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July 31st, 2010, 03:14 AM
Long story:
I'm going to write as much as I can remember, I am becoming forgetful of some things it seems.
So, back in October or so of 2007, the parents seperated. Dad was and still a gambler (luckily we don't have any major gambling places where I live) and mom was working at the hospital. We (mom, brother and I) went to live with my aunt. Two weeks before the end of school, we had to move. We moved into another place without the aunt.
I was starting middle school at this time now. I was at this one school for about a day, then a tropical storm came. After that, mom said there was another school I would be interested in. ( I'm not fond of P.E to say the least) As soon as I enrolled in the other school, grades went downhill.
We had my sister, her boyfriend, and other friends of hers move in while I am working on school and mom is working. They were moochers.
At school, I just wasn't doing the homework. I think it is a waste of time, time spent with the family. Surprised I passed 7th grade.
In 8th grade now, same school as last year. Grades still sucked, no friends to talk with. I guess I was the loner. (I don't mind being alone, but I could've used some friends) We got kicked out of the house in November and stayed with moms friend for a little bit. Worst house ever to crash at.
We find a new house a week before Christmas 2009.
January 10th, 2010. Worst day of the year this year. My older brother was over. We were watching TV, playing video games. We went outside to shoot the airsoft gun for a few minutes, and see the MedEvac helicopter flying low. We go inside, and play video games for about two minutes. We get a phone call. My older brother's sister shot herself. (I have no relation to her) We were out of the house within 5 minutes and caught every red light to the hospital (20 min. away) We get there, and doctor brings the bad news. Longest 8 hours of my life.
Weird thing is, I went to visit my older brother at his house before Christmas, and got to say hi to her I think.
I was out of school for a week after to be with my sister and old brother. I didn't go to the viewing, but the Church and burial. Having to sit at the Church was hard, they had Amazing Grace, and that song beats me up.
After that incident, I tried to go back to school and trying to keep a little hush why I was gone (I was absent a lot that year)
More fun begins:
My doctor refers me to the neurologist for headaches (March). March is the same time I have my big tests at school.
He puts me on 25 mg. of Topamax, and during the test, I was hearing things others didn't. We call the doctors office, he says stop it for awhile. I get uncomfortable with people around me in public. Even sitting in the classroom got me real nervous. I withdrew from public and went Online school. The doctor says to increase the dose in May to 50. Another side affect is the suicidal thoughts. I have some ideas, and pretty hard to get rid of.
I had no motivation to do online school. Dropped out of that, and gotta repeat the year in PS. I still have fears of being in public and stuff like that. Mom thinks it's just about PE.
I've been finding myself with mixed emotions with different topics.
Like family:
My mom can't control money. She got laid off after a disability and she buys an XBOX360 (the new black one) instead of saving money for bills. We probably have enough money to last us maybe 3 months. I'm mad. She says it is a late birthday, christmas present because she didn't have money then.
My dad has the same problem. He goes and gambles at the poker room. We haven't done much since the NASCAR race last July. He is living my grandpa's house. When we go over, we just watch tv and thats it. He leaves at all times of the day to go 'places'.
I am usually the one who does more work in the house than anyone. Mom has headaches all the time. Boo hoo. I get them too and I rarely complain.
When I tell her about my medicine and why I'm not taking it, she says something like 'I don't give a flying... well you know the rest'. Thats usually her attitude towards me. I'm trying best to help mom, but I don't time to myself until they are asleep. Even if I am sick, they ask me do dishes, cook dinner. Sometimes, I wish i could steal the truck and just escape, but I'm still too young.
Side affects I think I am experiencing:
hallucinations, suicidal thought, fear of being in public, cannot trust medical field/ medicines... stuff like that.
It is just too confusing. Mom was supposed to call the psyche in April, and it never happened... Now we don't have insurance, calling now won't help. Any advice?
I think I'll stop here for now, this is plenty for you guys to read. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
I'm going to write as much as I can remember, I am becoming forgetful of some things it seems.
So, back in October or so of 2007, the parents seperated. Dad was and still a gambler (luckily we don't have any major gambling places where I live) and mom was working at the hospital. We (mom, brother and I) went to live with my aunt. Two weeks before the end of school, we had to move. We moved into another place without the aunt.
I was starting middle school at this time now. I was at this one school for about a day, then a tropical storm came. After that, mom said there was another school I would be interested in. ( I'm not fond of P.E to say the least) As soon as I enrolled in the other school, grades went downhill.
We had my sister, her boyfriend, and other friends of hers move in while I am working on school and mom is working. They were moochers.
At school, I just wasn't doing the homework. I think it is a waste of time, time spent with the family. Surprised I passed 7th grade.
In 8th grade now, same school as last year. Grades still sucked, no friends to talk with. I guess I was the loner. (I don't mind being alone, but I could've used some friends) We got kicked out of the house in November and stayed with moms friend for a little bit. Worst house ever to crash at.
We find a new house a week before Christmas 2009.
January 10th, 2010. Worst day of the year this year. My older brother was over. We were watching TV, playing video games. We went outside to shoot the airsoft gun for a few minutes, and see the MedEvac helicopter flying low. We go inside, and play video games for about two minutes. We get a phone call. My older brother's sister shot herself. (I have no relation to her) We were out of the house within 5 minutes and caught every red light to the hospital (20 min. away) We get there, and doctor brings the bad news. Longest 8 hours of my life.
Weird thing is, I went to visit my older brother at his house before Christmas, and got to say hi to her I think.
I was out of school for a week after to be with my sister and old brother. I didn't go to the viewing, but the Church and burial. Having to sit at the Church was hard, they had Amazing Grace, and that song beats me up.
After that incident, I tried to go back to school and trying to keep a little hush why I was gone (I was absent a lot that year)
More fun begins:
My doctor refers me to the neurologist for headaches (March). March is the same time I have my big tests at school.
He puts me on 25 mg. of Topamax, and during the test, I was hearing things others didn't. We call the doctors office, he says stop it for awhile. I get uncomfortable with people around me in public. Even sitting in the classroom got me real nervous. I withdrew from public and went Online school. The doctor says to increase the dose in May to 50. Another side affect is the suicidal thoughts. I have some ideas, and pretty hard to get rid of.
I had no motivation to do online school. Dropped out of that, and gotta repeat the year in PS. I still have fears of being in public and stuff like that. Mom thinks it's just about PE.
I've been finding myself with mixed emotions with different topics.
Like family:
My mom can't control money. She got laid off after a disability and she buys an XBOX360 (the new black one) instead of saving money for bills. We probably have enough money to last us maybe 3 months. I'm mad. She says it is a late birthday, christmas present because she didn't have money then.
My dad has the same problem. He goes and gambles at the poker room. We haven't done much since the NASCAR race last July. He is living my grandpa's house. When we go over, we just watch tv and thats it. He leaves at all times of the day to go 'places'.
I am usually the one who does more work in the house than anyone. Mom has headaches all the time. Boo hoo. I get them too and I rarely complain.
When I tell her about my medicine and why I'm not taking it, she says something like 'I don't give a flying... well you know the rest'. Thats usually her attitude towards me. I'm trying best to help mom, but I don't time to myself until they are asleep. Even if I am sick, they ask me do dishes, cook dinner. Sometimes, I wish i could steal the truck and just escape, but I'm still too young.
Side affects I think I am experiencing:
hallucinations, suicidal thought, fear of being in public, cannot trust medical field/ medicines... stuff like that.
It is just too confusing. Mom was supposed to call the psyche in April, and it never happened... Now we don't have insurance, calling now won't help. Any advice?
I think I'll stop here for now, this is plenty for you guys to read. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.