but I was always to scared and frightened about getting rejected or doing something wrong that I never made the first move to kiss her or anything, and eventually of course we broke up. That was 3 months ago and since then we have barely talked at all and yet I still have feelings for her! Is this normal? I either really need to move on, or talk to her about how I feel, we didnt even have that good a relationship! But I still cant stop obseesing about her its making me so confused which another cause of my stress.
Im just really confused and had to get this of my chest, if I just felt like SOMEONE was listening I might feel better...