I can't move on the pain's never gone.

[SecretHarmer]

Ok, So 4 months ago I took my 4 year old parrot into the garden, it was a beautiful day and stupidly i thought she'd just stick by me and be happy to feel the sun on her feathers. But she leaped from me and flew out into the world. After 2 weeks of searched sor her, with several sightings we got a phone call message, she'd been found dead in someones garden, we rang them and they said they'd wrapped her up and put her in the bin days before, so sadly i couldn't even bury her but they cut off her leg band and sent me that.
I only told my parents 3 weeks after we heard about her death that i took her outside, before the 3 weeks i told them she'd accidently got out of a door that opened accidently. They were so mad at me and occasionally my family remind my i'm 'shit' with animals and i feel so bad all the time.
I never speak about 'April' the parrot because i have so much pain that is still there.
Me and April were like bestfriends, we spent so much time together and i had her since she was 10 weeks old. I can't get over it, the fact it was my fault makes it even worse. Worst of all there's no-one to talk to, friends just saw 'aww' etc and i won't pass it past family because last time i got a repyl of 'you shouldnt of took her outside then'.
I miss her more than anything in the world, and i loved her more than anything.
I will NEVER speak about how i feel to my parents, so councelling is out of the question.
What can I do? :(

[XpopularX]

Well get a new one or vent to ur closest friend. Right now i got in trouble over some milk (ikr) but its the same kinda of problem, I just let it go cuz i know if i hold a gruge or something life will suck for awhile. Death is a part of life and without death wld we have life?

[SecretHarmer]

My dad doesn't know whether i can have another because i was careless with the last.
I never feel satisfied talking to even my closest friends. :(
Thanks anyway.

[Aspiringanonymous]

Precisely, death is a part of life - to die is to return to nature, to one's origins, to the immense. Each one continues to exist, even after their current physical body breaks down. Even as mere dust and ashes, a part of the deceased will remain - living - in a different form.

Change is never easy to accept, especially when it involves loss, but you must be patient with yourself. It's okay to feel sadness and guilt and whatever else is going through your mind right now. It's all a natural part of the grieving process. Despite what the feelings may say, though, remember that it isn't your fault - you couldn't have known that she would fly off and eventually get herself killed. It's hard to say what may have happened during the disappearance anyway.

It definitely is good to talk about it. Get these thoughts and feelings out into the open, so that it will have less to eat away at your insides with. If there's no one to talk to in real life, you can always talk to us. Feel free to send me a PM any time.

Above all else, you must find the courage and resolve to move on. There is always a tendency to keep the deceased as close to heart as possible, in fear that a once so important presence in one's life would be forgotten. Just keep in mind that if April was able to communicate with you, surely she would not want to see you in such pain. Treasure the memory, but be willing to gradually let it go.

All the best to you. :hug3:

[TakeToTheSkies.]

i'm sorry. it really wasn't your fault, we all do foolish things. and people don't understand when they lose a pet how much it can hurt. losing anything could hurt. i really don't know what to say at this point, but i hope you can pull through this. <3