please help me...

[Unwanted_Different]

sorry for budding in but i saw this when i was looking up forums for something like this and i couldnt help but try it myself so if ur willing to listen im willing to talk so here we go...
ive been free of self harm since saturday and i was doing absolutly fine:) but drama came up in my color guard and my close friend started yelling at us for the way we behaved, and I cant handle yelling so i started to break down crying:( and her words have been repeating in my head over and over again (I'm ashamed of you guys I can't belive you would suggest this if we were good enough to drop practices the school song wouldnt look like crap so shut the hell up and deal) and its been tearing me apart, and the craving to cut has been soooo intense im having trouble getting and keeping my mind off of it. i need help so can anybody give me any ideas how to ignore the sensation?

[Fiction]

I'm sure you've heard this before but you need distractions. Unfortunatley with cutting there is no magic cure to make the urges go away. It's a battle you have to fight for yourself. You have to think of the negative effects cutting will cause and try to get it in your mind that they outweigh the good.
You have to find the distraction that works for you. For me it's lying down totally still in the dark listening to music, you could try this or find your own.
You can VM me anytime :)

[Unwanted_Different]

yea the music usualy helps, but I think its bc im not used to going long periods without cutting music doesnt help for as long as it did. I tried snaping a rubber band when i got the urge but i broke all my rubber bands in 2 days just from snappin them. and its just hard bc i quit a long time ago and went most of the summerwithout it but then drama arose during practices and home and i just caved again. its just been difficult.




EDIT: okay ive been free for a while and i told my friend that im quittin she was soo happy but right now idk how much longer i can keep it up.

[brennaluvv]

What I do to keep my mind off of cutting is I'll rant in a notebook or to another friend. If that doesn't work, I'll write down what's bothering me on a plate and smash it outside. You have to find ways to cope because I found out the hard way that cutting is not what you should do to deal. Please don't hurt yourself. (:

[Unwanted_Different]

Again thanks for the advice. and i do use the ranting methods and if i dare break a plate i wont b allowed out of the house for weeks. and S.I. is not the way to go when i started i thought i could stop but it just got worse and worse. and i havent done it in a while but the urge tonight is just soo great bc i got into another fight with my dad and my best friend yelled at me and im fighting to the best of my abilitys but im starting to cave but i wont give up. and honestly the biggest thing getting to me right ow is im scaring myself with the feeling i have right now and the urge its scarry.

[georgiamay]

Have you tried writing down how you feel? just don't think about what you're writing (grammer, spelling etc.) and just write and write and write about what's going on inside you, and then rip up the paper into the tiniest little pieced you can.

Exercise should help aswell, because exercise released endorphines, which make you feel better, and happy :) so maybe instead of cutting, go out for a run, or do a few sit ups or something.

If still feel like you want the pain of something, maybe wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it once against your skin (but don't go overboard).

Listening to happy songs normally helps. I have no idea why, it just helps you get into a better mood, therefore you don't feel like cutting.

Or, you could just post in this forum how you feel. Just make a thread about what's going through your head, and why you want to cut. Then read through it, and post. It gets it out of your system for one thing, and everyone else on this forum will support you.

Whenever you have an urge, just make sure you make yourself busy, so you don't have time to think about cutting.

Good luck, PM me if you ever need to talk about anything :)

[Mike321]

As everyone else has said, try and keep your mind off it, becuase as you know, its a hard habbit to break.
Anything to keep you distracted is good, maybe a hobby or something.
But if you really feel you need to cut try what Georgia suggested about using the elastic band, it may help.
You can always post on here if your having any problems and we'll help you out

[Unwanted_Different]

Thank you guys soo much for the advice. I do use the rubberband trick only when things get bad. and today during school i felt realy down but at the same time realy good so i stared to draw during foods(I lisen outta the crner of my ear it helps me concentrate to do somethign else) which is my last class and i continued the drawing after school at home for 3hrs staight until i had to go to guard practice i drew as long as i possibly could there and as soon as i got home i continued with it i am still working on this drawing i started around 1pm today and it has realy kept me occupied but now its nearing its end and im starting to feel down again but not nearly as bad as last night. ad i did make it last night without a cut. and tomorrow will b 1 week free and the football game so I'll b buys all day litealy. im hopeing things will start to get better they are as long as i stay busy. I will do my best to keep u guys posted on whats going on ill try to get on at least once a day it all depends on whats going on. and thank you for helping out it realy means alot.

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well i finaly finished the drawing and i took off my wristband to allow myself to draw better and it was ristricting my wrist but after i finished the drawing i decided to see how much longer i needed the band...idk how to describe it but not much longer and like idk feelin kinda guilty i ever started. but im going to go get something to eat ill post again sometime tomorrow.:)

[blah_x]

distraction distractions distractions... its the only way.
take care

[Mike321]

Glad to hear your doing okay :)

[Unwanted_Different]

well just got home from the carnival made a new friend and told me some stuff about my best friend and that she might be a fake...im srsly confused n idk....not sad not mad just i dont kno....one week and 1 day free trying to keep it that way hope i do since my parents left for the night and im home alone just gotta liten to music and stay distracted. oh n my first field sho went great!

[Harley Quinn]

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16&a=52

That's probably where you'll get the most information on distractions, and most of them from those lists works wonders. Though, there's always google self harm distractions you'll find a lot just looking around the net. Talking to people on here that deal with the same things that you do is good too because you can share advice on how to stop, take care :)

[Unwanted_Different]

got home again past cirfew feel rly sad for some reason i saw my best friend and idk i just dont feel right, i feel the need to relapse but i just cant and i get mad that i cant...i honestly dont kno what to think about it.

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alls good at the momnt gonna try out for the school play and going for all district band just trying to keep myself busy u kno?

[Aspiringanonymous]

I know the frustration of not being able to relapse - but trust me, it is all for the best. You will be grateful for it when you have regained some clarity of mind, even though you won't see it now.

It is a struggle, but the key is getting through the worst. Divert your focus, that is the most important thing. Remember that which gives you strength. Feel free to keep posting, or if you would prefer someone to talk to in private, I am here.

Hang in there. :hug3:

[Unwanted_Different]

thanks ill keep that in mind. and the auditions didnt go all tht well it was old english dialog and i stumbled and the emotion came and went. an she gave me the speach about how they need alot of ppl for the musical so i doubt i got in. but ill still do stage work. and i still have to practice for district band autitions i need something more than band and colorguard to keep me busy. and ive gone one week and 5 days and its gonna keep going up! and im getting annoyed with being emotionaly numb i hate it...im hopeing it will get better which im sure it will. well thats all for now.

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im doing realy good. im going to a fb game with my new boyfriend. he doesnt kno i used to cut and im trying to decied weither or not i should tell him...im scared of what he will say if i do tell him but then again i dont wanna keep it from him soo confused right now. and it will be 2 weeks tomorrow :)
-

9-10-10
he broke up with me....
9-13-10
doing good. been sick...i feel like i havent ate but ive been eating all day idk its weird. gonna try to stay up to date on here.
9-15-10
...things took a turn for the worst.....

[Unwanted_Different]

hey ik i havent been on in a looong time, especaily on here, i jsut wanted to update ive been free for one month and 5 days, my mom found out i cut and im on some medicen and seeing a shrink and a councler, but for the most part things r looking good, except for finals and grades god how i need to get htem up but can.