[needs working title]

[ShatteredWings]

gone~

[Sith Lord 13]

Keep going. I want to read more. :)

[XpopularX]

Its ok, but its missing tht puch. I dont wnt to read some lame thing tht i can hear from old people. It needs to touch me, when i read it I want to be like "hell yea tht shit is true" if u know wht im saying. Im very educated so i get it fully but if u wnt to reach a good audiance, u need to put less words tht cant be processed by most teenagers. Or else they will be asleep by the first paragraph. Tell me how it go's. Hope i helped ;)

[ShatteredWings]

Thanks, but... I'm not dumbing down my work because some people can't use grammar or know what words like "serenity" mean. part of my entire point is that not all teenagers are drooling idiots.
it would be re-writing his entire charecter.