F*ck I am going insane.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Right so I have no idea what I want from saying this. Idk.

I have extremely vivid images in my head. I get them a lot. Today was prett bad. They're always of me being attacked, beaten, stabbed, shot and worse.....being raped and murdered. They're not wishful thinking. They cause me to have a lot of panic attacks and even cut myself and contemplate suicide. I wouldn't do the last. But thinking. Ugh.

I feel like I'm crazy. Like I'm insane. I wonder if I should get myself into a mental hospital and just get help. No doubt I need help. Ugh.

[georgiamay]

I know how you feel.
I get them sometimes aswell. Just violent images that pop into my head. I don't ask for them and I don't want them.
I don't think they make you insane. If you were insane I don't think you'd be asking yourself if you were or not.
The only thing is that if they're making you cut yourself, then I think you should get some help for that. The thoughts might be caused by something deeper inside you that you need sorting out, and if they're making you self harm, then I'd recommend talking to someone about it.

I'm not an expert, so maybe you should see a doctor about it to see if anything can be done about it.

You can PM me if you ever need to talk, Michael. I'm always here :hug:

[wyatt]

I used to have them constantly for weeks I went to comtemplating suicide so many times i had to tell someone. I told a friend that ik online, and i told him everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that was bothering me. It was a lot of typing....about 3 hours a day for a week. after that, it was a lot better. I think it is something deep down... I'm not sure what is was for me exactly, probably stress now that i think about it... i was failing a class and it was going to decide weather i was going to have to take a terrible teacher again in 10th grade for a year or not. and then i was also having a lot of stress at home too. I think that you should talk to someone abotu it, mabye your closest friend, and remember EVERYTHING that bothers you no matter how small it seems, I really think it will help you out. I couldnt have done it face to face either, no way, so try online if possible. I really hope you try and it works, and I Hope I helped. and please dont cut either...

[welcome_to_chaos]

Michael....get help..u dont need to be in an institue...just u need to see someone.....i care bout u and i dont want u going thru this w out some sort of help in the professional area...we all care bout u...pm me if u need anything :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

Thanks you guys.

There is a free councelling service in my college, so gotta wait a year to use it. But I promise I'll be getting help.

I've been thinking more and more into it. When I was ten (I had these thoughts before then) I was walking along my road alone one day. A black car pulled up and a man in shades put his hand out with a candy bar in it. He offered me it and I ran home. Ever since then I've been terrified of getting in people's cars other then family. I won't go to friends' houses and so on. I think that might be a big part of it.

I had a nightmare about being attacked again. The visions...they're worse today >< I'll cope though.

Thanks you guys :hug:

[welcome_to_chaos]

Good :) we all love u and the last thing we want is u hurting or worse...dead...

[Malcolm Tucker]

Just a little update, and humour me if nothing else....the "person" in most of my images...male...6 foot 2 ish, balding, heavy set, wearing a body warmer over a shirt :/

[Atonement]

Michael, I love you. And I know you'll work through this and get the help you need, but if it makes any difference, my love's with you.

[disassociation2016]

Honestly I don't consider myself "crazy", but as most have I have imagined myself being attacked. I don't let it get to me though, honestly if it's meant to be it'll happen. If you go every day looking around your shoulder your life wouldn't be much of a life at all.