Im not sure

[whodunit]

Recently I have had incredibly vivid thoughts, but they are all terrible things, lost love, death, or my own death. My sleeping patterns have become erratic and my friends are starting to talk to me less because of my problems, the problem is they are my true friends, they have given up on me. Im lost, thoughts of the end linger in my mind all the time and eat at me when im alone. Sometimes I can hear people whispering at me or my thoughts will just begin to overlap, its strange and it gets me very confused. I just dont know what to do anymore, my mom was just diagnosed with cancer and that added to a shitload of other stress that i have been dealing with and trying to live with my demons. It just makes me feel worse i complain because she is actually sick, im just whining. Im not sure why i posted this i just had to get it out somewhere i guess, but anybody have any suggestions on what to do?

[Scarface]

Don't feel like you're whining because it's venting, and everyone has to vent at some point or another. It certainly helps when you take the world off your shoulders. It's definitely a stress reliever. You certainly are going through quite a bit right now.

I sometimes get vivid flashbacks of my past and most of the nasty things and people that are in my life. They can be very terrifying. Is it a dream or is it just when you're alone? Isolating yourself and cutting yourself off from everyone and letting your thoughts take over and set you off into an abyss of your own self conscious sometimes can make you think differently. When you're alone you have a lot of time to think, so you start to think negatively. I remember when I isolated and I cut myself off from everyone because I though everyone was out to get me. I was extremely paranoid. Your friends gave up on you doesn't sound very friend like to me. If my friends did that to me I wouldn't really consider them friends. They're supposed to stand by and help when they are feeling down and be a good friend.

I am so sorry for your mother caner sure is a tough thing to hear especially when it's someone close to like your mother. Just make sure you're there for her. Sometimes sleep deprivation can cause dreams or feelings irregularly. Maybe you could set yourself a bed time and before that happens maybe read a book, or just listen to music. Whatever is calming and relaxing as when your mind is racing and everything is just so overwhelming sometimes it can create troubles with sleeping.

If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here VM me anytime. I really hope things get better for you, you have a support system here on VT so don't hesitate to vent and share your problems because we're here to help.

[whodunit]

they are all i have:( i went through everyone and they were the only ones that sort of understood or didnt freak me out. I dont think i will sleep tonight and that infuriates me. Sleep is my favorite thing in the world, its my getaway from getting away. im incredibly tired and my eyes burn, my body aches, but i just cant close my eyes. I accidentally got one of the few people who still really care to start cutting again, i did not know she had had the problem before. I had her dispose of my blade for me because i am stopping and she used my own blade to do it again. i feel like such an awful, awful person.

[Scarface]

Like I said you have to set a time where you can begin to prepare yourself, maybe you could take a warm shower/bath it's very calming and I know it makes me tired. As regards to your friends maybe you could explain to them that you're sorry that you have been isolating, but you're going through a lot at the moment and you feel it would be better if you spent a little time alone.

You're not a bad person, but for a future reference maybe you could dispose the blades yourself next time that way you know for a fact that they go to the garbage. You certainly are going through a lot right now, but you have to keep your head up. I'm glad that you aren't cutting it only makes things worse. Maybe you could have a sit down with this person that took the blade and ask her why she's doing it. You have a lot on your plate right now, but don't let all of these thoughts fester I'm glad you have came here, but maybe you should see a school counselor as they maybe able to help as well. I really hope things turn around for you. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here VM me anytime.