Help

[whodatbe]

ok, so my friend has been texting this kid for like 4 weeks now and she doesn't want to talk to him anymore but the only problem is that this kid is like suicidal and he even said that if she stopped talking to him he would probably kill himself. This kid is also telling her that he "loves her and that he his her soulmate" and it's really freaking out her out. So my question is: how can she get this kid to stop talking to her without the risk of him killing himself. Also if this is in the wrong place or i am not allowed to post this please ban me or move it or whatever I just want an answer for my friend.

[Aspiringanonymous]

I've seen this scenario in depressed teens way too often, and it's extremely disheartening. At the end of the day, the only person responsible for each individual is themselves - and this applies to both the friend and her texting buddy. She must keep in mind that her own interests do come first, and if this person is causing her unnecessary grief and interference with her own life, there is no obligation on her behalf to let it continue - because the dependency only gets more severe, and it is ultimately unhealthy for both parties.

On the other hand, he needs to assume responsibility for his own actions rather than cling to other people as a sole means of survival, because unless he does, this same situation will replay again and again with other people in the future, even if she manages to properly and respectfully end their contact.

If she cares about him, she needs to let him know that. Have a calm, respectful, and honest discussion - not through text messaging, ideally - about why she feels uncomfortable with him and the very real dangers of his tendencies. Encourage and offer self-awareness to him - that is the best thing anyone can do for him in this state. It'll most likely take some time and a lot of explaining (no it's not your fault if you weren't even aware you were being creepy, etc), but it will lead him in the right direction.

There is more I could go into regarding the contents of discussion in itself, feel free to PM me any time if you'd like, if there are additional concerns.

Good luck to you and your friend. :hug3: