why is it so complicated :(

[beedubs]

ive been dating my bf for over a year now. weve had our ups and downs, but overall it is a ok relationship. its not great, but its not terrible. the problem is im not sure if i want to be in a relationship with him anymore. i want to try new things and get out there. hes my first bf so i havent had any time to date other people.

he doesnt like to go out because he gets very overwhelmed when theres alot of people. i know he cant help it, but i meen all we do is sit inside. and then if i want to hang out with other people he gets pissed at me. idk why. he has bad depression and i feel if i break up with him he might do into a deep deep depression.

also ive been talking to another boy, who is amazing (you know who you are :D). he just told me he likes me and i like him to. i feel horrible becuase im still with my bf but like someone else.

idk what to do im so confused :( you dont have to answer this. i just needed to get it out. i know i need to break up with him but i cant. i meen what do i say. he didnt do anything wrong to make me break up with him. just my feelings have changed. i say i love you every night but i dont meen it fully. grr im so confused

please move to relationships and dating. i put it in the wrong section,sorry.

[chazzrox2]

The only thing you can do is end your relationship...no. You SHOULD end your relationship, never mind it not being fair on him, it's not fair on you either. You cannot stay in a relationship where you clearly want something he doesn't.
Just because you have changed doesn't mean that you can't break up with him, yes it's not neccessarily his fault but if you let it carry on it will just become worse and worse until you may truly break his heart...
Sorry but that's what i think you have to do...just be straight with him, i'm sure you could still be close but not i that way

[beedubs]

i know i feel i should. i just dont have the guts to do it

[DarkHorses]

You shouldn't be staying with someone you're not happy with. To be honest I would be more hurt to know that the person I was with didn't really have feelings for me but wouldn't tell me and pretended he did than if he broke up with me because his feelings changed. With respect comes honesty, and if you respect him then you need to be honest with him. He deserves to be with someone that truly has feelings for him, and you deserve to be with someone that YOU have feelings for.

Just sit him down and be honest with him. Tell him that your feelings for him were never lies, but that unfortunately you're not as interested in him anymore and you don't feel that it's fair to be in a relationship with him when your hearts not in it completely. Assure him that he deserves someone who truly loves him and that you don't want to step in the way of that. He might not understand and he may be hurt or angry, but give him some time and he should pull through.

Best of luck to you. :) I hope that everything goes well.

[beedubs]

thanks amanda that really helped :)

[Billy15]

Brian, we are friends and I think you are an awesome guy but I'm going to be honest with you and tell you how I feel about your situation but please, this is just my opinion OK?

First off, I think Amanda's post was awesome and everything she said made a tremendous amount of sense. You do deserve to be happy (completely happy) and so does he. Staying in a relationship where honesty no longer lives is not healthy for either of you and like Amanda, if I were your BF, I would want to know the truth, not a lie.

You know me Brian, Ive never even had a bf so I'm probably the worst one to give you advice but I think I'm smart enough to know that no relationship is perfect, no two people are going to be identical twins, like the same things, respond the same or even show their emotions the same and to expect that is probably unrealistic, with him or anyone. I know he is your first love and your curious about what else might be out there
but I read a poem or something one time that said "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, until you get on the other side and look back" so really search your heart and be totally comfortable with your reasons for leaving because after you do, I doubt that that wound can ever be healed.

I'm not trying to sway you either way and you know I will totally respect whatever decision you make, I'm just encouraging you to be sure of your motives, reasoning, your decisions.

I'm here for you friend.

[beedubs]

i know billy. i wanted to break up once before and as it was about to happen, i broke down and really thought about what i was doing. but i dont think i love him anymore. idk it sucks because i would love to be with him, but my heart is telling me that i dont love him. it sucks. thanks bill, your a true friend

[charaze]

You'll do him a huge favor if you end the relationship. You're not happy with him and I guess he hasn't widened his horizons just yet that's why he's in his safe zone which is you.

In a relationship, both people need to grow outside of the relationship. Because if the two of you or even the other party depends on the other, it's just going to be a boring relationship.

Try very hard to make him understand how you feel and don't leave anything out because if you do, either one of you is going to hold grudges against each other which shouldn't be the case.

[Obscene Eyedeas]

you're boyfriend sounds clingy since he doesn't like you hanging out with other people. if you don't love him dump him. his depression scares you that something might happen to him but we all have our own lives. you might want to help him but you can't stay with someone you don't love for that reason. you can dump him you just need some more confidence. be with who makes you happy

[Billy15]

Hey Bri, follow your heart and follow your dreams and I think you will be just fine. I will never encourage anyone to break up with someone because I'm not walking in your shoes and only you can make that decision but I've known you long enough that I know your a very kind hearted person who searches his heart for answers so whatever you decide, I know it will be the right decision and you will find the happiness you deserve.
Personally, I think your an awesome guy and I'm very happy to be your friend. If you need to talk, I am here.

Billy