Confused about confusion.

[ZAZ13]

Well, all of a sudden, I done n' got sexialy fused.

From the onset of puberty I was very sure and very confident about my sexuality. I had a little caveat (some call it a fetish) that I had to find out about, but once I did, I was sure I was straight and happy with my sexuality and preferences.

Then, I had a really good relationship with a girl go to hell. I got really depressed and my sex drive tanked. So since I had no sex drive, I could see girls that should have been beautiful to me, but I wasn't turned on. That compounded the depression and made me worry that my "tastes" were changing and maybe I was losing my fetish. That sounds unimportant, but its more than a fetish. You don't say gay people have a gay fetish do you? My situation is similar.- So I was worried that a huge part of my personality was slipping away. ---All this passed and I went back to normal.


Then I got depressed again......But this time, something planted a seed of doubt that I might be gay. This confuses me very much, because I have never been attracted to the same sex and I am still attracted to the opposite sex. So why do I have doubts about my sexuality?

When I see a pretty girl, I can't just be happy with the fact that shes pretty, but something creeps in the back of my mind and says "you might be gay"(Even though I am being turned on by a girl at the same moment!!!!) And sometimes the voice will come at random. I will be going about my day, and all of a sudden I think "what if I am gay?" and i get really nervous.

The fact that I now have no solid facts for a huge aspect of my life is creating a ton of anxiety. And I worry even more that I will never know for sure what I am.

Its just really messing with me.....


Oh yeah, and I'm 17, and thought I was just about out of the puberty woods when this came along.......

[Captor K]

Do guys sexually excite you? Do you see a tall, broad-shouldered,, muscular hunk of man and think, "Oh dear God, I'd cut myself a slice of that!"? Do you have an instinctive, natural attraction to men? Do you feel that you would be able to have an intimate relationship with a man (be it for one day, or one year), and be able to get erect instantly at the thought of having sex with guys, WITHOUT forcing yourself, and with little physical stimulation?

If you answered to no, you're not gay. In fact, you sound very much straight to me - with no presence of bisexuality or bi-curiosity whatsoever. There just seems to be that nagging little "What if?" voice in the back of your head, which is very common. Perhaps you are reading into something that is not there?

[ZAZ13]

I probably am reading into something that isn't there. I do it a lot. I makes issues out of thin air and worry myself till I am physically sick.

I in fact think I am straight. So when I get this nag I tell myself- "wtf am I worrying about? Im straight!" Then I think this-"If I am so straight, why do I have to reassure myself?" Its a vicious and ridiculous circle. And even though I can see that, I can't seem to break free.



Oddly, it all seems to stem back to my sex drive. There are times when I am happy and enjoy every aspect of life in general. During these times, I am very very horny.


Then when I get depressed and start worrying about stuff, I am very un-horny. And that seems to compound the depression. And I start thinking I'm gay because nothing turns me on or its hard for me to get aroused.

I don't know which one is controlling the other but they are definitely related.

[Captor K]

You make me think of my best friend. If he gets hit on by a gay guy, he trips out and begins questioning himself - despite the fact he is rigidly straight and no matter how much gay porn I show him, he just won't bend! ;)

Your problem seems to stem from your depression, not your sexuality. I think it's generally hard for anyone to get aroused - gay, straight, or bi - when they are depressed, whether that depression is clinical or just general. It's hard to be hot and horny when your spirits are down. That is no reason to question your orientation.

Maybe what you should focus on during the depressed periods, is not sex, but rather, what is causing you to be depressed. Then you can start working on fixing it.

[ZAZ13]

I think I may be depressed because Im not horny!:whoops:

This may sound dumb or obvious. But I really enjoy being horny. I feel like I am fulfilling my destiny as a carbon based being and the moons and stars are aligned and everything is just wonderfull:wub:

[Captor K]

Lol! Well, at any rate, I won't pretend to know more than I do, and if there is someone on here who can give a better answer than I can, they probably will. It just seems to me that you are too fixed on the "maybe gay" part when it seems to be obvious to me, and to yo, that you aren't gay at all. Just relax and don't let your thoughts get the better of you.

[ZAZ13]

The more I think about this, the more the "maybe gay" part seems to be a non-issue. I don't think that's actually whats eating at me(or maybe it is). But something related to sex or relationships or something is bugging me. I think im just going to have to wait and see what happens.

[VTry007]

[QUOTE=ZAZ13;985439]I think I may be depressed because Im not horny!QUOTE]

Usually depression is not caused by how you think about something.

A person suffering from depression will have reduced activity in the front part of the brain. An MRI can show that.

If you are suffering from depression, then the solution is medication that brings the chemicals in your brain back into balance.

You seen to be antsy (Nervous and unable to relax) about something. It appears you are looking for the source of your antsiness.

A poor diet can cause that. Make sure you eat healthy. Stay away from refined sugar (soft drinks, candy, donuts, etc).

If you feel like not doing anything and you are anxious about things and you don't know why, then it's best to start thinking about seeing a doctor about this.


Also, I got this from a blog entry by Artlover:

"Positive thoughts, staying busy, eating healthy, working out = kicking depressions ass!"

[ZAZ13]

I'm very confused now. I don't really know what I was worrying about or what I'm talking about.

[VTry007]

I'm very confused now. I don't really know what I was worrying about or what I'm talking about.

Well... you know what to do bud. :yes: