I want my body back.

[Dorsum Oppel]

I feel like all the parts of my body are 10 feet sway from eachother, or like I'm alway under water. Like I'm watching my self in a movie. I feel my emotions, I cry and morn, but it's like I'm an observer. All the feelung in my body feels like it's fled it's encasing, hovering just above myself, barely close enough to be there. Everyone seems dead, and I run through life on auto-pilot, semi-conciously making descisions. I can hardly tell any distinction between the air around me and my own body. Everything is continuous, and my memories blur.

I like having a solid soul and a body. I don't like feeling like this, and I do almost once a week. It impairs everything. At least every other day, I'll slip out of it for a minute or two. But sometimes, i can't be in my own body for hours at a time. I don't want to tell my parents, for rhem to see me as this dead husk of a son. I'm afraid I'll get fed pills.

EDIT:
I'm less fucked up at the moment. Well, here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder) is what I think might be going on. My family cannot afford neither a pychobabbleist or magical make-things-better-pills. But if I say something, I'm certain my parent would do all in their power to help me, putting more economic stress than already there.

Any ideas for long term solutions?

[Nathaniel]

If you have a school social worker, that may be your best option at the moment, because it sounds like you really do need to speak with someone. I'm sorry you're feeling this way though.