I was surprised.

[ivanori]

I'm depressed again. I was surprised. I hadn't been in a very long time. But then yesterday I realized it; it was almost as if I had been ignoring it, or it had been buried in my subconscious. I just feel so mentally weak, physically weak, emotionally weak, and don't want to do anything. I haven't been putting an effort into anything or enjoying anything. It's odd how when I cried it wasn't even a strong cry, I think I disconnected myself. All I want to do is sleep, but I can't.

[ackmedsgirl666]

try writing down your feelings in a journal or telling someone u trust how you feel
it usuallu works for me. thats the best advice i can give ya
cuz if u keep feelings bottled up inside u eventually wear urself down

[Harley Quinn]

I'm depressed again. I was surprised. I hadn't been in a very long time. But then yesterday I realized it; it was almost as if I had been ignoring it, or it had been buried in my subconscious. I just feel so mentally weak, physically weak, emotionally weak, and don't want to do anything. I haven't been putting an effort into anything or enjoying anything. It's odd how when I cried it wasn't even a strong cry, I think I disconnected myself. All I want to do is sleep, but I can't.

You were hiding it because you didn't want to feel like crap, and then when it all gets to much, you burst and you come crashing down to reality. Probably ten times worse then you expected too because you forgot what it was like to feel like that, and when it all comes back you're overwhelmed and you start feeling disconneted. Sometimes it's hard to cry because we forgot the reason the tears were actually for. I think that you should do one thing a day that you enjoy, and when it comes to night, grab a pen and some paper, draw, write, anything that'll get your mind flowly out on paper and not in your head and not inside of you. You keep it inside and when you do eventually burst, you'll be like this again, you need to talk to someone, anyone that can help and that will listen. My PM box is free if you ever want to use it, take care :)

[Kahn]

I'm depressed again. I was surprised. I hadn't been in a very long time. But then yesterday I realized it; it was almost as if I had been ignoring it, or it had been buried in my subconscious. I just feel so mentally weak, physically weak, emotionally weak, and don't want to do anything. I haven't been putting an effort into anything or enjoying anything. It's odd how when I cried it wasn't even a strong cry, I think I disconnected myself. All I want to do is sleep, but I can't.

This is from a very close person in my life. "Sometimes it's better to keep something a secret."

I agree with her. Why? Because when you were hiding it from yourself you felt better. It wasn't apparent to you and you felt good, you were living life. Try getting that feeling. Distract yourself from it and get yourself out of this hole. A few years back I couldn't stop thinking about suicide. It was in my mind and right as I felt I was about to forget it, it popped back up in my head. It was scary and annoying, but I got through it by reading. It distracted me, made me feel like I wasn't apart of this world and it made me feel like I was in a different life.

Find something similar to reading for me, or even read yourself. Just try to distract yourself and find people to talk to. This place is a great place to start. There are many friendly people willing to help and lend a hand.

[ivanori]

Thank you for all the responses everyone.

[lebowski]

ah man this sucks :(

I do psychology at school and loads of the things you described sound like major depression...

loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
insomnia / hypersomnia
depressed mood
loss of energy

if you've been like this for more than a few weeks you might be diagnosed with depression... you should go to the doctor :)

they can help because one of my close friends was suffering from depression and he had a type of therapy and also drug treatment which helped...

hope this help ???

good luck :))))

[ivanori]

Yeah, I don't know. We're making an addition to my house and we are remodeling it as well.. So, we've been spending thousands of dollars everyday and our contractor ruined the construction so we're in the process of suing him. And my brothers going to a $20,000+ college a year college. We just don't have the money for me to see anyone right now.