I need some advice... Desperately...

[katie-kat]

I feel like I am drowning in my own emotions. I find myself constantly drifting into a daydream because I can't live with reality.

I can't really remember the last time that I was truly happy, the last time that I didn't need my daydreams to keep me sane.I have a pretty good family and wonderful friends... but I am loosing everything. They all seem to be drifting away from me...

No guys ever seem to like me, at school anyways. If I get on a chat site and I talk to guys they always seem to think that I'm awesome, but as soon as I get to school and back to the people that I see everyday they all seem to hate me and push me away. I am constantly told at school that I am fat and ugly and that I am hated... and I have a low self esteem anyways but just going to school seems to make it worse.

Right now I don't have a boyfriend and the only guys that actually like me are my two ex boyfriends that are definately not right for me.
Most of the guys that are my exes say that they don't see what they saw in me... I don't know what to do. I just want to get out of this stupid small town, I hate everything about it. The only good thing about it is my bestfriend, and soon she isn't even going to be around.
Her boyfriend gets extremely jealouse if she wants to spend the day with me, and so she usually ends up ditching me for him. I am, and always will be the third wheel with them, and I seriously don't know what is wrong with me.
I want to run away, but I have no where to go. I can't tell my bestfriend any of this, because she has enough to deal with. Her mom is moving across country and her boyfriend is suicidally epressed and her brother is autistic.
I can't let her know how much I am really bleeding inside, because she has enough to deal with.

I just need to know what I should do. I am really shy and I have a problem going up to some random persona nd saying "hi" because of my low self-esteem.
HELP!!
I am seriously drowning in my emotions and I can't seem to figure out how to swim.
Please help me...

p.s. the song attached describes exactly how I feel

[jackfergusion]

I think you need a better care from someone because you are losing your self confidence. Don't underestimate yourself, you are best from your side and always be in contact with anyone either your relative or your friend. Try to keep yourself busy with your work and full concentrate on your career.

[Azunite]

Same problem here Kait :(

[JayTea]

I think you need a better care from someone because you are losing your self confidence. Don't underestimate yourself, you are best from your side and always be in contact with anyone either your relative or your friend. Try to keep yourself busy with your work and full concentrate on your career.
I agree, I had a related situation. You should not let what people say and think break your stride. As far as school goes, some people will love you and some will dislike you, don't focus on the mean people, think of the nice people that get ya through the day. Something that I do when I am having a rough or tough patch in my life is keep a journal to right out my feelings, and even when I do not want to write paragraphs I write down five things that made me happy that day. Whether it be the you got your favorite seat on the bus to you found twenty dollars, and sometimes when I list these things it makes me want to go into more detail about my day. Keep going! You can!

[Art_dude]

ditto to JTbrook96! keeping a journal, or even just venting here on VT is a good way to get you through the day. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way hun :(
When so much toxic shit is going on, it's really important to surround yourself with the good things in your life, like friends and everyday comforts. I know your best friend is preoccupied with her boyfriend, but try to make it a plan to see her x amount of days so that she can be fair in dealing out her time with you. Also, try expanding your circle of friends. If school isn't a great option, then try here on VT or the other chat site you mentioned. I have about 0 friends in real life, so it's always good to know I have my family of friends here on VT to back me up :) Small things like a nice cup of tea, or watching your favorite tv show after school are great little ways to treat yourself for surviving another day. As for the emotions - just try to calm down a bit. Make sure you're eating right, getting some fresh air and keeping your stress level down so that your thoughts aren't overcrowding your head! If you need someone to talk to let me know :hug3: