oh ana....

[Asylum]

so... ana is back and geting stronger day by day... i am continuing to OCD with my weight, and weighing myself more then once a day... whatever i eat has to be few calories, not a lot of carbs, and healthy. my mom is getting frustrated with me because of my picky eating and barely eating. She threatened me today that she is bringing it up with the psycologist, and will send me to an institution if this keeps up... i'm scared... i don't want to go to a mental hospital :(. i'm really trying to eat though, it's hard, but i'm trying. my firend Jeanette's dad knows about my anoerexia.. she told me when he side hugged me last time i was over he noticed i was boney and assumed i had anoerexic problems... which is just great.. i got teased freshman year for being anoerexic. i had just got off ADD meds and had no appeitite so i never ate, that went around the school p[retty fast and i had all sorts of people asking me whhy i didn't eat, if i was anoerexic... apparently a girl named sara was telling people i was...
i don't usually eat breakfast, but for lunch i usually eat a piece of bread with nutella - 120 calories. sometimes that for dinner too, or veggies, anything really low cal based, and i'll eat less then half a plate, i can safely say i eat way less then 1000 calories a day... i count... if it's more then 700 or close to it.. i sort of freak.. there are days where i don't even want to drink water because my body will hold the water and it will increase me weight O_o i know it sounds insane... but i seriously believe it when it gets that bad...

sometimes when i eat i get the urge to purge... i try sometimes... sometimes i succed.. and i feel better after wards... i feel guilty when i eat... :(

if someone could please give me some advice that would be awesome

[Fiction]

I feel exactly the same about when i eat. One way i'm trying to get over this is by looking at the people around me, looking at how much they eat, thinking how much less i eat. This helps me realise that eating that little bit more won't hurt me.
I'm sorry that is all i have. I'm in the same situation as you so your not alone :)

[welcome_to_chaos]

I know this may be hard. many people have gone through it before you, and many will after. you dont have to go and eat a whole bunch at first. if you throw up a lot that would be the worst thing because it could cause your esophogus to collapse. but start small. ana takes a long time to recover from it doesnt happen overnight. try eating little snack foods every hr or few hrs. and for meals start at where you are now and slowly add a little bit more but if u get to a point where u cant eat it all just stop wait awhile then go back to it later. :) it took me awhile to be able to get the hang of this but.. i eventually did. ur gunna be fine and maybe if you work out a deal with whoever is going to "send you away" you will be able to continue your recovery at home :) hope this helped

[Asylum]

thank you guys for your help and support :)

[xHunterXloganx]

I know it may be a difficult time for you, but do what ever you can to keep a nice smile on your face