open relationships

[ackmedsgirl666]

so what do ppl think of them. i just wanted to know your opinion on the because right now im in an open relationship with a girl who lives in haliburton and we decided to do it this way since right now we can't see eachother.....
any thoughts

[AutumnDae]

What's your definition of an open relationship?

[ackmedsgirl666]

well open meaning we are dating but can see other ppl too\
only because of the distance of where we live and she gets boredd so i said to her we can be in an open relationship so we can see other ppl too

[AutumnDae]

Oh.

If that's what works for you, then that's great.

However, I can't ever see myself being in one. I'd get jealous. Especially with the relationship I'm in now, I wouldn't ever want to see other people while with my boyfriend.

[Andrzej]

I would never be in one personally, it just doesn't sound like me. But I suppose there's nothing wrong with them.

[justalovestruckteen]

open relationships seems good when a person is in a forbidden relationship,
so no one would ever think that there together because they are in separate relationships too,

[ackmedsgirl666]

we are trying it right now only because there is this guy that she is dating but she also wants to date me but not break my heart in the process, in this wat she isn'gt leaving me stuck in the mudd because she is dating both of us at the same time

[justalovestruckteen]

we are trying it right now only because there is this guy that she is dating but she also wants to date me but not break my heart in the process, in this wat she isn'gt leaving me stuck in the mudd because she is dating both of us at the same time

well as long as the guy knows it too,
I don't see why not

[ackmedsgirl666]

umm well he doesn't
we're keeping it a secret from him

[justalovestruckteen]

umm well he doesn't
we're keeping it a secret from him

Just hope he doesn't find out than get upset and break up with the girl than the girl will blame you than break up with you,

yeah just hope that he will never find out,

[Paladino]

I dont think that could work in any way at all, because say your partner does see someone else andtakes a liking to them and decides to date just them and she doesnt like you anymore ? I couldnt be in one, Id hate to know my girlfriend was seeing someone else as well as me and knowing about it and to let her would make me very jealous.

[-Silence]

So fuck buddies, right?
I'm against them.

[Sage]

I think polyamory, which is the proper term for open relationships (not to be confused with polygamy, big difference.) are wonderful things, though I feel a lot of people here have the wrong idea about them. They can be far more appealing when one takes on a different mindset:

Firstly, humans are not entirely monogamous by nature. The idea that a relationship is only between two people is far more of a cultural thing than a genetic behavior.

Secondly, one should be able to show affection to or be in a romantic relationship with whomsoever they please, be it one person or many. You, as a human, have no right to claim ownership over another, and so it is unfair to be upset at your partner for following their heart's desire and pursuing other romantic interests.

Thirdly, jealousy is to be expected as it is so ingrained in our culture that people should only be in monogamous relationships that it's difficult to view relationships in a different way. Though you likely will feel jealous in the beginning of a polyamorous relationship, it's healthier to remind yourself that your partner, whom you care for, is having a good time, and you should be happy for them- not bitter that you aren't getting a piece of the pie too.

And finally, polyamory needs to be consensual- on behalf of all parties. When you begin keeping secrets and having secondary relationships your main partner is unaware of, you are setting yourself up for failure.

I hope you think on all of these, Kenzie, especially the last point I raised- because from the way I see things right now, someone is bound to get hurt.

So fuck buddies, right?
I'm against them.
That's an incredibly short-sighted generalization.

[Jenna.]

I don't like them or agree with them. Now, I don't have anything against people who are in them so don't think I'm attacking you. I just dislike them. I'm the jealous type, so if I knew my boyfriend was seeing other girls, I'd flip shit. And likewise...he can get jealous too so I wouldn't want to do that to him. I think relationships are an all or nothing kind of deal...either you're together, strictly with each other, or you're not.

[Sage]

I don't like them or agree with them. Now, I don't have anything against people who are in them so don't think I'm attacking you. I just dislike them. I'm the jealous type, so if I knew my boyfriend was seeing other girls, I'd flip shit. And likewise...he can get jealous too so I wouldn't want to do that to him. I think relationships are an all or nothing kind of deal...either you're together, strictly with each other, or you're not.

I find it incredibly ironic that a relationship supposedly based on love is held together by the selfish notion that each partner may only indulge the other. If love is among the greatest feelings in the world, why is it so proudly locked up and not shared?

[ackmedsgirl666]

So fuck buddies, right?
I'm against them.
i never once mentioned fuck buddies

[DarkHorses]

I personally wouldn't be in one, I'd want to be in a regular relationship or no relationship at all. I wouldn't be able to stand the idea of the person I have feelings for being with someone else at the same time as me, it would make me insanely jealous. But if you're able to handle it then I don't see anything wrong with it.

[Jenna.]

I find it incredibly ironic that a relationship supposedly based on love is held together by the selfish notion that each partner may only indulge the other. If love is among the greatest feelings in the world, why is it so proudly locked up and not shared?

If you truly love someone, why would you want to go running around & seeing all these different people when you could be with the "one"? It doesn't make sense to me. I don't know about you, but I'd only want to be with one other person who loves me the same.

[ackmedsgirl666]

but heres the thing
amy does love me with all her heart, its just only fait to her that we make our relationship this way because of the distance between us and we cannot see eachother at the moment. this way i can let her see other guys so she does not feel lonely when im not around to be with her if u know what i mean.

[Jenna.]

but heres the thing
amy does love me with all her heart, its just only fait to her that we make our relationship this way because of the distance between us and we cannot see eachother at the moment. this way i can let her see other guys so she does not feel lonely when im not around to be with her if u know what i mean.

I do know what you mean & if that works for you guys, then that's good. I was just saying I wouldn't like that for my relationship with my boyfriend.

