Ahhhhhh!

[DanielBoy]

I'm so fucking emotional at this point. This summer I have finally come to terms with the fact I am bisexual. I have told a few people, but it seems since I have done this EVERYTHING is going wrong. A guy I liked for almost four years came out to me a few weeks after I told him, and we were going to start dating. Now he doesn't know what he wants, so I have to give him space until he can make up his mind. A friend of mine seemed to be ignoring me, so I flipped on him, and today I have found out he blocked me on MSN. Another friend of mine, he is bipolar, got mad at me and I got mad at him, and not we ain't friends anymore. Aside from Brandon, the guy I was dating, I know nobody else who is not straight. I feel like I'm alone. I don't want this from life. if this is how my life is going to be, why live through it. I don't believe god would send anybody to hell for cutting their life short, and it there is nothing after, I'd rather be in eternal darkness then this FUCKED up world.

[Syvelocin]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Well, you pretty much summed up a day in my life :/ I hate when I can relate to people cause I just feel how much they hurt.
I realized that I was bisexual in April. Seven people know so far. But I'm dating someone of the opposite sex right now. He's also bisexual, but he's more into guys. So I have that weight on my shoulders from him -_-
Being bipolar, I upset people on a daily basis. I'm always making new friends to replace the old ones I lose and always thinking that friends hate me because they're ignoring me...
I know how it feels, the loneliness. I know one gay guy, and everyone else is straight. I don't socialize with many people either.

You just have to realize that eventually, something good in life is going to come up. I know that sounds cliche and such, I used to think that too. But now I'm preaching what everyone used to say to me. I am in love with the prospect of life, though my life sucks. But what I do, I just keep my head in the clouds, thinking about how amazing it'll be when I turn 18 and move out. I'll have my own life, my own house, my own job, and I can do the things I want to do that my parents hold me back from. I know that it'll get better, because that time will come when I'm living on my own.

I'm usually steered away from suicide because I'm the furthest thing from religious you will ever find. I have a fear of death, because I am strictly against the theory of life after death, so that's usually taken care of. There are second chances in life, but for a girl with atheistic views, you only get one chance in death. I just think of how great my life will be when I have control over it, living through this so I can actually see that time of my life. The tunnel will end, so why stop before you get the chance to see that light?

[Wish]

Ending everything is a very, very serious option for you to take. I cannot stop you or make the decision for you, all I can try to do is persuade you against it. Okay, so everything is damn hard now, I appreciate that, life is, but it wasn't always. There was a time when you were happy (or reasonably content) and will be a time in the future. Coming to terms with something as big as being bisexual is naturally quite overwhelming but it was good you had friends earlier to help you through it. I'm sorry things seem to have come to loggerheads more recently.

Do you think you could calmly explain your point of view to the friend who is bipolar and the other who has blocked you on MSN? Things seem to have reached higher than boiling point there and sometimes a lot of things are said in the heat of the moment that aren't necessarily meant.

It's good you're giving Brandon space, even if it is upsetting you. You are showing signs of being an incredibly considerate person, and I hope that he works himself out at some point. Could you still be friends with each other?

I understand the loneliness, it's pretty crippling. There are a number of websites out there for people who are bisexual that might ease this feeling somewhat, if you can't find someone in real life. Everyone is different, so I guess everyone is struggling with something that makes them unusual to this world, your thing seems to be your bisexuality.

Take care.

[nick]

Daniel,

its difficult and confusing for some people coming to terms with their sexuality. That is true for your friend as much as it is for you and, for what its worth, its true for me too. You are right to allow your friend the time and space to just think things out in his own mind. Its frustrating if other friends treat you differently if they are aware of your sexuality, but that's their stupidity and failing and not any kind of fault on your part. Things may seem tough at the moment but it wont always be like that, give it time and you will find the place and space in which you can be accepted for who you are and within which you will find love.

Happy to talk anytime.

Nick