I need some advice...(gay/bi/str8 guys)

[Lostboy]

Well i'm 18 and straight acting Bi, kinda in the closet, only some friends know. I like guys a little more than girls, but any way i'm in love with my best friend. I know he has feelings for me. and i think maybe unsure about himself. we always tell each other "I love you" and call each other babe and cuddle when we can. we got drunk and fooled around one night then the next day he wouldn't talk to me. we both enjoyed it I just don't know what his problem is.. has any one gone thru the same thing? i feel sooo horrible and depressed. I don't know what to say to him. I want to talk about it but i'm sure he just would rather leave it alone. I don't have any other gay/ bi guy friends. I did but they were into drugs and drank heavily. im kinda in a legal issue, so I stay away from drugs as much as i can. don't have anyone to talk to about my problem. the friends that know im bi, don't want to talk about that stuff. there kinda close minded and try to pretend im not into guys.


My best friend and I, have been thru so much together. He kind of drifted away because hes experimenting w/ drugs. so we lost some of our communication. I'm always happy when i'm with him and now that he wont talk to me about the situation i'm losing it. I couldn't stop crying yesterday, and today I feel empty. my chest hurts. he was my biggest reason for living when I hit rock bottom. I've never loved some one so much in my life. and i cant lose my best friend, I'm about to go to college and i dont want to leave on a bad note. were supposed to move in togeather, but now i dont know. I really don't have any one else that im close with. I moved around a lot when i was younger so i never grew up with any friends. I just need someone to talk to and get this huge weight off my chest. I would really appreciate positive advice. (listening to the band "this will destroy you" song "villa del refugio" i feel exactly like the music)

[LittleMonsterMike]

I Know how you feel i never told anyone about my Bi sexuality and i feel in love with my friend we weren't really that close but there was differentially a attraction there then one of my "friend"(now an Ex friend) took him from me and kinda fell in love with him too but they never went out either. Anyway after my other Him and my other friend started hanging out he's acted like i was a dieases just a bug for him to crush. But when we where alone we talk and i could tell he was scared of becoming gay or bi. He moved Over a year ago but i still can't get him off my mind. He;s left a periment scare on my heart and i will never forget him. It hurt really bad and i wish i could have been with him but i will never look back and i will move on and I will live

[Lostboy]

I Know how you feel i never told anyone about my Bi sexuality and i feel in love with my friend we weren't really that close but there was differentially a attraction there then one of my "friend"(now an Ex friend) took him from me and kinda fell in love with him too but they never went out either. Anyway after my other Him and my other friend started hanging out he's acted like i was a dieases just a bug for him to crush. But when we where alone we talk and i could tell he was scared of becoming gay or bi. He moved Over a year ago but i still can't get him off my mind. He;s left a periment scare on my heart and i will never forget him. It hurt really bad and i wish i could have been with him but i will never look back and i will move on and I will live

That sounds like it would be tough. My best friend moved away like about 3-4 years ago and I thought I lost him forever. We still talked while he was away. he eventually moved back and now this happened. I just don't want to go thru the pain of losing him again.

[xHunterXloganx]

Well, from what my new bestie Carol, its awkward after the first time, and they may not want to talk to you because of it, i understand after having a fight with a friend, and trying to rebuild the friendship, its awkward. So all of this, is normal, i think.

[Lostboy]

Well, from what my new bestie Carol, its awkward after the first time, and they may not want to talk to you because of it, i understand after having a fight with a friend, and trying to rebuild the friendship, its awkward. So all of this, is normal, i think.

God, i hope so.im just going to wait for him to open up to me.

[Billy15]

First off, your not alone and you always have someone to talk to because we (your friends at VT) are always here for you, so please, don't feel like you are alone because your not.

To be honest, I have no idea why I am replying to this because Im only 15, Im gay (not bi) I'm just a country kid and I've never had a bf in my life but your post touched me and I feel the pain in your words and I just wanted you to know that I care and your not alone.