[Sage]

If you truly love someone, why would you want to go running around & seeing all these different people when you could be with the "one"?
Because there is no "one". There are many exemplary women out there that I would happily be with, and convincing oneself that there's only a single other person in this incredible world out there that they are "meant" to be with seems like a rather exclusive way of looking at things.

[Jenna.]

Because there is no "one". There are many exemplary women out there that I would happily be with, and convincing oneself that there's only a single other person in this incredible world out there that they are "meant" to be with seems like a rather exclusive way of looking at things.

Well, that's your choice. My boyfriend and I are both romantics, and we're happy with that.

[justalovestruckteen]

Forbidden relationships would be good with an open one,
It covers up the forbidden relationship,

[misery_business]

I wouldn't like to be in an open relationship, I would get really jealous.

[jemima.harris]

Forbidden relationships would be good with an open one,
It covers up the forbidden relationship,
Ya, that is absolutely right which you have told here and I am also support you for that becasue there is no tension with this type of relationship and emotional persons like me also less hurt by this type of relationship.

[Jennifer's Ashes]

but heres the thing
amy does love me with all her heart, its just only fait to her that we make our relationship this way because of the distance between us and we cannot see eachother at the moment. this way i can let her see other guys so she does not feel lonely when im not around to be with her if u know what i mean.
I'm in the exact same situation- except we were kind of forced into it. Me and Zak do love each other :wub: but i moved to England (dads job) while we were together. Because I'm coming back next year for good, we figured it could work and we'd get back to being exclusive.

[ackmedsgirl666]

right now im going through a jealousy stage because of her doing this
i hate the idea of it but its for the beSt otherwise she is always unhappy because i can't be there to see her
i mean i dunno what else to do because i really love her and we really want to be together.... im soooo not cut out for this

[Camazotz]

right now im going through a jealousy stage because of her doing this
i hate the idea of it but its for the beSt otherwise she is always unhappy because i can't be there to see her
i mean i dunno what else to do because i really love her and we really want to be together.... im soooo not cut out for this

Then tell her that you're uncomfortable with the current relationship. If she actually cares about your happiness and feelings, she should offer to break things off with the current guy. If she tries to stay together with that guy, she may like him more, so it might be best to break things off.

[ackmedsgirl666]

Then tell her that you're uncomfortable with the current relationship. If she actually cares about your happiness and feelings, she should offer to break things off with the current guy. If she tries to stay together with that guy, she may like him more, so it might be best to break things off.
she did tell me tho yesterday when we talked that if i gave her a ring i asked her if she wud wear it and she said yes and if the guy she ius currently dating says anything that she will dump him
so shud i chance it because i can't break up with her i love her to pieces

[justalovestruckteen]

she did tell me tho yesterday when we talked that if i gave her a ring i asked her if she wud wear it and she said yes and if the guy she ius currently dating says anything that she will dump him
so shud i chance it because i can't break up with her i love her to pieces

Yes!I think you should take that risk,
Jump over the fence that blocks you and her
(I mean tell her you don't want her to keep going out with the guy)

[ackmedsgirl666]

alrighty i will try and see what she says
im just scared of her reaction and that she will dump me if i interfere and i don't want that to happen.. how can i avoid that??

[justalovestruckteen]

Well you'll never know what will happen unless you try,

But you could tell her why you don't want her to see the other guy, instead of just telling her not to,

that'll probably reduce the chances of her dumping you,

I don't think she will though, if she truly loves you,

[ackmedsgirl666]

and heres the thing
i know she loves me with all of her heart because she is always telling me this
but i guess i dunno anymore
im nervous to talk 2 her about it because i don't wanna get her mad
and she gets mad easily

[justalovestruckteen]

and heres the thing
i know she loves me with all of her heart because she is always telling me this
but i guess i dunno anymore
im nervous to talk 2 her about it because i don't wanna get her mad
and she gets mad easily


Do you love her?(I know the answer is yes but...)

than trust her that she won't,

[ackmedsgirl666]

ok
she just informed me now that the gut she is dating knows that me and her are together too
that makes me feel kinda better i guess knowing that shes not hiding it from him
but im still not sure how to tell her ya know
its soo hard, and like i said before i trully love her and she loves me too
and i can't afford to lose her again for the 14th time

[justalovestruckteen]

ok
she just informed me now that the gut she is dating knows that me and her are together too
that makes me feel kinda better i guess knowing that shes not hiding it from him
but im still not sure how to tell her ya know
its soo hard, and like i said before i trully love her and she loves me too
and i can't afford to lose her again for the 14th time

14th time?
what happened?

well if its too big a risk, you don't have to,

[ackmedsgirl666]

well it didn't work out
she let her biopolar get in the way and she decided to go straight and date some other guy over me and then crawl back to me crying and i would take her back
yepp this happened 13times

[justalovestruckteen]

well it didn't work out
she let her biopolar get in the way and she decided to go straight and date some other guy over me and then crawl back to me crying and i would take her back
yepp this happened 13times


probably a open relationship is better for you two,

[Andrzej]

I think polyamory, which is the proper term for open relationships...

Wrooooooooooong.

Polyamory is one committed relationship between 3+ people, open relationships are between two people in a monogamous relationship that see and have sex with other people on the side.

[ackmedsgirl666]

actually it makes sense what justalovestruckenteen said
she is dating me but on the side she is also dating 3 other ppl
it kinda makes sense bit it still upsets me especially since the past few days she has been a big time bitch to me because of me "interferring" with her other relationships
\i dunno what to do
im kinda fed up because if i dump her she will hate me for life
what shud u i do now??