umm

[idk girl]

Hi. i'm new. i hope im posting in the right place. so here goes: i'm back home with all my family and other friends and im back to my old self. i hadn't cut in just over 2 months! (that's what my camp does to me-it's amazing i wish i was there 24/7) Anyway i cut again not because something was bothering me but because i felt like i NEEDED to. and im back to feeling that way. i can't even think about camp to make it better it just makes me more ashamed. anyway im not suicidal but im just thinking about it again. and i there's no way my parents can find out. i can't really get help with out my parents knowing, and they can NOT know. i just kinda don't know what to do, i don't really want to keep doing what i have for the past 2 years.
P.S. hugs are greatly appreciated!

[Aspiringanonymous]

:hug3: Welcome to VT.

I understand if you feel that getting help in real life isn't an option, sometimes that is the case, especially with unforgiving parents. Professional help isn't always necessary, but it can make things a bit easier to have someone there for you, committed to helping you get better. The point is to have a person or people like that in your life - what about friends, are you close enough to anyone to trust them with these issues? If that won't do either, you can come to us any time, we'll always be glad to listen and help.

The most important thing, if you truly wish to change this behaviour, is to be committed and persistent. There will be relapses, and times when it seems as if all is in vain and failure is inevitable - but if you persist through these times, continue trying even after every slip up, you will reach the light at some point. And it will be worthwhile. Don't be afraid to reach out to somebody, anybody, when the going gets tough; you don't have to be alone.

I think there are two crucial things to keep in mind for anyone who is serious about recovery. The first thing is, no matter how much the voices in your mind and their emotional counterpart says otherwise, no, self-harm is not a need. It may be a want, but that's not the same thing at all. Think back to the days before you started cutting, that is proof that you can live without it just fine. You've been there before, you can find it again. However, things have most likely changed since then - and I assume that self-harm was what you turned to for coping with uncomfortable aspects of change. It may indeed seem like self-harm is necessary when one is not aware of any other coping method - that's why you should be seeking out healthier alternatives at the same time as well. In the long run, you know that cutting will only do more harm than good, no matter how attractive it may seem in the short term.

It takes a lot of courage to take the road back to a self-harm free life, especially if it has been a significant part of your life for a long time. You've already managed two months without it - this shows that it is possible. Surround yourself with positive influences and environments as much as you can. If there isn't much of it around right now, just stay open, you never know what might come your way - just like this camp experience.

All the best to you. :hug3:

[idk girl]

thanks so much it helped! i think i will text my youth minister and talk to her. :)