Really Confused...

[starbrite5]

So, I've been cutting for 2 years now, and that's all I've ever really done. But lately, I've been having some really strong urges to burn myself instead, which is confusing and getting really hard to resist. I know I shouldn't... And I haven't yet. But I feel close to my breaking point. Help?

[xlovexkurtx]

When you want to burn, just try to remeber that it will be 100x more painful than cutting, and will leave a much more intense scar. Also, it's way easier to fuck up with a burn. You could SERIOUSLY hurt yourself.

[starbrite5]

But I think that may be part of the reason I'm having these urges out of no where. I think I deserve worse...

[xlovexkurtx]

You don't deserve anything bad. You are not the problem. You self-harm because other people have fucked you up, and you hurt yourself so they can't hurt you anymore. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. If you remeber that, you'll be just fine.

[ThisIsTomP]

But I think that may be part of the reason I'm having these urges out of no where. I think I deserve worse...
You do not deserve worse, if anything, you deserve better. Please don't hurt yourself any more than you already have, in the end, it will be worthless.

[Mike321]

As the other have said, you dont deserve worse.
Burning can leave some really nasty scars, you can really hurt yourself
Try not to punish yourself because of what other people have done or said, its never work it
Feel free to PM me anytime

[starbrite5]

Well... I did a really minor burn last night, which makes me feel bad because everyone is telling me not to... which makes me want to more... and I suppose this is what they call a cycle. It's damn hard to break it up.

[TakeToTheSkies.]

any type of self harm is dangerous...i burned myself once, and i will never do it again. it hurt like a bitch, and the scar is still there. you don't deserve worse, you deserve so much better. and yeah cycles are unfourtunealtly hard to break. "/

[georgiamay]

no, you really dont deserve worse. No one deserves the scars burns leave, i have some, and they´re really horrible, and i dont think they´ll be going any time soon.
Try not to worry about us telling you not to do it, just remember we´re all here to help you, so you should feel worse for that.

Find something to distract yourself with when you feel like burning.
Burning can be just as bad, maybe even worse than cutting.
PM me if you ever need to talk :hug:

[tinkergenius]

Has someone hurt or abused you, for you to feel this way?

If so, it is a "pent up" rage, that left untreated, is going to do nothing but continue to accumulate more ways of being self-destructive. i.e., drug/alcohol abuse.

If this is the problem, you are like an old phonograph record (and even some CD's) that has been "fouled", and when the needle (CD laser) reaches this point - IT SKIPS, and returns to the previous point...returns to the "foul" and skips again....and again..and again.

What needs to happen with you (in my opinion) is that you need some therapy, to get you re-programmed, so that this self-destructive behavior is removed from your mind, and in the case of the old record (above) CD, that the "fouled area" is "carved" out (corrected) so when the needle comes to this point...It doesn't skip anymore.

Cry out to any and everyone that can help you; not just these threads.

Get some help, ok?

Best of Luck!

[xlovexkurtx]

@tinkergenius

You have to understand that most people are very ashamed about the fact that they self-harm. I know I am. If we get over this and actually tell someone, they won't understand. A person who doesn't self-harm can NEVER understand a self-harmer. We are afraid that if we tell someone that they will ship us off to the looney bin. So you have to understand that we can't just tell everybody, go to therapy, and, yay! it's all better. It doesn't work like that. So please consider that before telling someone all they need to do to stop self-harming is tell people, because that's a lie.

[starbrite5]

Thanks, everyone. I haven't given into the urges again. They're still there , but they're a bit weaker. I haven't even cut for a while, since I left my bag along with my knife in someone's car. I'm just worried that with school starting up, I'll be really stressed and the urges will act up again...