telling people

[almost_there]

I cut before but people have started asking about the scars and when I tell them and try and be honest, their attitude changes towards me.

They often pull away from me or act completely different; like I am fragile and I might break at any second.

As I am recovering this makes me feel slightly fragile like they don't think I am strong enough to stop and also deal with what I had been dealing with when I was recovering.

Has anyone had this happen? Anyone have any advice?

[Fiction]

I know how you feel, I'm recovering and my bf still won't let me near anything i could use to cut. He still won't let me have pencil sharpeners back in my room in case i cut with them.
Maybe you should stop being honest? I know this isn't the response you were expecting but maybe only be honest to people close to you, who you trust and can talk to, would be a good idea. Maybe you should explain to the people acting like this that they shouldn't act differently towards you? Try to act as normal as possible around these people and this will help them feel more relaxed around you :)

[Mike321]

I know what you mean, anyone i've ever told have pulled away from me and treated my differently.
As Kitty said, maybe just be honest with the people you are closest to, or maybe find someone who you know you can trust and go to, thats what I did

[OnlyByTheNight.]

Kitty is right. I recently told my best friend about my sh and she started acting all weird but i just hung round with her and was as normal as i could be and eventually she was treating me the same as ever. The people just need time. And dont tell people you arent very close to because, lets face it, it has got nothing to do with them and you dont need them judging you.

[Wish]

I know what you mean, though I am usually pretty guarded when people ask me about my scars. It's easier to explain it away to children than it could ever be for those who are older. I guess it's about breaking the stigma that surrounds self-harm; the emo one, the generally negative one.

It is great that you are being honest, that should definitely help you with your recovery. Perhaps you could try wording your explanation differently and see which goes down best? When people ask me sometimes I say "It was a time in my life that I found hard." and they seem to accept it. Or, if they say something snide then I'll challenge them.

It depends who you want to know. I mean, strangers shouldn't necessarily matter as you'll never see them again but if it is people that are close to you that are treating you differently, it might be worth printing out some information sheets from online to help them understand a little better.

Take care.

[TheFountainGoddess]

i was afraid that if i told my bff the one i've known since i could remember things..that i cut our friendship would always b different, bcuz my whole life, our friendship has been like perfect...and i thought that if i told her...everything would start to change...so i told three people who r my friends but i haven't known very long, two of them were sorry for me and said they would listen anytime i just needed to vent, and the other one promised he would be there for me no matter what...
i recommend that if u tell just friends and not close friends everything will b fine bcuz ur normal friends haven't completely established who you are..all the time, so they can adjust to the fact that u cut better. i hope that helped...but that's wat i do..

[almost_there]

Thanks for all the advice, I have only told a couple of my really close friends a couple of them have actually cut before and when they told me I just made sure they could contact me at all times if they needed someone. But for the last couple of days one of my friends is checking my arms regularly and I know she is just concerned but it makes it harder.

Another thing I find with telling people is the disbelief, I did cut for one year and the ones I have told (my closest friends) are often shocked by the fact and can't believe its true, they think it only happens in drama television shows, and the struggle to believe that i did it and am not just lieing.

[Wish]

Unfortunately, with self-harm, the babysitting and disbelief are going to accompany talking to people most of the time. This isn't because whoever you've told want to make it harder, they just care about you. Self-harm is such a misunderstood and hidden topic, it isn't surprising that all they can think to do is to check up on you. Families and people close to you might not want to believe you're hurting yourself because they love you so much, that's usually the reasons behind the doubt.

If you feel that no one 'gets' what you wan to say, go on the internet and print off some information leaflets. The internet is a minefield of information.

[almost_there]

Thanks for the help guys/girls, it makes it easier to deal with the situation when you know your not alone in this situation.

I am gonna look at some information to give to them and explain it to them.

Thanks again.