this obsession is starting to scare me...

[georgiamay]

ok, so its been something like 42 days, and i thought i was doing alright, but the i started feeling crappy again. Nothing's happening that's making me want to cut, its just the cutting that is making me feel so depressed, and not cutting makes me feel depressed, it's like i just can't win. i'm getting obsessed with it again. i started drawing in my notebook this morning. i wasn't paying attention, i was just drawing, and then i realise that i'd drawn a picture of an arm with cuts and burn marks all over it, and below it i'd written, "listen, i know you love me, but just let me bleed in peace."

i don't want to cut, i don't want to bleed, but that part of me that came out when i was drawing that obviously does want it. It scared me. When i took my dog for a walk i took the picture with me and threw it in the stream. This obsession is starting to scare me, i don't want to relapse, especially before i go on holiday with my family...

[whodunit]

I understand where you are coming from, I quit an entire 2 years then it started eating at me again. I gave in, but don't be like me. I know it was the wrong choice and it has made me feel 10x worse about myself. I did the same with the drawing. Talk to some friends or something, depending on what resources you have available. Occupying your time is the best i think.

[Scarface]

You have made it quite far along, there is always going to be bumps in the road, but you have conjured up the strength and have beaten the obsession and those urges for 42 days now. Why give in? Those temptations are strong, but you're doing so well. Maybe you could write yourself a small log on some paper of everyday that you don't cut and write down some of your feelings that way whenever you want to cut you can open up that log and look at how far you have come.

Never give up because this addiction ruled your life and had complete control over you, never let that happen again. It's so good to see a success story and you're one of them. You can do this. Just make sure you stay occupied without sinking back down into that controlling mentality of the "need" as it can yank you back down. You can do this I believe in you. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here PM/Vm me anytime I'm always here. Just never give into those temptations you're strong.

[delta]

You say cutting makes you depressed, and not cutting makes you depressed. Isn't it better to be depressed and not cutting than to be depressed and cutting?

[georgiamay]

You say cutting makes you depressed, and not cutting makes you depressed. Isn't it better to be depressed and not cutting than to be depressed and cutting?

yeah i see what you mean, but the only thing is when i'm not cutting and i feel depressed, i get no relief, but if i am cutting, i do get a relief, even if it's only for a few seconds. but you're right, it is better.

thanks everyone, i'll try and use your advice, and i'll try not to slip back again...

[delta]

i'll try not to slip back again...That's the most important! And you can do it!

[xgeekyrocksx]

hmm your right, the relief isnt really worth it..
is there anything you could do to make you feel happier all-round?
xx

[ShinigamiMaiden]

To be honest I have the same problem. I go ages without feeling the need to do so, then all of a sudden I get addicted again, but regret it soon afterwards. I find that if something good is going on in your life then I don't need to do it. Hang around with friends, make plans to keep your mind off it?