Want people to mourn

[Azunite]

Sometimes when I feel lonely, I want to die so people will remember how precious I am and mourn after me. Well that's what I want to find out, they love me or not. When I have a fight with one of my friends I just wish to be dead and want people to mourn..

[karl]

Wishing you were dead is not the best way to find out if people love you and will mourn your death! Don't pick fights with your friends just to find out how much they love you. Try being happy and positive, be a real friend to your friends and they'll respond by showing their affection for you.

[Azunite]

Well I get aggresive quite quick (and cool down quickly) but...
Well I dont know, this year I had a close friend but I thouth ( and the whole class thought) he loved a girl ( the girl i am trying to conquer for years) and when I asked him at the end of the year he said " What are you talking about? Are you high, there is no such thing!" and I wanted to kill myself because he made me lose my whole year. So when I swore on him, 3 of his best friends got mad on me ( who were also my good friends ).
When I lose something it is impossible for me to replace it. Sometimes, even if i am in the middle of my friend group, everyone is focused on me, I feel lonely.
Do ı complain too much and give you guys a headache?

[Aspiringanonymous]

No, you are never complaining too much here, that's what this site is for, to listen and help. :hug3:

I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to express with the latter post, but I can relate with your desire to die and be mourned, as I have experienced it many times before. It's okay to feel this way, but please don't ever act on it - the truth is, for those who do love you, it won't just be grieving your death that they'll have to deal with, but a shock that could traumatize and impact them for life. At the end of the day, I do believe that we have a responsibility to not deliberately inflict such a severe imbalance on the ones around us - this will then affect the people around them and so forth, one never knows how far the damage will spread.

There will inevitably be personality clashes and misunderstandings, especially with those close to us, every once in a while you are bound to catch them having a bad day - but that doesn't mean they don't like you anymore. Many harsh words can be said in the heat of the moment, that the speaker didn't necessarily intend to. :hug3:

[Azunite]

It is not that I wish to die, but I want to see if they care me or not. As long as i remember, I never saw anyone showing that he/she cares me or something.
Ever day I lose friends and never gain one, and I foresee a day when there will be noone left

[Aspiringanonymous]

Coming someone who is usually uncomfortable with open gestures of emotion - just because one does not explicitly show they care, dosen't mean they don't actually care. It's cliche I know, but trust me on this one. Sometimes it just dosen't occur to a person that any gesture is necessary, as simply being in the other person's company would be sufficient. I assume that this would be more prevalent in those with strong masculine personalities, also.

What about letting those whom you are closest to, know about how you've been feeling? If you bring it to their attention, I'm sure they will try to be a better friend to you - if they are one.

Those people that stop being your friend over small matters were never real friends to begin with, and friendship is about quality over quantity anyways. It is possible that at some point you'll realize, the vast majority of the people you spend time with do not care about you deeply enough to really be considered a friend. And that's okay. It dosen't mean that you are a bad person or anything, but likely because you were unlucky - finding a good friend who will always be there is difficult for everyone. But at least you know now, who is not worth investing your time and energy into.

Perhaps the reason why you have been losing more friends than gaining, is because you have not opened up to new social situations and the possiblity of meeting completely different people. If you try, I am sure you will gain something. :hug3:

[Azunite]

I have been trying but people don't want to make new friends actually, once the groups are established, it is hard to penentrate inside.
Anyway I am planning to make social things in high school now but I fear that there may already be people knowing each other there and I may be isolated "again".
I mean, it even affects me when they don't let me play football because there are too many players, but then when the popular ass comes to the field they immideatley take him in or even send someone out.
I mean last days of school, my best friend sold me to a boy, the boy who he hated him for years!
I just wish that people show a bit of attention, but that's never gonna happen