Can someone help?

[Adam38]

On november 10 I lost my mom to a long fight with cancer. And it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. She was my everything. She was sick for a very long time. Every since I was 3 she would be going to the hospital to have a mole removed or something along that line. towards the end when it was a lot worse was when we became closer. I had to grow up fast and become the man of the house. I did everything I did groceries, I cooked, I cleaned I even use to help her get to the washroom. But now that she's gone I dont know what Im going to do. She was what gave me the strength to wake up in the morning. She gave me the strength not to end it all. There were sometimes I didn't want to go on any longer but the thought that she would be there for me when I woke up and the thought that she needed my helped my through it all. But now I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel but now that light is clouded by my own tears. When I go to sleep I re-live the hardest 3 months of my life. I cant sleep and I dont want to sleep. And to make it all worse I now live with my grandmother that I was never that close to.

To be loved was the only thing I ever need from anyone and now there is no one there to supply it.

[nick]

Its very hard to lose someone as close as that and its no surprise for it to take a long time to come to terms with. Your mother must have been very proud of you and she would want you to live a full and happy life. She will always stay with you in your heart. It may take a while, years maybe, but you will find someone to love you again.

[The Flightless Hawk]

its super hard to lose someone close. try to remember they loved you and would want you to live a full life. honor them by living your life the best you can.

[Art_dude]

Grief is no easy thing to overcome. As Nick said your mother would be incredibly proud of all that you did for her and all that you're doing now. She would want you to have the happiness and peace that you deserve. It may seem like there's no one to supply that love anymore, but it's already there - your family, your friends - you just have to see it. I know it may not be easy to see right now, but it's there.

[Hyper]

My mother has been ''on & off'' cancer before I was born (almost 20 years) so I think I understand how you feel & have felt at least a little bit.

When a mother or a father loves their child they don't really think about dying before their children are independent adults. They want whats best for their kids, in their own mind and so on..

Losing a parent is a tragedy but if you really loved your mother think about her feelings and wishes for you & your future, I'm sure she wants you to go on with your life, keeping her memory, and doing what you do best.

Just because she isn't there physically doesn't mean her love for you has disappeared.

[Azunite]

I lost my grandad on my birthday, he had an heart attack while we were cutting the cake.
I suffer in my birthdays as you suffer now but life goes on.
And can I ask you why you live with your grand mother ? What about your father