To me (from your words) it sounds like you may care more about your friend then you even want to admit to yourself and perhaps deep down you are actually in love with him
because the way you are feeling sounds like you had a whole lot of feelings, emotions invested in him. On the other hand (if that is true) whats to say that he doesn't have the same feelings for you and after realizing that (especially with the fooling around) it's just freaking him out.

I fought with my feelings of being gay for three years now and I want to tell you, admitting that I am gay to myself was probably the hardest thing that I ever did. It's admitting that your totally different from the other 90% living on this planet and I would assume that admitting to yourself that you are bi (or him) it equally hard and remember, he has a gf, so I'm sure that even complicates his emotions even more.

Nobody can say for certain how your friend feels and there is always that chance that he is totally straight and it was the booze that allowed that night to happen but if I were you, I wouldn't think the worst and I would give him some room to think, to deal with what happened, to sort his emotions out and who knows, maybe fate will be kinder to you then you even hope for but don't get down on yourself, try to stay positive and remember, your not alone.

[Voleurz]

About the "morning after" thing. Its kinda like that the first time. I wouldn't talk to my guy the next you just kinda need time to process.

[Lostboy]

First off, your not alone and you always have someone to talk to because we (your friends at VT) are always here for you, so please, don't feel like you are alone because your not.

To be honest, I have no idea why I am replying to this because Im only 15, Im gay (not bi) I'm just a country kid and I've never had a bf in my life but your post touched me and I feel the pain in your words and I just wanted you to know that I care and your not alone.

To me (from your words) it sounds like you may care more about your friend then you even want to admit to yourself and perhaps deep down you are actually in love with him
because the way you are feeling sounds like you had a whole lot of feelings, emotions invested in him. On the other hand (if that is true) whats to say that he doesn't have the same feelings for you and after realizing that (especially with the fooling around) it's just freaking him out.

I fought with my feelings of being gay for three years now and I want to tell you, admitting that I am gay to myself was probably the hardest thing that I ever did. It's admitting that your totally different from the other 90% living on this planet and I would assume that admitting to yourself that you are bi (or him) it equally hard and remember, he has a gf, so I'm sure that even complicates his emotions even more.

Nobody can say for certain how your friend feels and there is always that chance that he is totally straight and it was the booze that allowed that night to happen but if I were you, I wouldn't think the worst and I would give him some room to think, to deal with what happened, to sort his emotions out and who knows, maybe fate will be kinder to you then you even hope for but don't get down on yourself, try to stay positive and remember, your not alone.

Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it. I think he just needs time to think so I'm not talking to him until he figures out some things about himself. I really don't know if hes straight or not. I was under the impression he was into me just as much as i was into him. Even tho we never talked about it, there was a connection non the less.

I have a bad feeling things between us are going to be different, hopefully for the better but different for sure. I know how it is to hate yourself for being gay. It was a horrible time in my life. And i accepted it, for the most part. It will always eat at me, even tho i accept it. Maybe hes going thru the same thing. I just want to be there to support him. I wish some one was there for me when I was going thru the pain and suffering of trying to identify my sexuality. and hes not the most stable person. I really hope it didn't put him over the edge. like I said we both had a rough child hood and maybe that has something to do with it. he also has bad coping skills it seems like.

Ill try and keep everyone up to date, but im not sure exactly how much time he needs... he still hasn't blocked or deleted me from FB sooo. maybe thats a sign. I want to give him space but its really hard. I cant concentrate on anything else, Its painful. I haven't even eaten in 2 days. I feel sick to my stomach. I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy.

I just cant get over the fact that if it never happened, we would still be talking. thats all I want really. I really do hate regrets and im not the type of person to regret anything. I don't even want a relationship with him right now. I just want to be able to hug my best friend again. :(

But really thanks for taking the time to help me out it means a lot to me this is just an awkward time and i need some help getting thru it. love sucks sometimes....